


Haymaker

by horriblemarc



Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: Explicit Sexual Content, M/M, Pain Kink, Raleigh has a master/pet kink shhh no one tell Chuck, Swearing, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-09-17
Updated: 2013-10-07
Packaged: 2017-12-26 21:27:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 49,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/970477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/horriblemarc/pseuds/horriblemarc
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Raleigh and Chuck get into a fist fight outside of Pentecost's office, Chuck wants a re-match; Chucks POV between Raleigh's arrival at the Hong Kong dome and the activation of Operation Pitfall.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It was a well known fact that Chuck hansen was not easily bested in fist fights. He was one of Pentecost’s best pilots -though the Marshal didn’t like to admit it- and he had taken down plenty of Kaiju, just him and his old man. He even had something of a reputation going inside the Shatterdome; The only person who can beat him one-on-one is Mako and his father, and even then he’s never far behind, always bouncing back. This reputation is slightly dented then, by a washed-up old war hero named Raleigh Becket gets a personal request from Marshal Pentecost to re-join the Jaeger program. 

Chuck hadn’t minded that so much; he’d heard about Gipsy Danger’s stone cold reputation, and he’d liked hearing stories from his dad about the two brothers that piloted her when he was younger. Now? Chuck wasn’t so impressed with it. Raleigh was just another guy who got more attention than he deserved because he had been through some shit. Who hadn’t been through some shit? Nearly everyone in the dome had tough pasts that they didn’t enjoy thinking about, it wasn’t anything new; so it was stupid that Raleigh suddenly a hot shot because of it. 

It’s not until Raleigh starts throwing punches that Chuck gets an ounce of respect for the man. He’s still laughing at how he’d completely failed to control a Jaeger that he’d used before -and nearly destroyed the shatter dome in the process- but Chuck has to admit, the guy can throw a punch. He rolls with it, taking it all in stride as he catches Raleigh in between the ribs and shifts smoothly onto his other foot to balance his weight, but then the old man manages to get the upper hand and kicks him straight in the face, making him stumble backwards, at which point Pentecost called off his dog, and Raleigh and Mako had both been called into his office;Chuck’s dad towed him off, the elder Hansen fuming quietly.

He had needed that fight though, Chuck had too much anger pent up from having to deal with the prospect of those two idiots ‘having his back’ while he nuked the bridge; he would rather go alone then with the Gipsy Danger anywhere near his mission. Just because Raleigh helped him work out some pent-up aggression didn’t mean the guy was off the hook though, because now Chuck was sore and his muscles were tense from the fight, making it impossible to go get some sleep like Herc had ‘suggested’ -ordered- him to try, especially when he knew that Raleigh thought he had won. 

Which is why Chuck isn’t surprised when he gets up from where he’d flopped onto the bed, Max raising his head in curiosity as the blonde shrugs on his civilian clothes - a loose fitting t shirt that may have been his fathers at some point and a pair of washed-out jeans. He grins at the bulldog sitting on his bed and leans forward to rub his head. Max is the only person who seems to never get embarrassed about being seen with Chuck, and rarely gets pissed at him, so he’s turned into one of Chuck’s best friends. ‘’Stick around, handsome.’’ he mumbles to his dog, as if Max wasn’t trained well enough to stay in Chuck’s quarters while he was gone. Max makes a whining sound like he want’s to come as well, but Chuck just places a kiss on Max’s head and gives him a stern look before spinning around and leaving the room, making sure to close his door behind him. 

Raleigh is on the mats again when Chuck finally tracks him down. He isn’t really surprised, with arms like that Raleigh had to work out a lot; and after something like what had just happened in the dome, someone like Raleigh practically oozed the need to do something physical. He isn’t working with a staff this time, instead he’s working by himself, going through the motions of a fight with an invisible attacker. Chuck toes off his boots quietly and shoves them with carelessly to the edge of the room. Raleigh’s back is turned his shoulders rising and falling evenly as he breathes in and out. Slipping onto the mat, Chuck moves right up behind the older man, not missing a beat as he kicks the back of Raleigh’s knees out. 

Raleigh falls like a rock, air leaving his lungs in a loud woosh of air. But he’s up again in seconds, immediately turning on his heels to face Chuck. 

‘’Come back around for a second helping?” He sneers in that same painfully american accent that sets Chuck’s teeth on edge. Where had Pentecost gotten this guy? ‘’You wouldn’t?” Chuck responds smoothly, already rocking forward with another punch as he speaks. He know’s he’s hit the nail on the head because, despite how much he hates it, he and Raleigh are alike when it comes to fighting. This punch Raleigh’s prepared for though, and the blonde easily dodges, swinging out of the way and grabbing Chuck’s arm, twisting it forcefully behind his back; making Chuck grunt with pain before blindly kicking behind him, his heel connecting with Raleigh’s kneecap. 

His breath hits Chuck’s neck when it comes out, hissing as his kneecap no doubt gets a stab of pain. Grinning, Chuck tugs his arm out of the older man’s grip and spins around, using the close distance to drive a punch into Raleigh’s gut and then his side, leaving Raleigh doubled-over and fighting for breath. War-hero or not, Raleigh clearly wasn’t used to fist fights popping up in his little construction-gig. Before Chuck can get too cocky though, Raleigh gets his breath back, using his bent position to his advantage and tackling Chuck. He nearly yelps in surprise when Raleigh’s face pushes into his stomach, arms practically yanking his legs out from under him; Chuck doesn’t have time to curl his body properly when he falls and when he hits the ground he has to grit his teeth against the pain of his shoulder blades being pushed at an odd angle. 

Raleigh doesn’t bother trying to play nice, instead leaning his full weight on Chuck’s chest and pressing his knees into the Australians biceps, leaving Chuck defenseless as Raleigh throws his first punch, knuckles connecting with his jaw. It stings and burns and tingles in a way that nearly drives Chuck mad because it hurts so much, but he also can’t get enough of how the pain spikes his heart rate and makes his hands shake. Raleigh punches again, this time a little higher, and Chuck’s cheek bone explodes with blunt pain barely half a second later. He thinks he groaned that time, drawn out in a low ‘fuck’ because that one made him notice the blood that’s building up in his mouth, no doubt from where his teeth cut the inside of his cheek. 

He chokes on the blood first before he remembers to spit, but Raleigh seems to understand and for a second -just a second- he stops mechanically beating the shit out of Chuck, both his hands held back as if he’s waiting to make sure Chuck’s not going to drown in his own blood so he can keep punching. Taking advantage of the war-heros kindness, Chuck bucks his hips up, shoving Raleigh off of him and jumping to his feet at the same time Raleigh lands on the ground. He spits again, leaving another spot of saliva and blood on the mat before he rounds on Raleigh, grabbing the man’s carefully gelled hair and twisting it painfully, distracting the American from his attempt to get up just long enough so he can straddle Raleigh’s chest, mimicking the man’s position on Chuck only moments before. 

Raleigh fights back pathetically, squirming -yes, squirming- against the grip Chuck has on his hair before Chuck decides to be nice and let go, instead placing a well-aimed punch right to Raleigh’s nose. There’s not enough force to break it, but blood starts spouting out of the older man’s nose almost instantly. It mixes with his sweat, causing it to run and flow until there’s red dripping over the right side of his jaw, drips falling into the crease of his lips and staining the faint stubble over his face. Not that Chuck was watching. Raleigh sneers up at Chuck with bloodstained lips, and Chuck punches him again, this time popping him right in the mouth, causing Raleigh to grunt and then cough, spluttering as his mouth no doubt filled with blood. Chuck leans back onto Raleigh’s hips, because he’s pissed and out for revenge, not pissed and out for getting grounded by Pentecost for beating up the new guy. Raleigh leans up slightly, rocking forwards on his now-free forearms and coughing once before spitting an equally disgusting amount of blood onto the mat as Chuck had earlier. 

‘’You done PMSing now?” Raleigh questions, and Chuck is impressed that Raleigh doesn’t seem embarrassed when his voice cracks, as high pitched as a teenagers. He cocks his head, giving a show of pondering the question for a moment before he reaches forward and pats Raleigh’s cheek sharply, right where he had punched it a minute ago. ‘’No way mate.’’ he says, tangling his fingers in the short hair on Raleigh’s neck and jerking his head forward, headbutting the blonde as hard as he could. Chuck was an expert at headbutts, knew just how to maximize the pain of his opponent without giving himself so much as a red mark on his forehead. Raleigh yelps in the most undignified manner possible, causing Chuck to start laughing, ignoring the stiffness in his face and the blood that trickles out of his mouth as he does so, rocking back slightly as he barks out a rough 

‘’Fuck, Ray-’’ before Raleigh makes an almost pained whimpering sound, causing Chuck to look down. He had meant to hurt Raleigh of course, but that was a much more vulnerable noise than he expected from someone as roughed-up as Raleigh looked. The American’s palm is still on his forehead, but as soon as he picks up on Chuck’s gaze on him he seems to get himself together slightly, using his left hand to push the side of Chuck’s jaw forcefully, making him shift his weight enough that Raleigh could get out from under him. He’d expected to get kicked again, or thrown on the ground or something but instead Raleigh just stands up and walks out of the room, his walk looking a bit awkward as he does so, making Chuck feel slightly guilty for the kick to the knee-cap. Except not really, because that was the point of hunting Raleigh down in the first place. ‘’Pussy.’’ he grunts to himself, even though he is now the only one in the room. He sits up, examining his hands carefully where his knuckles are pink and red, a few smudges of blood that probably isn’t his own on his fingers. Chuck can guess his face looks similarly, as it begins to ache with the same pulsing throb that his adrenaline leaves him. 

He’s able to get some sleep when he gets back to his room, curling up on his bed with Max pressed up into his stomach, licking Chuck’s hands every now and then as if he can tell their aching. Chuck sleeps better than he has in a long time, which he equates to getting his revenge on Raleigh, simple as that.

Chuck wakes up at oh-six hundred hours to Max nuzzling at his cheek, probably trying to tell him that he needs to take a piss. Chuck gives his dog a groggy laugh and reaches up to scratch him under the ears, his smile only widening when he sees the ugly scabs that have formed on his knuckles from where his skin had split hitting Raleigh. 

‘’fuck yeah.’’ he mumbles to himself as he swings out of bed, hastily changing into fresh non-bloodstained clothes and grabbing Max’s leash to take him outside, deciding that he can skip breakfast in favor of checking up on Striker Eureka’s maintenance crew before he goes to training. He almost grins at the idea of training; though he usually gets fed up with the rest of the shift that’s working out it doesn’t change the idea of getting his heart beating and having at least a little while to focus on something that doesn’t constantly remind him that they’re all probably going to die within the next month at least. Training is something that no-one scolds him for focusing on; and it allows the Australian time to ignore his problems without outright going through denial. 

Chuck shrugs on a jacket -threadbare and soft from being worn- and scoops up Max, mumbling to his dog not to piss on him. Outside he sets Max down on the grass and dirt on the pavement and loosely holds onto the leather leash that Pentecost had insisted he stay on -not that Max needed it, the dog was smart enough to stick with Chuck- as Max trots around, sniffing around as if any other dog has come within a hundred mile radius of the Dome lately before lifting his leg and pissing on a already sickly-looking weed. Real smooth Max, real smooth. It’s sharp and cold outside in a way that Australia never was, and Chuck revels in it. He’d never thought he’d like the cold after growing up in the heat, but as soon as he’d been transferred into the Hong kong LOCCENT he’d found himself constantly looking for excuses to get outside the dome. 

Chuck turns to go back inside, thinking that he needs to shave and attempt to make his hair look presentable and instead immediately running into Herc Hansen. ‘’Ay watch it cuntba-’’ Chuck stutters to a stop when he realizes who it is who he’s just run into, falling silent almost instantly when he catches sight of the anger in his fathers eyes. 

‘’What did you do to Becket?” He demands, and Chuck almost scoffs, because any mark he’d left on the American could be written off to the fight he’d already gotten in trouble for. ‘’You watched half of it old man, we got into a fight.’’ He says, thinking that there must be open bruises on Raleigh’s face that hadn’t completely formed the night before. ‘’Don’t play stupid boy.’’ Herc sighs, crossing his arms over his chest and frowning at his son. ‘’He won, there's no reason for him to be unable to look anyone in the eye in the cafeteria.’’ Chuck wipes a hand over his face as he tries to work the grin off his face. that’s right bitch he thinks vaguely, because he hadn’t expected to actually make Raleigh uncomfortable last night and now things are even better than expected. 

‘’I dunno, you've talked to em’ more than me.’’ he says, aiming for how he usually sounds -arrogant and annoyed- i’d like to thank the academy Chuck thinks, staring evenly into his fathers eyes for a beat before skirting past the older Hansen, Max only stopping a moment to lick Herc’s booted shin before hustling after Chuck. Since the day before, Chuck is aware that Herc’s changed a little bit, shifted into something that he hadn’t been in a while. Chuck blames Raleigh for this, dredging up old memories and stirring Herc into to motion he’d been in five years ago, which would all be fine and dandy if it didn’t seem to revolve completely around Herc being.. Ashamed? Regretful? Different when it came to his son. Like Raleigh was the person that he needed to apologize to for bringing him up wrong. That only fueled Chuck’s irritation at Raleigh though, so the Australian does his best not to poke at the open sore too much. 

After running into his father, Chuck’s mood is slightly dampened as he makes his way back to his own quarters, keying his code into the small combination lock and pushing the door open with a little bit more force than completely necessary. As soon as he’s inside he drops Max’s leash, and when the bulldog feels the leather go slack around his neck he bounds forward twice and jumps onto Chuck’s unmade bed, making the blonde smile slightly before heading into his connecting bathroom. He opens up his fly first, tugging his pants down slightly and taking a piss himself before tucking himself back in and flushing, turning back to the sink and practically jumping with a start. 

His face is mottled different colors, ranging from pink to red to purple with a few faint scabs dotted in that had already formed. There’s a cut over his nose that’s probably from his fight outside Pentecost’s office, but his cheek is bruised something awful with two small scabs that are probably from Raleigh’s knuckles; and on his jaw there’s a bruise that almost looks like a hickey from it’s placement, red and pink skin just under his stubble, surrounded by bright red popped blood vessels, dotted just under the surface. Because it’s a bruise and looks incredibly sensitive, Chuck reaches a hand up and pushes two fingers against the discoloration on his face methodically, first probing at the bridge of his nose and the pushing up against his cheek bone roughly, each poke making him wince slightly. No wonder his father had looked at him funny, the bruises -too a trained eye- looked like they were from separate fights. Chuck’s always liked getting marked up from a fight - or even just having red, bloodied knuckles form working with a punching bag more than necessary, he enjoyed the colors that tainted his skin, and now wasn’t any different, except that it felt strange to have the marks be from Raleigh. 

Not in a how-could-he-do-this way, because Chuck was pretty sure the guy didn’t even know what a moral compass was; it was in a way that he couldn’t place. He’s got a cut on the inside of his cheek as well- just close enough to his teeth that whenever he opens his mouth he gets a little stinging sensation. Automatically Chuck runs his tongue over it, breaking the skin all over again and causing a trickle of blood to fall against his teeth and make his entire mouth taste like copper and salt. Twisting the knob on the sink Chuck lets the water flow for a moment before leaning down and spitting a gob of red into the flow of clean water, watching it wash down the drain before shutting off the water. 

Chuck decided he wouldn’t bother shaving today, his bruises are too stiff to want to go anywhere near his face with a razor; besides, Chuck likes the way his stubble looks with the purple-red skin underneath it, making him look a little rougher than usual. Wiping his mouth with the back of his sleeve Chuck takes another look at himself in the mirror, taking a few more minutes to prod at the bruises and scabs on the right side of his face until starts thinking about Raleigh again, and then he quickly shuts down his train of thought, leaning away from the mirror and grabbing his toothbrush and toothpaste to brush his teeth while staring at Max instead. When he spits out his tooth paste the minty green flavoring is tainted with blood.

He’s got a spring in his step all the way to Striker Eureka’s kept, practically bouncing on the metal-plated floors as he strides to the most elevated floor, so that he’s right level with her head, orange-tainted, thick mask hiding the Comm Pod inside. She’s gorgeous, he’s always thought so, even when she’s beat up and dented as poorly as he’d seen her too many times to count after a Kaiju attack. They didn’t have money for the wax-jobs they used to give the Jaegers now that the budgets had been cut so severely, but that didn’t make her any less of a sexy piece of machinery. 

Chuck loved working on her whenever he could, even if it meant spending time he could be sleeping or training bent over a fist-sized screw oiling her every joint and kink to make sure she was smooth for the next attack, it was one of his favorite places to calm down. He just watches this time though, plopping down on the ground and sticking his legs through the safety rail to let them dangle over the drop zone. He sits like that for a long time, shoulders slumped forward and his sore cheek pressed against the cold metal bars of the safety rails, watching Striker’s mechanic crew busily move around her like ants swarming a picnic. 

It’s not until he feels a warm hand grip his shoulder that he snaps out of it, jumping and banging his temple on the opposite support on the safety rail. ‘’Motherfucker!’’ he gripes, just loud enough for his voice to echo slightly before he even bothers looking up, sneering when he finds that Raleigh is bent over him, a strangely reserved look on his face. ‘’Come back for a second helping?” Chuck says, repeating Raleigh’s words the night before, batting his eyelashes up at the American sarcastically. To his surprise, Raleigh doesn’t smirk, or even keep up the charade, he just stares back at Chuck blankly, obviously staring at the marks he’d left on Chuck’s jaw and cheek in a way that doesn't disappoint the Australian. 

‘’Missed you at training.’’ Raleigh says, his voice steady and with no detectable levels sarcasm, making Chuck shift slightly and glance down at Raleigh’s hand, which is still on his shoulder, raising his eyebrows. Getting out mutual pent-up aggression last night didn’t make them friends, if that’s what the guy thought; far from it. Raleigh flicks Chuck’s cheek -the one thats not littered with bruises- and settles down next to him, mimicking the way Chuck was curled against the safety rail and looking out over at Striker Eureka like he had any kind of possession over her. It pissed Chuck off the way Raleigh could pretend he cared about Eureka. Raleigh’s got on the same navy blue sweater he had on the day before, and there are wrinkles and presses in the fabric like he’d slept in it, which Chuck thinks is really gross but doesn’t bring it up, instead taking advantage of how distracted the idiot is by Eureka and sizing him up. He’s got some bruising around his nose and lip, even though the caked blood has long since been washed away; and where his hands are wrapped around the safety rail Chuck has a clear view of his red knuckles, skin broken and split in a few places and speckles of blood that had been to tender to rinse away. 

‘’She’s a mark V, right?” Raleigh breaks the silence, making Chuck frown on instinct. ‘’Bet you lost track around the double-I’s didn’t ya?” He says, letting his accent slip just a little bit to see if it was as irritating to Raleigh as his American accent was to Chuck. Raleigh gives a noncommittal grunt that makes him sound like a goddamn cunt, staring at the Eureka like he gives a shit about her. Not that he shouldn’t, she’s a damn fine Jaeger and Chuck isn’t surprised by the man’s awe, but it’s still irritating the way Raleigh thinks he can just come down here and oggle his girl. 

‘’Your face looks even shittier than usual, in case you were wondering.’’ Chuck informs Raleigh, more of a challenge than a statement. He tongues at the cut on the inside of his cheek, by now it’s stopped bleeding even when he scrapes his teeth against it and has just begun to throb constantly. He thinks of how his dad had mentioned Raleigh being a bitch in the cafeteria earlier, and the Australian starts to grin. 

‘’Guess that kinda makes you my bitch right?” Raleigh tenses up at those words and Chuck can see he’s hit a sore spot, but his gloating stops dead when Gipsy Dangers pilot hauls ass and brings down a closed fist on his collar bone. Chuck yelps and rolls backwards instinctively, disentangling his legs from the safety rail and coming up on his knees, one hand coming up too rub where his collar bone had been hit. It stung and burned like when you hit your funny bone on something, with a creeping fire that felt like it was going to burn right through his skin just around the bone. 

‘’Fucking-’’ he starts, but Raleigh’s been trained to fight like this for too long to not take advantage of leverage, and the older man darts forward to drive a punch to Chuck’s gut, making him gasp for air. He manages to stay on his knees, but getting up on his feet seems impossible between the leftover stinging in his collar bone and the ringing in his ears as he tries to get his breath back. Raleigh stops after that, shaking his hand like it hurts from punching Chuck. It probably does, which is the only satisfaction Chuck gets from the movement, even though he’s still struggling to take slow, measured breaths. 

‘’Don’t get cocky.’’ Raleigh mumbles, and Chuck thinks that Raleigh’s face is just a little bit pink before the American plops back on the ground like a petulant five year-old, frowning at Chuck for a moment before he goes back to watching Striker Eureka’s maintenance crew. Chuck briefly considers retaliation but he doesn’t think he wants to induce more pain than he’s already in, so he stands up and warily sits down next to Raleigh, resting his forehead against the safety rail, where they sit like that for almost half an hour before an alarm buzzes for the shifts to change, oh-six hundreds need to eat and the eighteen hundreds need to go to sleep, or at least get off the mats. 

Raleigh is apparently part of the eighteen hundreds because he doesn’t budge, but Chuck languidly pulls himself up and dutifully trudging to the cafeteria. He must have been watching Striker Eureka for hours, he realizes as he passes his father in the hallway, who stops him just long enough to hand him Max’s leash before heading to -hopefully; jesus that man smells bad- get a shower. Normally Chuck wasn’t one to sit around idly and do jack-shit for more than a few minutes; he wasn’t nearly calm enough for anything that didn’t involve at least using his hands for something useful. The cafeteria’s empty at first, but slowly more rangers and workers come in, until it’s about half-full of people, how it usually is. 

The Wei triplets are still dribbling their ever-present basketball, each one holding his tray one-handed while he moves through the cafeteria, blindly passing the ball between them. At first it had been impressive to watch them, mesmerizing even the way the never looked at anything but their own hands while working through their routine, but now Chuck had grown bored of it; the initial excitement wearing off by the three-hundredth pass. Normally he’d sit with his dad -Jaeger pilots were supposed to sit together to avoid outbursts- but Herc has already left, so once his tray is filled up he skirts around the tables to sit next to Mako, whose poking at her food with a faint scowl on her face. 

‘’Hey.’’ He says, sliding onto the bench across from her and placing his tray down in front of him. He and Mako had practically grown up together, but that didn’t make their relationship any less rocky. They both got fed up easily and liked to cut the bullshit when it came to most topics, but Mako seemed to continually hold herself above Chuck, like she was better than him despite the fact that he was the one piloting a Jaeger and she was the one who had fifty one out of fifty one simulation kills. Now, Mako ignores him, eyes glued to the plastic bowl of what looked like canned peaches as she slowly stabbed them with her fork. 

‘’Hey, Mako.” He says again, a little bit louder, and this time she glances up, fingers coming up to tug an earbud out of her ear. She looks tired, and Chuck can't really blame her after her Neural-handshake with Raleigh. How late at she stayed up last night, irritated at herself for failing and unable to go to sleep? Chuck is fully aware that if he ever fucked something like that up he would probably be unable to sleep for at least a week, and he feels a tinge of sympathy towards Mako. 

‘’What?” She asks, and Chuck smirks, but he can see behind her easy expression that maybe she’s not in the mood for him today. ‘’How’s Ray?” He asks her, his voice warm with sarcastic sincerity. Mako flings a peach at him. ‘’Raleigh has been in a mood all day.’’ she says, accentuating the beginning of the American's name as if she thought that Chuck didn't understand how to say it correctly, a tight smile tugging on the corners of her lips as Chuck glances down at the peach slice in his lap, frowning at the corn-syrup smudge on his shirt. Picking up the peach with two distasteful fingers, Chuck places it on the side of his tray, resisting the urge to put it in Mako’s hair. 

‘’Yeah, which is weird because he like, beat me up!” He says in a hushed, girly tone, leaning forward conspiratorially and leaning his elbows on the table, looking around as if this was news to anyone. 

‘’Maybe he’s just embarrassed he stooped to your..’’ Mako trails off from her matter-of-fact tone, narrowing her eyes at him slightly. ‘’What did you do to Raleigh?” She unknowingly mimics Herc and it makes Chuck snort, wondering why he always gets the same reactions; maybe its because everyone in LOCCENT has been spending too much time together. 

‘’I might have caught him in the Kwoon last night.’’ He says, this time actually lowering his voice because he doesn’t want anyone reporting him to Pentecost for ‘unprovoked self defense’. Not again. Mako, however, seems to sense his anxiousness and continues speaking in a normal tone, not bothering to lower her voice at all. ‘’So you decided to beat Raleigh up because.. He what? Pissed you off?” She questions, a hint of a glare in her eyes. ‘’Because he won.’’ Chuck realizes that sounds stupid as soon as he said it, but Mako understands what he means. She’s probably still pissed off for being rude to her just to provoke Raleigh, but they’ve known each other to long for her to not figure out what he meant. Mako goes back to picking at her food, eyes following her fork carefully. 

‘’Anata wa penisu no ugoki no teigi shite iru kotode wanaidesu ka?” She mumbles under her breath in clear japanese. You are the definition of a dick move aren’t you? It makes Chuck scowl, because until he was informed of being transferred from Sydney to Hong kong he’d never thought of learning Japanese, and now he had no idea what she’d just said, though he could figure it was about him. Before he can speak up and tell her to shove it, she glances back up at him, giving him a withering smile. 

‘’You know I can and will destroy you on the mats, Chuck, I would be nicer to Raleigh if i were you.’’ Her slight Japanese accent flows through her English and makes her words sound sweet and pretty, but Chuck isn’t stupid enough to fall for it. He wonders if she was translating what she had murmured in Japanese, but he doesn’t think she’s would; Mako is too efficient to say something in Japanese just for herself when she know’s Chuck doesn’t speak it. He rolls his eyes at her, keeping up his arrogance while mentally weighing the options of getting to punch Raleigh again or getting humiliated by Mako in front of multiple people. Everyone knew Mako was good of course, but that didn’t mean it wouldn’t hurt Chuck’s pride at how quickly she could have him down. He wolfs down his food as Mako slowly begins to eat -instead of flinging more food at him, thank fuck- and Chuck wonders if he should try to console her about the disaster of a neural handshake before shrugging off the idea. That’s what co-pilots are for, he’ll let Raleigh handle the over-emotional killing machine with blue hair later.


	2. Chapter two

The next day -well, Chuck doesn’t really live in days and nights anymore, it’s become just the next eight hour shift for him since he signed up- Chuck wakes up to Max once again licking his face, causing the Australian to screw up his face and revert to mumbling swears at his dog in between the slobbery licks until he’s awake enough to push Max away, gently holding the bulldogs face away from his and sitting up to prove that he was in fact awake. Pulling up the hem of the neckline on his shirt over his head Chuck wipes the dog-spit off of his face lazily. Max his pressing against his hand and a groggy smile crosses Chuck’s face as he rubs his knuckles over Max’s back. It had been a struggle with Pentecost to let the man keep Max when he was transferred to Hong Kong, but Chuck wouldn’t even think of leaving Max, and eventually Pentecost had been forced to admit that he needed Striker Eureka too much to deny it’s pilot keeping his pet in the dome. ‘’And now you’ve got Miss Mori on your side too.’’ he mumbles to Max, who wags his stump of a tail slightly at Mako’s name. 

Despite being just another of the Jaeger Jockeys, both Herc and Chuck Hansen have both been in the game long enough to understand much more than just how to knock out a Kaiju. It’s hard to drift with a machine and not get a little bit of insight on how it works, but both the Hansens have now mastered the skill to translate whatever the two scientists -Gottlieb is more confusing than Geiszler, but somewhat less annoying- are trying to say. Because of this, it’s occasionally like having inside information when Chuck has actually understood what Gottlieb is prattling on about at the moment. It’s not that people in the dome are stupid really, but they all have their own professions and specialties that don’t include speaking mathematician.

But one thing Gottlieb has gotten across to everyone in LOCCENT - theres going to be a double attack. It puts an edge on all of the pilots as well as the maintenance crews, each individual inside of the dome doing everything like it’s going to be the last step they take. The Russians have started cranking up their music a little louder whenever they can get away with it, curling together and talking in low voices like they don’t think they’ll ever see each other again. The Wei triplets seem less dismal about the upcoming double-attack, if anything they’ve become more chatty. 

Chuck isn’t that worried, the only thing that could go wrong right now is if Pentecost still somehow allows Gipsy Danger to flank him when he nukes the bridge, which no one really expects anyway considering they couldn’t even complete a drill. But that doesn’t stop him from getting antsy every now and then, pushing aside parts of his designated schedule to get more time training with anyone who was still awake. Shaking muscles meant he was doing something right whenever Chuck moved, his arms were constantly tired now from his practicing with the staff. The scabs on his knuckles were itchy now, and still stung whenever he threw a punch, but it each time he got that little spike of pain he was reminded how Raleigh looked pinned under him, garbling on his own blood, and whatever irritation he had at the scabs on his knuckles was instantly replaced with satisfaction. 

The end of the week, that’s when the double-attack is calculated to happen; that’s when Chuck plans to kick some Kaiju ass. Until then, he spends almost all of his time in the Cafeteria and on the mats, only taking quick two-hour periods of time to pass out and wake up again. His body should be exhausted, he knows, but he’s wired from the lack of sleep and near-constant adrenalin from the fights. He’s started organizing three-on-one matches, which isn’t hard considering how many people seem to collectively dislike him. The next time he see’s Raleigh is the day after they had sat together in front of Striker Eureka, and Chuck is laying on his back on the floor, his staff loosely clenched between his fingers.  
‘’Mako told me you’d be here.’’ Chuck doesn’t start this time when he hears the American accent, which is slowly becoming a familiar in his life. He still dislikes Raleigh, and he still thinks the guy would be useless in the field, but he no longer has the ability to mark Raleigh up as a threat and so he’s become low on Chuck’s list. 

‘’That’s nice.’’ Chuck says, his breath still coming out raggedly from the last fight. He’d taken on the Wei triplets, which, in hindsight, hadn’t been a good idea, they’d been too fluent, moving with each other and flanking him faster than he had expected. The other teams of three that had fought with him hadn’t drifted together, they had been just disorganized enough for Chuck to be the victor. He wonders what else Mako told Raleigh about him, before shaking the idea off. 

Raleigh’s face comes into view, hovering over him for a moment before his hand also comes into view, offering to help him up. Two days ago Chuck would have shifted his body weight onto his arms and jumped up himself, rolling his body to come face-to-face with Raleigh, but two days ago he wasn’t exhausted and maybe starting to accept the fact that Raleigh was going to be in the dome for a while, at least until Pentecost figured out what to do with him. Chuck accepts the hand, but he grazes the tips of his fingers over the still-red splotches on Raleigh’s knuckles where his skin was scabbed as the American lifts him up, making Raleigh wince slightly. At least he had the decency not to vocalize his pain though, Chuck thinks he might have just found another spark of respect for Raleigh; the bar is climbing, and Chuck tries not to think about how close he is to actually accepting Raleigh as another sentient human being. 

‘’How long have you been here?” The question throws Chuck off guard slightly. He’d literally been raised in the Sydney shatterdome, his father and uncle working as Jaeger pilot and co-pilot while he was left to learn anything he could from wandering around the dome. 

‘’Six years.’’ He answers after a pause that mostly consisted of Chuck staring at Raleigh like he’d grown a second head, but as soon as the words come out Raleigh laughs laughs and shakes his head. It makes Chuck want to pick another fight with him, but he know’s that Raleigh would probably win this time. 

‘’I mean how long have you been training, asshole.’’ The words come out with a grin that distracts Chuck for a second. Not a lot of people grinned at him anymore, even Mako had mostly lost her patience for him. He’d worked through the ranks because he was headstrong and impulsive, not because he’d been a smooth-talker; and it was no wonder people disliked him, nobody liked being outdone. Chuck spaces for a moment, and when he finally tunes back into the present he know’s he’s been staring at Raleigh’s mouth even less subtly than Mako, which makes him flush slightly.

‘’Uh- does it matter?” Raleigh purses his lips and Chuck mentally cheers himself on for getting a disapproving look out of Raleigh. ‘’You wanna spar?” Oh, that’s what he meant. Chuck doesn’t think it’s really a question, and he know’s he’ll look like a pussy if he backs out now, but he’s exhausted from getting his ass beaten into the ground by the triplets. ‘’Only if by spar you mean beat the living shit out of each other.’’ Chuck finally agrees, and Raleigh’s face fucking lights up like a kid on christmas morning. It’s pathetic is what it is, and also kind of nice to know that the feeling is mutual. 

Sucking in a breath, Chuck raises his hands up to guard his face and Raleigh does the same, each of them stepping carefully into the center of the mat. Chuck’s already sweating from the last fight, but Raleigh looks fresh out of the shower, despite his dirty training-uniform that everyone is supposed to wear -a white tank top and dark sweatpants- that probably haven’t been washed since he got here. They circle each other, which sounds like some sort of action movie cliche, but Chuck has yet to really get a feel for how Raleigh fights, and he needs some time to catch his breath.

Raleigh steps forward first, feinting a move to the right before darting left and swinging a cross punch. Chuck doesn’t fall for the feint, it’s a standard move that everyone is taught to use too much during sparring because it works -worked- on the Kaiju, instead meeting Raleigh step for step and getting in a punch to Raleigh’s side, forcing his body weight to shift from his front foot to his back. Chuck’s arm is so heavy that he feels like a Mark II Jaeger, slow moving and overheating way to quickly, but he presses on, taking advantage of the leverage he has over Raleigh and grabbing the American’s shoulders, pulling Raleigh’s chest down to connect with Chuck’s bent knee. Suck it he thinks, but he’s panting and completely unable to keep inhaling enough oxygen to actually vocalize his witty and dashing one-liners.

It’s obvious Raleigh’s struggling for air but he straightens up anyway, fluidly punching Chuck’s stomach and then his shoulder and his jaw, arms moving faster than Chuck can force his arms to block. It’s a seamless routine that leaves the Australian with spikes of pain until he’s nearly doubled over; he’s trained for much worse pain though, the electric shocks in a Jaeger that are made to leave no marks or lasting damage have hurt Chuck far more than a few punches. Just as Raleigh comes in for a finishing shot Chuck steps forward at curls right up against his back, grabbing his shoulder and the waistband of his pants, hoisting him up and flipping Raleigh heavily onto the mat.

It’s an easy move that Chuck learned when he was small enough that almost any move from an opponent was a finishing shot, back when his uncle had teased him about his glass jaw. Raleigh’s back slams with a thud into the mat and Chuck doesn’t waste a second sliding into place over Raleigh’s hips and curling his fingers around the American’s neck, just enough to slowly cut off his oxygen until he has to surrender. Raleigh kicks his legs a few times, uselessly trying to displace Chuck before finally stilling; but he continues to hold Chuck’s eye, keeping eye contact as his face begins to turn red. Chuck lets go after a few more seconds of watching Raleigh struggle against the grip that’s around his neck -it is a nice sight- and he sits back, to tired to actually get off of Raleigh’s stomach as Raleigh gasps for air, sucking in huge lungfuls for at least two full minutes before his breathing starts to even out.

There are red marks on Raleigh’s neck from Chuck’s fingers, and he has to work not to stare at them, especially when the older man lets his head thunk back against the mats, displaying the thin red lines that perfectly match on either side of his neck, white around the edges from Chuck’s grip. Reasonably Chuck know’s they need to stop fighting like this before one of them gets a broken bone, it wouldn't do to have a Jaeger-pilot down right before the end of the world, after all; but Chuck hasn’t stopped rubbing the bruises on his face, and he likes how Raleigh looks with purple marks littered over him, and he likes the fighting.

Not just because of how evenly matched he and Raleigh are, but there's something rewarding about getting into the other man's personal space that makes it irresistible to stay away. Chuck slumps, letting his chin drop onto his chest and breathing out a shaky breath. After he’s caught his breath Raleigh starts squirming under him, and Chuck instantly makes it into a game of how much effort the American is actually going to put into throwing him. Raleigh seems to catch on that Chuck isn’t moving and he lifts his head up just enough to frown at him, but Chuck only grins back, tonguing the cut on the inside of his cheek that Raleigh had given him two days ago.

‘’Get the fuck off me.’’ Raleigh says with a groan, obviously still a little out of breath from being strangled, and this time Chuck is positive that Raleigh’s cheeks are flushed a red that definitely wasn’t from lack of air.

‘’Or what?” Chuck asks, and bounces up and down slightly, which elicits another groan of frustration from the American, which he takes as a white flag. Standing up shakily, Chuck steps off of the mats and grabs his boots from where they had been pushed into the corner a few hours ago before plopping down on the dark tile floor that surrounds the training area and pulling on his socks. In front of him Raleigh finally sits up, shaking his head back and forth like he’d just taken a shot before standing up as well.

‘’Same time next week?” He asks in what sounds suspiciously like a teasing tone, and Chuck does his best not to mention that next week they could all be dead.

‘’Uh-huh.’’ he grunts without looking up, wishing that Raleigh would leave so Chuck would stop getting so close to him. He didn’t want this tool as a friend, so why was Raleigh fighting so bad to push his way into his life? Once he has his socks on he grabs one of the metal-shinned boots that match his fathers and starts to tug it on, internal struggle moving on. Maybe Raleigh wasn’t trying to shove himself into Chuck’s life at all, maybe the Australian was just making it all up in his head because he was overthinking it. Bare feet patter on the tile floor and Chuck takes it that Raleigh’s left the training area, and grabs for his other boot. He’ll head to the cafeteria and then hunt down Mako to see what’s up once he’s got his breath back. Until he finds Mako, he’ll focus on anything other that Raleigh Becket. ‘’Fuck Raleigh.’’ He says, just a little bit louder than necessary in order to prove to himself that yup, he’s going to stop thinking about him right-

‘’I think it’d be the other way around.’’

dammit. 

Raleigh’s just outside of the training area, one hand clutching at the metal frame that Chuck would call a doorframe if there was actually a door there anymore, poking his head back inside as if he just hadn’t been able to resist commenting when he’d heard Chuck’s exclamation, with a little smirk on his face like he’s just said something really clever.

‘’What are you, thirty? Stop acting like a high schooler.’’ Chuck sneers at him, hoping that he can distract from the fact he’d been talking to himself about Raleigh by irritating the man into -not into another fight, Chuck barely managed win the last one- leaving him alone for a while longer. 

‘’I’m twenty-seven, actually.’’ Raleigh huffs, and Chuck inwardly grins; mission distract Ray success.

‘’So I was right on mark then, huh?” Chuck flashes Raleigh the most sarcastically day-brightening grin he can manage with the stiffness in his face, which gets a frown out of the older man. It's impossible not to feel pride in how quickly he's been able to throw Raleigh off track.

‘’And you’re barely legal to drink.’’ He says as if that’s a bad thing, which it would be if Chuck hadn’t grown up in the asshole of Australia surrounded by middle-aged soldiers who had so much baggage that the only thing they could say with a straight face was ‘one more drink won’t hurt’. He’d been drinking since he was barely sixteen, suddenly being able to buy it for himself didn’t make a difference. Raleigh stops being a creep and leaning into the training room, but instead of leaving the conversation at that and wandering off to do whatever he normally did when he wasn’t in Chuck’s immediate line of sight the American moves back into the room, his bare feet barely making any noise against the floor.

‘’Yes, I am twenty-one, good job Ray, you read my file.’’ Chuck says, straightening up as Raleigh moves closer.

‘’It’s Raleigh.’’

Rolling his eyes, Chuck repeats what he’d said the first time they met when Raleigh had been similarly stubborn. "Whatever.’’ Unlike the first time they met, this time Raleigh laughs in a way that makes Chuck stomach hurt.

‘’Stop laughing at everything I say, i was being rude.’’ He snaps, and stands up so that he’s eye-level with Raleigh, who still has creases at the corners of his mouth from smiling, his lips pressed into a thin line like he’s trying to suppress his laughter. Chuck scoffs at him, stepping past him and purposely knocking into Raleigh’s shoulder as hard as he can, which doesn’t manage to displace his footing but he does grunt slightly, barely audible before the Australian is out of the room, legs carrying him stiffly and awkwardly to the cafeteria where he plans to eat as much jell-o as he can get before coming back to work out more when he doesn’t have an adorable American hovering over him. 

It’s oh-eight hundred hours as Chuck sidles into the cafeteria, doing his best not to look like his muscles are as stiff and tired as they really are as he picks up a tray and methodically collects as much of the pale blue jell-o as he can before he begins to get odd looks and moves back to his the table where he and his father always sit, where Herc is already bent over his own food, and Max on the floor next to Herc’s feet. As he gets closer Chuck can see that Mako’s sitting with his father, subtly handing Max scraps, and he narrows his eyes when he realizes that on top of her usual prim clothes, she has on a bulky leather jacket with sleeves that fall down over her palms.

He doesn’t greet either of them as he slides into place, looking between them carefully before slowly ripping the plastic encasing around his fork off with his teeth and setting to eating his jell-o as suspiciously as someone can actually eat jell-o. After a few minutes of silence, Chuck can stand it anymore and huffs out an exasperated breath like his father and Mako have dragged him through great lengths.

‘’Ok, what’s up with the new threads?” He asks Mako, and she seems to think this is the wrong question he should be asking, making Chuck feel even more bewildered than he had before, and then his eyes fall on the patches on the jacket, which at least explains some. They’re Gipsy Dangers insignia and title, as well as a name which Chuck assumed was Mako’s when he first saw it but now he realizes that it reads ‘Becket’ which makes him shift and frown as his stomach twists slightly. Herc finally speaks up, ignoring Mako’s gift from her boyfriend -not- and addressing something that Chuck wants to talk about even less.

‘’Are you okay, kid?” fine time to start acting like my father Chuck thinks, stabbing a glob of shivering jell-o and shoving it in his mouth to give him an excuse to not answer for a few more seconds, irritated with himself for making this into more of a problem than Herc probably meant for it to be. ‘’You actually challenged the Wei triplets to a no-ref fight.’’ Word really gets around doesn’t it? Chuck only feels a small pang of regret for the actual concern in his fathers eyes.

‘’It’s good for me too loose a fight every now and then.’’ Chuck says with a shrug, stabbing another piece of jell-o and praying that Herc will just swallow the lie until the next time they drift so they don’t have to talk about it. He’s nervous as fuck is the truth, but Chuck doesn’t want to be forced to admit that out loud. He know’s that he’s got Cherno Alpha and Crimson Typhoon on his back, but carrying a nuke so deep underwater.. Chuck isn’t that stupid, the pressures down there are the reason why something like the Bridge could go unnoticed for so long; practically nobody went down they’re without years of tests and calculations. He know’s the eggheads have done the math, but that doesn’t make it any less foreign. Herc, as smart as he is, doesn’t pick up on Chuck’s silent plea to not have to suddenly voice his feelings after years of being taught to suck it up.

‘’Chuck, you’re eating five cups of jell-o and you’re face looks like it got run over.’’ Chuck says. Ah brutal honesty, my old friend; Chuck thinks grumpily to himself, causing another Jell-o death by stabbing it with his plastic fork and eating it.

Mako seems to sense the change at the same time Chuck does and she silently slides out from her seat next to Herc, grabbing her tray and dumping the leftover contents into a waste bin before placing it on the rack to be cleaned before making her escape; making Chuck wish he could do the same; Stab, Stab, Stab. More Jell-o deaths occur.

‘’It’s really not a great time for you to suddenly realize you’re my father.’’ He says, somehow managing an even tone despite that concerned look in Herc’s eyes was long-gone and had been replaced with something that Chuck recognizes as that distant look of disapproval that he never seems to catch a break from. The elder Hansen straightens up as if Chuck has physically hit him, and it makes that edge of guilt creep back into Chuck’s stomach, settling with that uneasy feeling he’d gotten when he’d seen Mako wearing Ray’s jacket.

‘’Chuck-’’ Herc starts, but is cut off when Chuck stands up, not wanting to have this conversation again. It’s been a recurring theme, whenever he snaps and calls his father out on the mans bullshit that Herc will act like he’s been trying his best and it’s Chuck who’s being needy, unknowingly guilt tripping the younger Hansen until he’s subdued enough to agree with whatever they were arguing about in the first place. So this time he stands up, ignoring whatever else his father has to say and bending and untying Max’s leash from the table leg and breezing out of the cafeteria, doing his best to keep himself composed until he makes it down the hall, turning and running straight into someone.

‘’Watch where you’re fucking going you pathetic excuse for a-’’ Chuck is practically shouting until he’s interrupted by a quiet, much more composed voice that makes him want to drop Max’s leash and throw another punch; his physical fatigue overwhelmed by adrenaline.

‘’Are you okay, Chuck?” Of course it’s Raleigh, because nowadays Chuck can’t seem to turn around without practically tripping over the guy. Strong hands grip his shoulders and steady him like Chuck might actually fall down after running into him -as if Raleigh was the more sure-footed between them- and Chuck almost loses it all over again, entirely too wound up to deal with the American.

‘’I’d be a lot -fucking- better if I didn’t have to see you’re washed-up ass again.’’ He growls and bends down to scoop up Max, making what he thinks is an easy escape back to his quarters until he realizes that instead of being offended and skulking away the bastard was following him, matching his pace and shooting him worried looks.

‘’I said get out of my hair, asshole.” Chuck barks, not sparing Raleigh a glance as he continues to stalk towards his quarters, thinking that if he can just get there without breaking down and shouting at anyone who looks at him for too long than he can slam the door in Raleigh’s face -maybe that will be enough of a hint for him- and finally get some peace and quiet. Raleigh somehow isn’t deterred though, stepping in front of Chuck and blocking his path, causing the Australian to come to such an abrupt halt that Max struggles against his arms, worried that Chuck might drop him.

‘’What’s up?” He says, his voice demanding despite his casual words. Chuck plops Max down on the ground, holding onto the bulldogs leash with such a tight fist that his blunt nails dig into his palm painfully. 

‘’I swear to fuck Ray get out of my way before i tear you a new one.’’ He says, his voice coming out quiet and low in his anxiousness not to continue shouting. Raleigh, predictably, doesn’t get out of chuck’s way, but instead grabs his wrist and pulls him down the hall, opposite of the direction Chuck had been trying to go. Max has to trot to keep up with them as Raleigh relentlessly pulls Chuck along behind him, ignoring the way the Australian keeps yanking his arm to try to break free -he’s not trying that hard, just enough for Raleigh to get the idea that he’s not happy about how this is going- and the washed-up war hero doesn’t falter.

The halls are still relatively empty, the only people still methodically moving around being the mechanics who are still busting their asses to upgrade and oil all the remaining Jaegers for the next attack; which Chuck is somewhat thankful for considering that he’s shaking from anger and exhaustion and doesn’t really want a lot of people to witness him being dragged towards god knew where. Eventually they end up on the opposite end of the long hallway that holds the Rangers quarters, and Chuck guesses that Raleigh just took a different route to get there, but long before they reach his own quarters Raleigh stops and lets go of Chuck’s wrist, grabbing onto the front of his shirt before Chuck starts to try to make an escape. Punching in his own code Raleigh unlocks the door and shoves open the door, giving Chuck just enough time to realize that these are probably his quarters before he drags Chuck inside, barely giving Max enough time to jump into the room before he closes the door before Raleigh swings around to face Chuck.

‘’What the fuck is this?” Chuck says, his voice just below a shout as he glares at Raleigh, who seems to not have considered the strangeness of dragging Chuck into his room and closing the door.

‘’You tell me.’’ Raleigh responds smoothly, crossing his arms - damn awkward action-movie one-liners Chuck thinks distractedly for a moment before focusing on Raleigh, running a hand through his clipped blond hair and exhaling slowly through his nose.

‘’Why do you care?” He says for what seems like the millionth time, instinctively sitting down on the edge of the bed that looks exactly like his own, minus the neatly flattened sheets and arranged pillows. Max takes a running jump and curls up next to him, leaning into his side to prompt Chuck to pet him.

‘’Why shouldn’t I? Chuck, we’re not co-pilots, but we are on the same team here.’’ Raleigh seems intent on sounding like the main lead on a shitty action movie from 2015, but Chuck ignores that in hopes that if he starts talking he’ll be able to go wallow under the luke-warm water of his shower sooner.

‘’Whenever Her- my dad gets too.. much,’’ Chuck stutters out, looking down at Raleigh’s feet and trying to put together a reasonably grammatically correct sentence. ‘’Whenever he randomly starts to pretend like he’s really concerned about me, it gets kinda stressful y’know? Because we aren’t really that close.’’ He huffs, understatement of the century ‘’I mean, we probably wouldn’t be on speaking terms now if we didn’t have to drift regularly.’’ Chuck can feel Raleigh’s eyes on him, and he continues to steadily glare at the older man’s boots. ‘’But, sometimes when I get too impatient with him he’ll recount his whole life story about how it’s my fault that my mom died, because he could only choose one of us when Trespasser landed, and..’’ Chuck inhales, wondering why he’s even telling Raleigh about this. If he needed to talk to someone he should have talked to Mako, or Max, or anyone other than Raleigh fucking Becket. ‘’It just gets kinda heavy sometime, when you grow up thinking that you basically killed your mom?” He shakes his head. ‘’I guess I kinda overreacted about it, but sometimes i just don’t want to bother with his bullshit anymore.’’

Raleigh’s boots move out of Chuck’s line of sight and a second later the bed dips, and Max -the traitor- crawls into Raleigh’s lap, flopping down on his stomach and pushing his head down into the American’s stomach. ‘’Whether or not.. He thinks so,’’ Raleigh starts to talk, slowly like he’s picking every word carefully. ‘’Herc made the right choice. He saved the kid who became a Jaeger pilot and protected the world from what, ten Kaiju’s now?” Raleigh drapes one arm over Max and the other comes up to rub the dog’s head absently.

‘’Kaiju.’’ The correction comes out automatically and Chuck feels like a little bit of a dick for completely ignoring the comfort behind Raleigh’s words to correct his grammar.

‘’What?” Raleigh asks, glancing up from where he had been smiling down at Max, his eyebrows drawing together in confusion as he looks up at Chuck.

‘’The plural of Kaiju isn't ‘Kaijus’, dude, it ain’t an English word.’’ Chuck snorts; for someone who stirred up so much buzz around the dome, Raleigh still had a bit to learn. Or maybe the blond just didn’t care about the grammar in K-science. Chuck finally manages to get the nerve up to stop staring at the floor, and he’s surprised that he actually feels calmer than he had storming down the halls a few minutes before; when he looks up he has to immediately fight the urge to glance away when he finds Raleigh already staring at him. But instead of suffering through eye-contact Chuck’s eyes dip to stare at the bruising just below Raleigh’s jaw, faint marks from where Chuck’s index fingers and thumbs had crossed over his neck on either side. A moment later Chuck’s view of the marks is obscured when Raleigh tugs to collar of his jacket over the marks, forcing Chuck to look back up at him.

‘’Are you okay?” Raleigh asks again, and for some reason it’s less infuriating than when he had asked before, but Chuck doesn’t show it, instead rolling his eyes and giving the older man a sarcastic look.

‘’There are giant aliens attacking earth, guess.’’ He says, and Raleigh looks mildly irritated by the answer, but he takes it in stride, apparently too intent on staring at Chuck in a way that makes the Australian shift slightly, uncomfortable under the attention, and he’s about to look away when Raleigh pauses in petting Max and reaches up to hesitantly brush his hand over Chuck’s cheek and forcing him to look back at him, eliciting a garbled sound from Chuck as he chokes on his own breath out of surprise. Max, losing interest in Raleigh quickly after the jockey stops petting him, jumps onto the floor and lays back down, facing the door as if to guard the room, but neither of the people on the bed acknowledge the change.

Chuck feels like he might be paralyzed, torn between being confused and resentful that Raleigh would actually make a move on him, but before he manages to pull himself together and punch Raleigh in the face for being so stupid the American leans forward on the bed and kisses him carefully. It’s painfully obvious that Raleigh isn’t too sure of himself, the kiss is just a dry press of his lips against Chuck’s before Raleigh’s pulling away, dropping his hand from Chuck’s cheek as if he’s been burned. Now it’s Raleigh’s turn to stare at the floor, and Chuck can feel himself openly gawking at the older man but he can’t build up the motivation to stop.

‘’..Ray?” He finally manages after a few attempts that only resulted in him opening and closing his mouth useless. Raleigh looks up at him and Chuck is delighted to find that the American is blushing something awful, his cheeks and ears almost bright red, and Chuck -now that the idea seems to be an option- wants to lean forward and kiss the flushed skin. But that seems more like something that would be expected in high school so Chuck doesn’t, instead leaning forward to place a slightly less hesitant kiss on Raleigh’s lips, which the pilot seems to take as encouragement and quickly leans into it, cradling the back of Chuck’s head with one hand while he continues to press into the kiss.

It feels awkward to Chuck as Raleigh pushes him back gently against the bed so he’s laying on his back, but he definitely likes the feeling of Raleigh’s weight settling over him when the older man straddles his hips before leaning back down to kiss him again, this time licking and biting at his bottom lip and yeah, Chuck definitely has a thing for pain now, whether he did before or not. He groans into Raleigh’s mouth, causing the older man to pull back slightly, the corners of his eyes crinkling as he smiles down at Chuck.

‘’Eager, much?” and Chuck sneers at him before wrapping an arm around Raleigh’s neck and pulling him back down for more kissing to avoid having to go explain that he hadn’t really had time to get used to sex or even kissing considering that the world started ending about the time he started jacking off. Raleigh is a good kisser, which wouldn’t surprise Chuck if he thought about it, but there hadn’t been time to think about it until Raleigh started easing his tongue over Chuck’s lips again, and this time Chuck does his best to keep quiet, instead wrapping his arms around Raleigh’s waist as the blonde pushes his tongue inside of his mouth, making Chuck’s toes curl in his boots like he was in grade school before he gets used to the feeling of Raleigh’s tongue in his mouth. After he adjusts Chuck decides that he likes it though, Raleigh tastes like strong coffee, and even though Chuck’s never liked coffee that didn’t have disgusting amounts of cream and sugar in it, he doesn’t mind the taste of it when it’s coming from the older man. 

Chuck gets three minutes like that, pressed into Raleigh’s bed with the American on top of him, only pausing every now and then for breathless laughter before there’s a knock on Raleigh’s door that causes the older man to jolt up right, sucking in a guilty breath before he stands up and starts making violent hand-motions for Chuck to do the same, silently shoo-ing the Australian into the connecting bathroom. He’s about to open the door when Chuck remembers Max, who’s sitting up now and staring at the door.

‘’Raleigh!’’ he hisses as a sort of warning, and darts back out of the bathroom to scoop up Max as quietly as he can before running back into the bathroom and flattening himself against the wall out of sight from the door. After a brief second of Raleigh catching his breath and running a hand through his hair where Chuck had left it sticking up in tufts, Raleigh yanks open the door, and Chuck hears him say ‘’Yeah?” in such a casual tone that even he would have thought the man had just been about to lay down and go to sleep.

He hears an indistinct mumur which Chuck mentally marks down as Mako -no one else in that shatterdome know’s what quiet means- and he hears a faint shuffling noise before Raleigh starts talking again. ‘’I -uh- I passed him in the hallway from the cafeteria, he looked kinda pissed actually.’’ Chuck squeezes his eyes shut, wondering why everyone had to care about him at the most inconvenient times, but this time he can pick up on a few of Mako’s words when she talks. ‘’...rried, his father....didn’t react well...okay?’’ Chuck wrinkles his nose, wishing he could hear her better but not daring to creep closer, instead placing a hand over Max’s snout to keep him from barking or sniffling too loudly.

‘’Hey, i don’t know Chuck that well but he seems pretty tough, y’know?” Raleigh’s voice seems too loud and Chuck wonders if it’s a warning or if he’s just as apprehensive as Chuck is about getting caught. More painful high school cliches Chuck thinks with more than a hint of exasperation. If Mako was looking for him though, than Chuck would have to haul his ass and get out of there as soon as she was far enough away not to see. Had she already tried his room? Where could he pretend he’d been? he briefly considers telling her the truth before tossing the thought out the window with a mental laughtrack. There’s another murmur of Mako’s fluent, slightly accented words that Chuck has always thought was cute and he hears Raleigh laugh -real laughter, not the sarcastic laughs that Raleigh is so practiced with- and for a moment Chuck can feel jealousy creeping up in him, and he has to remind himself that until ten minutes ago he hadn’t even figured out that he liked the guy, and at least Mako could be nice to Raleigh.

Oh. Chuck puts together Mako’s crush on Raleigh with his own apparent crush, and wonders if Raleigh’s kissed Mako before. He could have, and Chuck would never know - after all at some point she began wearing his jacket that she clearly hadn’t stolen - and Chuck hates how much it bothers him when he thinks about that. He would probably never mentally be capable of asking either of them about it, so Chuck mentally tries to resign himself to having to keep the kissing to a minimum and the feelings towards Raleigh little to nothing if he could.

‘’Listen, i was gonna get in the shower, but i’ll tell you if I run into him before you do alright?” Raleigh’s voice pierces through Chuck’s mental breakdown, and he can practically feel Mako’s blush. ‘’Okay, thank you Raleigh.’’ she says just loud enough for Chuck to hear in her clear, adorably honest voice. The metal door closes and Chuck closes his eyes, sucking in two large breaths before setting Max down on the floor and running his hands through his hair, counting to three before he walks out of the bathroom. Raleigh is back into panic mode, eye’s just a little bit wider than they should be; Chuck hopes Mako hadn’t noticed that, she was too observant not to figure something was up with a hint like that.

‘’That was close.’’ Raleigh breaths, tugging Chuck into a quick kiss that makes the Australian stumble slightly before he’s able to slow down and enjoy the feeling of Raleigh’s lips on his own. ‘’Ok, she said she ditched you with your dad and a few minutes later you left, Chuck, she was real worried about you.’’ Raleigh says, pulling away from Chuck slightly but keeping his hands in Chuck’s hair, smoothing it out methodically. ‘’She basically thinks that you took Max for a walk or something like that, and I didn’t correct her.’’ Chuck sags slightly with relief at that, he’d been thinking he’d have to climb through the ventilation to find her and tell her that he was okay, but Raleigh clearly has other plans.

‘’I was serious about taking a shower you know.’’ he says, giving Chuck a look that makes him want to either jump the older man or hide his face in that idiotic sweater that Raleigh seemed intent on wearing. Somehow, Chuck manages to scale a reasonable response, placing another quick kiss on Raleigh’s lips, which are now slightly red thanks to Chuck’s teeth.

‘’I can’t.’’ He says, and Raleigh immediately flushes again, and Chuck verbally trips over himself trying to soothe him. ‘’Don’t be a fucking idiot, I meant not now.’’ He looks around for Max for a moment before stooping to pick up the dogs leash, straightening out his shirt. ‘’If Mako thinks i’m outside the dome then sooner or later I’m gonna get a lecture from Pentecost for leaving while i’m on-duty.’’ He explains, and Raleigh -while still managing to look disappointed- nods in understanding. Checking through the peep-hole in Raleigh’s door Chuck waits until he’s sure no-one is in the hallway before he tugs open the door, slipping through and shutting it quietly, Max padding along behind him.

It’s not like no-one can ever see him walking about of Raleigh’s room, but he’s positive that if anyone saw him right now his brain would completely fail to generate any sort of excuse for being in the Jaeger Pilots room. Max trails along happily beside him as Chuck makes his way across the hallway, right up to Mako’s door. With luck she wouldn’t be here, she would have been able to see Chuck exiting Raleigh’s room without his knowledge, but when he knocks on the door she opens it almost a minute later, one earbud in her ear and the other in her hand, looking a little bit irritable until she registers who he is. She frowns at him, taking out the other earbud and crossing her arms over her chest.

‘’Why didn’t you come find me?” She demands, and Chuck is reminded that despite their ups and downs, he and Mako have grown tight over the years of being forced together.

‘’I needed to cool off.’’ I needed Raleigh, apparently he mimics her tight frown until she realizes what he’s doing, at which point her eyes widen slightly and she uncrosses her arms to slap him on the side of his head.

‘’You are a child.’’ She huffs, but stands back gestures for him to come in, which is much less painful than when Raleigh had dragged him into his own quarters. She closes her door carefully once Max has gotten safely inside before turning to look at him, taking her iPod out of her pocket and shutting off her music before tossing the device on her bed and plopping down on her floor, looking at Chuck expectantly until he rolls his eyes and sits down on the floor as well. Max follows suit, but ignores both Mako and Chuck to jump up on Mako’s bed, curling up on top of her iPod and sniffing casually before resting his head on his paws.

When Chuck was first transferred Mako had been overjoyed that there was someone her own age, and the feeling had been mutual. That hadn’t stopped them from getting under each others skin at first, but they had fallen into a steady rhythm. They used to sit like this often, spread out on her floor and talk about everything under the stars; it ranged from their lasting memories of their parents to Kaiju to new concept designs for the newest Mark Jaeger. Now, grown up and facing the end of the world, Chuck found himself in the exact same position.

‘’What did your father say?”

Chuck shakes his head, giving her a lazy smile before slumping down to lay on his side on her floor, cradling his head in his arm. ‘’He didn’t get the chance, i blew up at him before he could start.’’ He says, and he isn’t sure if it’s relief or exasperation in Mako’s eyes. He’s already gone over this with Raleigh, and the whole thing seems silly. He’s twenty one, twenty two in august; at some point he feels like he needs to be able to find a way to deal with his father better. When he was younger, he’d always assumed that they’d be separated by the Kaiju or by the Jaeger program long before Chuck was old enough to have to deal with Herc Hansen and still attempt to remain professional.

‘’You shouldn’t rely on the drift so much to communicate with him.’’ Mako says after a long pause, and Chuck snorts.

‘’You should tell him that.’’ he says, but he know’s she’s somewhat right. His mind wanders to Raleigh for a moment, wondering what Raleigh thought about Mako, and what he thought about him.

‘’Have you and Raleigh had,’’ Chuck pauses for a moment just for dramatic effect before he continues; ‘’Sex yet?” He draws out ‘sex’ as long as his lungs will allow, trying to mask the fact that he’s actually a little bit curious, not really for details, but he wants to know what’s going on between them. He watches as Mako ducks her head, a faint blush only visible on the tips of her ears. Mako’s cute like that, because she’s totally capable of talking about sex without so much as batting an eyelash, but sometimes when it catches her off guard just enough she’ll get all embarrassed, and nobody does embarrassed like Mako Mori.

‘’First: that’s none of your business.’’ She says, and then pauses just long enough that Chuck know’s he’s going to get an answer anyway. ‘’But no, we have not. We.. We’re close, but not like that.’’ Chuck would like to be convinced by this, but he’s not that naive.

‘’Mm-hmm.’’ He says, raising both his eyebrows at her until she raises her hand again, threatening to slap him if he failed to stop. 

'’How’d you get his jacket then? did you give it to you because you looked cold?” That would be pathetic Chuck thinks vaguely, but really he just thinks the whole wooing-girls-with-clothes seems pretty stupid. Mako rolls her eyes at him, reclining against the wall and stretching out her legs so her feet rested on his hip, ankles crossed daintily.

‘’He said that if we were going to be Gipsy’s pilots, than we had to look the part.’’ She says, and huffs out a laugh like it was the cutest thing she’d ever heard. ‘’But obviously, with only eight months of funding left, jackets like they used to get were out of the question. So he gave me his.’’ The whole wooing thing suddenly made a little bit more since.

‘’What about him? I could swear i’v seen him in some nice leather skins recently.’’ He remarks, not mentioning that the last time he’d seen him in that leather coat was two minutes ago when Chuck’s fists had been clutching it to pull Raleigh closer to him.

‘’It’s Yancy’s.’’ Chuck feels dirty once Mako says that. Not that he wasn’t positive he remembered thinking Yancy was quite the catch whenever he’d seen the brothers on television back in Sydney, -he was very positive of that- but wearing something like that probably took a lot of work, to put it on every day and not think about the person who it had been made for? Impossible. Mako studies his face, and Chuck wonders if he’s as see-through as she always says he is.

‘’Have you had sex with Raleigh?” He flashes her an alarmed look, trying to figure out if she’s teasing him or not.

‘’Please.’’ He huffs, praying that she meant it jokingly. ‘’I wouldn’t touch him with a ten-foot pole.’’ He gripes, proud that his voice doesn’t waver at all. Mako laughs and rolls her eyes and the answer.

‘’Of course.’’ she says, and again, Chuck isn’t sure if she’s accepting what he said or if she’s being sarcastic. They lay on the floor in silence for a bit longer, listening to the ventilation system whirring quietly, making stray pieces of paper tap against the wall. Mako’s room is highly organized, but in a way that still manages to look chaotic and messy. The only thing in her room that looks as purposefully placed as it really is are the two red shoes that she keeps, sized for a child. He know’s the story well, baby Mako wandering the streets, trying to keep out of the way of Onibaba before Pentecost had found her. They rarely talk about their parents anymore, but now whenever they do, Chuck only talks about his father and Mako only talks about Pentecost, the others too painful to dredge up anymore.

‘’You smell terrible.’’ Mako breaks the silence, and Chuck laughs, straightening up to stand on his knees before laying down on top of her, causing her to giggle before dramatically gagging and shoving him off of her with a strength that always surprised him.

‘’Take a shower, please!’’ she huffs, and Chuck lays limp where she had put him.

‘’I’m too tired now.’’ he says, throwing her a pout, and Mako rolls her eyes, standing up and brushing herself off.

‘’You can use mine, just make yourself smell better.’’ she says, wrinkling her nose. Chuck whines, but but Mako opens up the door to her own connecting bathroom and turns on the shower water. Max looks up guiltily when she starts the water, automatically assuming that it’s for him and flattening his ears. Despite being used to tons of machinery crashing down around him and watching his owner get into fist fight on a painfully regular basis, Max the bulldog has yet to grow accustomed to taking baths. Chuck groans but stands up, frowning at her grumpily before slipping past her into the bathroom and closing the door behind him, trying not to think about how bad he had smelled while Raleigh had him pinned on his bed as he sheds his clothes and steps inside the closed off shower, under the luke-warm spray of water that made him shiver slightly.


	3. Chapter 3

Mako is playing with Max when Chuck reemerges from the bathroom, still shaking rivulets of water out of his hair in an attempt to keep it from sliding down his neck and dampening the neckline of his shirt. He and Mako had ups and downs; anyone could see that, but the ups were so nice that both of them ended up working through the rough patches no matter how long it took. ‘’I swear he likes you more than he likes me.’’ Chuck grumbles, slumping down on the bed beside her and leaning his elbows on his knees comfortably, eyes turning to watch as Mako’s pale hand mechanically rubs at Max’s ears. ‘’Why wouldn’t he?” is the answer he gets, and he quirks an eyebrow and gives her a sarcastic look, at the same time Max gets up and pads his way across the mattress around Mako to sit next to him. ‘’Because i’m amazing.’’ He hums, grinning at Max and squishing the bulldogs face with his hands. 

He feels like Mako and Raleigh are two entirely separate worlds somehow; when he thinks of Raleigh it seems like all of that happened weeks ago, and all he can see is Mako, but when he had been crouched in Raleigh’s bathroom Mako’s voice had seemed foreign and maybe a little bit unwelcome. He and Mako can rock a comfortable silence, while whenever he’s with Raleigh, there always seems to be too much to comment on or pick at, anything that he can find to set the man on edge, if even just for a few minutes. Letting out a heavy breath, Chuck rocks fluidly onto his feet and picks up Max’s leash, fiddling with the leather strap for a little bit longer than necessary. ‘’Thanks for checking up on me.’’ He says, glancing up quickly from his hands to Mako’s face before back down at his hands; ‘’You came to me.’’ Mako points out, and for a moment Chuck thinks that he’s caught, but Mako seems casual enough that it’s hard to gauge if she suspects anything of him. "Yeah." He says, trying to mimic Mako's relaxed tone and probably failing completely. She frowns at him for a moment, and Chuck opens his mouth to say something else when an alarm buzzes, indicating another change in shifts. Mako rolls her eyes and makes shooing motions towards the door, to which Chuck gladly obeys, Max following behind him as he opens the door and skirts through it. That went well, he thinks, running a hand through his still-damp hair and letting Max guide him to his fathers quarters, which are right next to his own. Chuck really doesn't want to talk to his father right now, but with luck he'll be gone so Chuck can drop Max off for a while, and he can go back to the training room. At some point someone will probably pick up that he's been ignoring the shift changes in favor of working off his nerves, but Chuck is fully aware that he is invaluable now that they're are only four -three, now that Gipsy Danger doesn't have a pilot team- Jaegers left, so Pentecost will have a hard time putting him on the bench without a hell of a better excuse than being pissed at him for not following the rules. Somewhere between Raleigh and Mako Chuck’s legs have stopped shaking, and even though his arms still feel stiff he can move them much more easily than before. He know’s he’s pushing it, risking a slower response from Striker Eureka when he can’t fight fast enough because he’s so exhausted, but he doesn’t have any other way to keep himself distracted long enough. Chuck is brought out of his thoughts by Max stopping, causing the leash to go slack in front of Herc Hansens door. Rapping on the door lightly, as if by banging harder he might tip the chances of his father actually being in his room. When there’s no response, Chuck punches in his fathers code and opens the door as quietly as he can, kneeling down in front of Max do undo his leash from the dogs collar before nudging him inside and leaving the leash just inside the door. If his father is asleep then it won’t be wise to wake him, especially considering how their last conversation had ended. Closing the door again, Chuck lets out a breath he hadn’t been intentionally holding and shoves his hands in the pockets of his loose sweatpants, fingers curling in the soft fabric. Chuck mentally entertains the idea of going back to Raleigh’s for the entirety of the time it takes for him to get back to the training area; he know’s he can’t, not only because Chuck doesn’t need to be getting attached to the man but also because he doesn’t like the idea of becoming dependent on him. 

When he gets to the training area there are three guys that Chuck can tell are a low rank from their fighting -all basic moves, none of them have branched into their own style yet- and he ignores all three of them in favor of picking up one of the light staffs and spinning it around his hand, the ends cutting through the air with wooshing noises that Chuck could never force himself to not enjoy. He works on as many combo moves as he can think of for a long time, careful to keep his feet placed firmly on the ground at all times. When Rangers are taught to fight, it’s critical for them to understand they can’t count on their footwork in a Jaeger, because in the water, the giant metal boots of the robots don’t move quickly enough. Strike, block, punch; Chuck effectively cuts off the part of his brain that continues to drift back to Raleigh, focusing on the blur of the staff in front of him. Counter, stab; eliminating his conversation with Mako is easier, as it’s a conversation they’ve both had too many times to dwell on for longer than a few minutes after it occurs. Block, rebound; finally Chuck begins the painful process of trying to cut away all the thoughts of his father that are bothering in the back of his head, struggling as he tucks the staff behind his back, snatching it up with the other hand just as quickly to begin with another frenzied routine. The problem was, Herc couldn’t seem to look at Chuck without seeing Angela. Even when he wasn’t annoyed or irritated at Chuck, he had a hard time looking past the ghosts that he still blamed himself for whenever he saw Chuck. It was painful, knowing that he could never just be Herc’s son and that he would forever be the small child who Herc Hansen had sacrificed his wife for. Once, Chuck had asked his father if Herc had wanted a child. The words had been instant, followed with a hug that felt just as strained as the response ‘of course I want you’ and Chuck hadn’t bothered to explain that wasn’t what he meant. After they’d begun to drift, Chuck had become more aware -and even accepting- that his father actually did care about him, that he still loved him despite how much he missed Angela. That hadn’t fixed everything though, which Chuck blamed on himself for being too needy to accept as good enough and too awkward to just tell his father that he needed to hear those words, without the aid of the drift to actually feel like they were real. His hand slips and the staff drops to the ground, echoing slightly as it thuds onto the mat. Chuck becomes aware that he’s already breathing hard and that he has done the exact opposite of blocking thoughts of his father out of his mind. Pursing his lips, he uses his foot to kick the staff up into the air, catching it easily and starting over, Chuck’s fingers gripping the middle of the staff to tuck part of it out of the way, along the length of his forearm while the other remains at defence. As soon as he begins to swing the staff in a wide arc, his mind falls back to his father, thinking about how much he had learned about the man when they started drifting; little things that he might have figured out from spending time with the man if he had ever bothered. Herc liked black coffee with too much sugar and no cream, because it reminded him of Angela, who had drunk her coffee the same way. Chuck also got memories from his uncle, when he and Herc had drifted together before his uncle had retired, leaving the Striker Eureka without a co-pilot. But those were always less clear, hard to understand without actively chasing the memories. What had Herc learned about Chuck while they were in the drift? Clearly not the right things, but Chuck understood that it didn’t work like that. It’s hard to think about the idea of his father in his brain, for whatever reason. Chuck has always assumed it’s because, despite having been going on for years, the idea of actually understanding someone’s thoughts through a psychic link was still fairly out there. It was the same for every team of pilots, though the drift got easier and smoother, it never became a non-event to go through someones head, carding through their memories and feelings and thoughts. Chuck uses both hands to bring down the staff with brute force, arcing it just enough that instead of hitting the floor it curves gracefully past him, making a whistling sound as it slices the air around it. Striker Eureka doesn’t have a sword, and for a moment Chuck thinks about talking to Tendo about fitting her with one like Gipsy Dangers, because he loves the way the clean weapon feels in his hands, so much more powerful and graceful than any other weapon that the Jaegers have been upgraded too. It’s not like the Kaiju take into account the amount of flare from the weapons though, so Chuck doesn’t ask to rack up the expense of having one of those gorgeous swords forged for Eureka; and anyway, with Operation Pitfall so close to being put into action, it’s pointless to begin adding more weapons. The war is almost over, and Chuck isn’t sure whether he’s glad about that or not. Of course he’s not cruel enough to want the Kaiju to continue taking over the earth until everyone is dead, no one is. But he’s going to miss the excitement and the thrill of death every time he gets suited up. It’s not that the idea of danger turns him on or anything, but he can’t help enjoying getting into fist fights on such a large scale. Working a Jaeger is the best thing that ever happened to him, and in a few days Chuck is acutely aware he will never step inside a Jaeger again. His grip slips again, and this time the staff goes flying to the opposite side of the room, nearly hitting one of the cadets in the head. Two of them immediately go on the offense, one yelling ‘’C’mon, man!’’ and the other swearing colorfully under his breath. The one who had been hit stoops down to pick up the staff, a scowl clear on his face. Chuck doesn’t bother apologizing, just treads over the mats and holds out a hand for his staff. He isn’t interested in whatever these men feel like they have to say -he didn’t hit the guy, all of them are still fine- but his resignation towards the situation seems to only enrage the man further. He’s got a dark crew cut like he’d just gotten fresh out of the army, and his face is flushed from fighting. ‘’Watch your step, kid.’’ The guy says, and Chuck throws any idea of being polite out the window. ‘’I couldn’t give two shits about your threats. So give me back my staff and i’ll leave you alone.’’ Still scowling, the man holds out Chuck’s staff, knocking the end of it into the Australian’s stomach as he does so. Chuck wouldn’t tell anyone that he has a short temper, but it’s a well known fact among the dome that he doesn’t deal well with idiots. Sneering, Chuck grabs the staff and yanks it out of the man’s grip, dropping it onto the floor before taking two quick steps forward and pushing the man back against the wall, bracing his forearm against the dark-haired man’s neck. Chuck gets right up in his face, not bothering to loosen his grip over the man’s wind-pipe as he does so. The two guys behind him openly gawk, clearly not making a move to help their friend. ‘’If you ever, ever so much as touch me again, we’re gonna have problems.’’ he hisses, watching as the already red-faced man gets a little bit redder. ‘’Got it?” The man seems unwilling to respond, not wanting to have to verbally back down, but one of his friends finally makes a move, being careful not to get to close as if Chuck is a feral dog. ‘’Woah, dude,’’ he drawls in a southern accent that makes Chuck’s teeth hurt, ‘’You've already got him pinned by the neck, he ain’t gonna mess with you no more.’’ Chuck glances away from the mans face -which is slowly growing purple- and sizes up the southerner before pulling away, letting the man drop to the floor, his legs apparently not strong enough to keep him up. ‘’Make sure he doesn’t.’’ he growls, not sparing the group another glance as he picks up his staff, suddenly irritated again and Chuck decides that he needs more sleep, because even Chuck Hansen doesn’t get pissed off about something as small as this so quickly.

He has a bad grip on being self-aware, and it’s almost sad how many accounts he’s had of driving himself to exhaustion or getting sick without putting all of the ‘hints’ together; and Chuck is very bad at actually figuring out when something is wrong without it being shoved in his face, so he sticks the staff in the corner with a few others and leaves the training room, scrubbing his hands over his face and trying his best to slow his heart rate. Chuck’s legs carry him automatically; all shatterdomes are built the same way, as there was no time to plan out different models of the same damn building to be scattered over the world. Hong-Kong’s dome had the exact same floor plan as the one in Sydney that he’d grown up in. Everything seems like a well beaten path by now, and Chuck is grateful as he retreats back to the Rangers Quarters. When he gets back to his room Chuck forgoes all formalities, shucking off his sweaty work-out clothes and leaving them in a pile on the floor, crawling into bed without a word and pressing his face into his pillow, fully prepared to pass out within seconds. Of course, once he actually wanted to sleep Chuck’s mind refused to shut off properly, and instead he was left staring at the wall opposite to him with eyes that took too much effort to keep closed. Chuck was good at sleeping; he could sleep anywhere and was just awake enough at all times to be alert whenever he eventually did get pulled out of sleep. He’d learned out to take five minute naps when they were hard pressed and he was short on sleep, as long as he had his back against something he could go to sleep anywhere -even standing up- but that didn’t mean he was excluded from the neural load of dealing with someone else’s memories and emotions that kept too many Rangers awake. 

Sighing, Chuck rolls from his stomach to his back, un-made sheets rustling beneath him as he tries to get more comfortable - as if that would help. Once the Jaeger program had found a drift system that worked well enough that the Rangers didn’t die, that had been the end of that, no questions asked. The world was ending, there wasn’t time to try to make things more comfortable or easy to deal with; even after nearly a decade of fighting back the Kaiju it was hard to find time to make anything easier. Chuck rolls over again, and this time his eyes find a spot of rust on the ceiling in front of him that he stares at for what seems like hours, though in reality is probably barely a few minutes, before someone knocks on the door.


	4. Chapter 4

'Dad' Chuck’s brain supplies him, and Chuck sits up in bed, too tired to care about his father’s impending anger -or worse, pity- that would all be aimed towards Chuck. ‘’Gimme a minute.’’ He says just loud enough to be heard through the metal door, sliding out of bed and glancing around tiredly before his eyes fall on the sweatpants he had taken off earlier and he tugs them on, bouncing slightly to keep his balance before he makes his way to the door, yanking it open and already having to bite his tongue to keep from saying anything. 

‘’I thought you were gonna come back.’’ Raleigh doesn’t look the least bit upset except for the fake pout on his lips, and Chuck wants to sag with relief that he doesn’t have to deal with his father just yet; at some point, he know’s he will, but with luck that can wait till later. ‘’I told you I had to go talk to Mako.’’ He rolls his eyes, but theres a smile tugging at the corner of his lips as he catches Raleigh’s eyes dipping to look over his bare chest. Which Chuck finds equally embarrassing and exciting to watch as Raleigh fails to even pretend he’s not checking him out. ‘’Dude.’’ Chuck finally grunts, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning on the doorframe to get Raleigh to stop staring; and it works, Raleigh’s eyes snap to attention and he grins a little sheepishly. 

‘’Sorry, I wasn’t expecting um- you- to be..’’ Chuck doesn’t understand how Raleigh can be so uniform and perfect walking around the dome, and suddenly turn into a stuttering dork as soon as he doesn’t have anyone from the shatterdome with their eyes glued on him at all times. ‘’You need something?” Chuck mentally kicked himself when those words come out of his mouth, but it’s not like he has that much experience dealing with this kind of anything and on top of that, he doesn’t even know if Raleigh wants to follow up on the make-out session they’d had earlier. Raleigh hunches his shoulders slightly, looking defensive, and it makes Chuck feel a little bit bad; he hadn’t been trying to be rude, he just wasn’t very good at being nice. ‘’Can I come in?” The words seem to slip out of Raleigh’s mouth before he can stop himself, and Chuck steps back readily, opening the door a little bit wider, trying to make it clear he wasn’t irritated at Raleigh. ‘’Are you okay?” He can’t stop himself from asking, feeling fidgety and awkwardly talkative when matched with Raleigh’s silence. There weren’t too many things that made Chuck feel awkward either, which was more than a little troubling. If he didn’t sort out whatever was happening between he and Raleigh really fucking soon, he had a feeling things would only get more complicated. Raleigh steps through the door and closes it behind him, checking to make sure it had sealed and locked before he pushes pushes Chuck up against the wall, making the Australian squirm slightly before he catches on that Raleigh’s intentions aren’t to start a fight. ‘’Way to make your feelings clear.’’ Chuck mumbles sarcastically, but Raleigh doesn’t seem to pick up on the sarcasm as he leans in and picks up where they had left off, his scarred hands running over Chuck’s chest before settling on his hips. Chuck figures out pretty fast that it is really, really easy to set aside his not-so-conflicting feelings about Raleigh when he’s up against the cold metal wall with the American taking his time with kissing him, warm hands digging into his hips. Really easy. 

Chuck manages to react a bit faster this time, snaking one arm around Raleigh’s waist and the other at the base of his neck, fingers stroking his short hair. Chuck kisses back diligently, sucking on Raleigh’s bottom lip and actively fighting to keep up with the older man’s obviously well-versed kisses until Raleigh pulls back slightly, causing Chuck to frown at him. ‘’Why did you-’’ Chuck’s words trail off in a intake of breath as Raleigh starts pressing sloppy kisses against his neck, trailing over his pulse-point and making Chuck whimper quietly, the feeling of Raleigh’s warm mouth on his neck going straight to his crotch. Raleigh laughs against his neck, barely a huff of warm breath before he goes begins to lick over the tendon in Chuck’s neck. Chuck’s hands shift as he starts to catch his breath, uncurling from their tight grip on Raleigh’s neck to scrape over his stupid sweater -all he wears is sweaters fuck- Chuck thinks distractedly for a moment, because this one is a bleached and faded grey that really shouldn’t look as attractive on Raleigh as it did. Raleigh closing his teeth over the spot he’d been sucking on brings Chuck very quickly back to the moment, suddenly acutely aware of his half-hard cock. ‘’Woah-’’ he grits out, hands coming up to Raleigh’s chest to push him away slightly. ‘’Unlike some people, i don’t wear turtlenecks all the time. No marks.’’ he huffs, even though all he wants is for Raleigh to leave is dark bruises all over him, Chuck restrains, wondering why he seems to be the voice of reason in this relationship. Raleigh’s eyes dart from Chuck’s neck to his eyes, raising his eyebrows slightly. ‘’Uh..’’ Chuck groans as he realizes what Raleigh is trying to get around saying. The last thing he needs is dark hickey’s all over his neck, but that appears to be what he has now. 

‘’Alright, we’ll work on that.’’ Chuck says, pulling Raleigh in for another kiss before he feels himself being pulled towards his bed, Raleigh carefully stepping backwards and keeping his hands on Chuck’s waist to guide him forwards. ‘’Forward.’’ Chuck grumbles, but he definitely isn’t complaining when the back of Raleigh’s knees it the bed and he pulls away from Chuck slightly before letting himself fall backwards on the bed, landing spread out on the rumpled sheets and grinning. Chuck snorts and crawls on top of him, grabbing the hem of the American’s disgusting sweater and pushing it up over his chest, watching the way Raleigh’s muscles coil as he takes the hint and sits up just enough to tug it over his head. Chuck hadn’t thought about what Raleigh would look like without a shirt on until now, and he was more impressed than he’d like to admit. There are scars running all over him, symmetrical pale lines that match the interior of his Jaeger suit, but it doesn’t subtract from his beauty at all; if anything, Chuck thinks the scars add to it. Running his hands over the muscled planes of Raleigh’s abs carefully, Chuck leans down and placing a trail of kisses over his stomach, repeating the motions that Raleigh had made on his neck. Raleigh huffs out a breath, tossing his sweater to the other side of the bed and leaning up on his forearms to watch Chuck for a moment, groaning slightly and tangling his hand in Chuck’s hair. The Australian glances up at the feeling of a Raleigh’s finger carding through his hair, biting the inside of his cheek to keep from stuttering out something awkward like ‘i wasn’t expecting you to be so hot’ Chuck did have some self respect left, after all. 

Sitting up, Raleigh wraps an arm around Chuck’s waist and practically smashes their lips together, tugging Chuck forwards so they were flush against each other; causing Chuck to groan as Raleigh’s movements drag his hard-on over Raleigh’s lap. ‘’Fuck-’’ he gets cut off by Raleigh suddenly becoming incredibly interested in the tent in Chuck’s sweatpants. ‘’From kissing?” He laughs, and Chuck can’t decide whether or not to kiss or strangle Raleigh. ‘’The neck thing kinda did it.’’ he hums, rocking into Raleigh’s hand when the American starts to palm him up through his pants, leaving Chuck to try his best to breath properly at the touch. It’s ridiculous for Raleigh’s hand alone to feel as good as it does, but Chuck isn’t used to other people touching him and just the thought of it makes his cock twitch in interest. Slowly, as if he’s waiting for Chuck to bat his hand away, Raleigh tugs at the waistband of his sweatpants, wrapping his hand around Chuck’s cock and squeezing it gently, rubbing his thumb over the head and laughing quietly when the Australian tries to muffle his moan by burying his face in the crook of Raleigh’s shoulder. 

‘’Jesus you’re sensitive.’’ Chuck knew that was coming, so the words don’t come as a surprise, but what does startle him slightly is that Raleigh doesn’t sound condescending or deterred by the fact; ‘’I wouldn’t be if you weren’t such a damn tease.’’ He lies automatically, thankful when Raleigh doesn’t comment on it. Raleigh’s hand pulls away, and the older man prompts Chuck to look up with a hand on his jaw. ‘’Lay down.’’ Raleigh commands, and Chuck somehow doesn’t regret how readily he obeys, sliding off of his lap in favor of sitting down in the middle of the bed, looking expectantly at Raleigh. If Chuck had thought about sex with Raleigh before -which he hadn’t- he would have assumed it was rough and fast, but for some reason Raleigh was being slow and taking his time, only causing Chuck to become more and more impatient. ‘’C’mon, old man.’’ he growls after Raleigh has curled up on the bed in front of him, positioned in between his legs, still going too slowly for Chuck’s liking. 

‘’You want a blow job or not?” Comes the reply, and Chuck can’t find it in himself to be embarrassed how quickly he stills, even though Raleigh smirks at him. ‘’At least i’v found a way to shut you up.’’ He laughs, and Chuck can feel the tips of his ears heat up with a blush. ‘’I’ll just have to keep talking then huh?” He says, sitting up and wrapping a hand around the back of Raleigh’s head, dragging him down to press up against the tent in his pants. ‘’Don’t you want to stretch those pretty little lips over my dick? I’d be a bit nicer if I were you.’’ The effect his words have on Raleigh are so instant that it’s almost comical, how Raleigh tugs hooks his fingers into the waistband of Chuck’s pants and tugs them down to his knees, then yanks them down to Chuck’s ankles so the Australian can spread his legs further, his movements just a little bit sloppier than they normally were. Chuck smirks, but it only lasts until Raleigh has found a comfortable position with one arm curled around Chuck’s thigh and the other stroking the base of his cock as he fits his mouth over the tip of Chuck’s cock, wiping any trace of a smirk off of his lips. 

He isn’t sure if Raleigh is good at blow jobs by anyone elses standards, but to Chuck he doesn’t think he’s ever felt anything better as the older man tongues over his slit teasingly before pushing his head down, taking Chuck down just an inch or two. Chuck keeps one hand tangled in Raleigh’s grown-out hair, his other arm occupied with holding him up so he can watch as Raleigh slowly takes him all the way down, hollowing out his cheeks and starting to bob his head. Chuck cries out just loud enough that Raleigh’s shoulders tense, moving his hand up and pushing three fingers into the Australians mouth to keep him from waking up the other Rangers; these walls were thick, yes, but they weren’t soundproof. 

It doesn’t take long before Chuck’s hands are tightening into fists, one curling in the sheets and the other tugging at Raleigh’s hair. It takes all of Chuck’s willpower not to buck his hips up into Raleigh’s mouth; he can feel his legs shaking slightly as Raleigh continues to move his head up and down, tongue rubbing over the underside of his cock until Chuck feels wrecked buy stimulation and warmth. Raleigh’s fingers in his mouth feel like an added bonus, strong hands keeping him silent is way too arousing to Chuck, and he can’t stop himself from toying with the fingers in his mouth, sliding his tongue over them playfully. ‘’Ray- Ray.’’ He says around the American’s fingers as he feels himself getting closer to the edge; he doesn’t want it to stop, not yet anyway. Raleigh glances up, and for a second Chuck is struck with the image of Raleigh staring at him questioningly, the man’s lips stretched over his cock as he pauses in his rhythm, halfway down on Chuck. ‘’Hmm?” The vibrations of Raleigh’s hum make chuck breath in sharply, but before Raleigh gets too smug about it the Australian tugs his hair up again, and the older man takes the hint, pulling his head up slowly and making a face like the fucker is enjoying it which makes Chuck squirm uncomfortably. ‘’Will you-’’ Chuck realizes he has no idea how to ask this at the same time Raleigh makes an expectant face, raising his eyebrows at Chuck. 

‘’Fuck you?” Raleigh finishes his sentence, and Chuck is somewhat thankful that he didn’t have to force the words out. Chuck sits up, still a little shaky as he leans over and clumsily tugs open the drawer to his bedside table and grabbing a bottle of lube. It wasn’t like he’d ever actually had someone to fuck him, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t experiment with it. Raleigh takes the slim bottle from him, clicking the cap open and drizzling some of it onto his fingers wordlessly; slicking it over his fingers carefully before he glances up at Chuck, a hint of smugness in his face. Chuck lets himself be rearranged when Raleigh lifts his hips up and pushes a pillow under him, spreading his legs out just a little bit more; It’s a little bit strange to watch him, with his legs curled up under him still in the ratty cargo pants.   
But his thoughts of the strangeness are immediately deterred when Raleigh places a kiss on his hip and edges one of his fingers into him, going slowly like he thought Chuck had never done this before. The combination of his sensitivity from the blow job and the new feeling of Raleigh’s finger pressing into him make it difficult for Chuck not to come right there, and he has to grit his teeth against the pressure that builds up in his cock. ‘’Dude- you can move. I ain’t gonna break.’’ he huffs out, and Raleigh looks sheepish again. Chuck felt like he was burning with the need for Raleigh to actually take his pants off, he was embarrassingly hard and Raleigh’s languid movements weren’t getting him any closer to relief. 

‘’I was just being careful.’’ Raleigh says defensively, but picks up the pace, adding another finger after a moment, and Chuck holds back a moan at the feeling of Raleigh’s fingers pushing up inside him, spreading him out and working him open. It hadn’t felt like this when he’d fingered himself, it had been more work than it had been pleasure. But with Raleigh it felt so good that Chuck could feel himself rocking his hips back into his hand after a few more seconds with two fingers, and Raleigh snorts, but doesn’t comment as he adds a third finger that has Chuck suppressing a shudder; he’d never used more than two on himself before. 

Raleigh takes his time with three fingers though, and the initial shock of Raleigh’s fingers is wearing off on Chuck, and the warm feeling of his arousal was no longer so pleasant as it was a burning itch that Raleigh seemed to be purposefully ignoring. ‘’Raleigh, hurry up.’’ he groans in frustration, because as much as he likes this gentle Raleigh who gives a shit about him, right now he’d much rather have a Raleigh who wasn’t so concerned about hurting him and would get on with pinning him down and fucking him into the mattress. 

Above him Raleigh seems to be reveling in the idea of drawing it out and making Chuck wait, teasing him to an almost painful limit. 

Reaching up, Chuck wraps one hand around Raleigh’s neck, his fingers curling around the fading bruises in a loose choke hold, only barely putting pressure into his grip so he can feel it against his palm when Raleigh swallows, his adam's apple bobbing with the movement. Chuck grins at the reaction, and tightens his hand around Raleigh’s throat, fingers digging into the sensitive flesh just behind his pulse point, until Raleigh’s apparent pain kink wins over and he finally sits up and undoes his pants, struggling slightly before he slides them off of his hips along with his briefs -fuck he was wearing briefs- and wriggles out of them, discarding the fabric onto the floor. Chuck scratches his fingers over Raleigh’s neck where he had left faint red marks, a small apology as his eyes fall onto Raleigh’s dick because holy shit. It wasn’t as if Raleigh was weirdly huge or anything, he had a little less than seven inches on him probably, but his cock was hard up against his thigh and flushed the same color as Raleigh’s blush. ‘’Shit.’’ he mumbles more to himself than Raleigh -he’s sure Raleigh does not need more of an ego boost about his dick- and Raleigh grabs the bottle of lube before pausing. ‘’I guess you don’t have condoms huh?” A small part of Chuck is reasonable enough to be at least a little disheartened by the idea of not having condoms, but for the most part Chuck feels desperate enough to wave off the idea. ‘’It’s protocol to get every active pilot checked, Ray. Unless you got something you wanna tell me, I think it’s okay.’’ he says, and Raleigh doesn’t speak up about any sexually transmitted diseases, so he sits up again and drags the American towards him by his hair, pressing a sloppy kiss up against his mouth while he wraps his left hand around both of their cocks, pumping his hand up and down with no exact rhythm for the sake of getting touched. Raleigh groans into the kiss and his hips jerk up to meet Chuck’s hand, the feeling too good to pass up. 

Chuck lets Raleigh push him back on the mattress, bouncing slightly before Raleigh’s on top of him again, biting small marks down his neck and over his collarbone, his hands both pressed flat on Chuck’s shoulders to keep him still -as if Chuck was going anywhere- Raleigh’s mouth was so distracting that for almost a minute it’s all he can focus on, teeth scraping over every inch of his chest, unforgiving and sharp as he leaves small marks that will fade before they finish; then all to quickly Raleigh sits up again, his hands groping around in the sheets for a minute before he re-locates the bottle of lube and opens it again, squeezing some of the translucent oil onto his hand before smearing it over his cock. Chuck would have laughed at how Raleigh both shivers and lets out a small gasp -torn between the cold lube and the attention on his cock- except that Chuck himself is just as hard and he can’t really find it in him to laugh at this point, too distracted by the heat in his stomach.

For a moment Chuck entertains the idea of laying Raleigh out on his back and riding him just to completely eliminate all of the pauses that Raleigh keeps making - which are made worse by the way they appear to be because he’s scared he might hurt Chuck; as if Chuck hadn’t already proven multiple times that he could handle himself. Before he takes action on that plan though, Raleigh is lifting his legs so they settle over the American’s shoulders, giving Chuck a foreign sense of intimacy that he does his best to ignore while Raleigh settles on his knees and guides his cock slowly into Chuck. Despite the teasing from Raleigh’s fingers, Chuck is still slightly surprised by how it actually feels to have a dick in him instead of just fingers, and he breathes in sharply, trying to force himself to relax instead of tensing up. Raleigh seems to take that as a sign to slow down, and he stops, eyes flicking up to Chuck. 

‘’okay?” He mumbles, and Chuck wants to roll his eyes. ‘’keep moving you asshat.’’ he gripes, digging his heels into Raleigh’s back to prompt him further, but Raleigh seems to have different ideas. ‘’y’wanna rephrase that?” he hums, and Chuck wants to yell at him because now is really not the time for a power trip accept that it technically is and for some reason that idea makes Chuck feel even more desperate to get Raleigh to move. ‘’Please keep moving you asshat?” He tries, not sure why he’s still goading Raleigh on when he’s figured out what the American wants; except that maybe the knowledge that Raleigh actually does want this just as much as him. Raleigh leans down bites Chuck’s neck -right below his jaw- for his trouble, and Chuck doesn’t bother restraining the whimper that it draws out of him. ‘’Okay jesus, pushy much?” He says between gritted teeth, but the only response his words provoke is Raleigh’s teeth digging sharply into his skin. ‘’Fuck-’’ Chuck doesn’t think he can physically take any more stimulation without any actual relief from Raleigh. 

‘’Please; Raleigh, will you keep moving?” As an afterthought, he adds in a quieter voice ‘’I’ll be good.’’ both as a confirmation that he’s not going to need Raleigh to slow down again and in hopes that he might hit one of Raleigh’s kinks. it’s pathetic how eager he was for Raleigh to lose his composed demeanor as well; for the uniform soldier to actually lose his cool if even for only a while. His words do seem to help though, because Raleigh stops biting him and places a kiss on top of the stinging spot where he had bitten him and starts to move, slowly at first until he’s all the way in, and then he repeats the action a little faster until he’s picked up an even pace that Chuck knows will probably leave him sore later, but it feels so good that he doesn’t even try to slow down the pace, instead rocking back into it as much as he can. Raleigh’s fast rhythm gives them both an instant satisfaction, the build-up to this seemed like much too long to wait but Chuck grudgingly accepts that it had only made the actual process of getting pushed roughly into the mattress with Raleigh on top of him better. 

It doesn’t even occur to him that it could get better until Raleigh angles his hips upwards as he pushes forwards, hitting his prostate and making Chuck groan so loudly that Raleigh instantly claps a hand over his mouth again, this time keeping it there as he picks up the pace again, grazing over Chuck’s prostate almost every time, quickly turning the Australian into a writhing mess as he does so. He can feel drips of pre-come dripping from the head of his cock and slipping over his stomach, and Chuck tries to hold on to the warm pressure behind his skin in hopes of not coming so quickly; despite how he kept wanting Raleigh to hurry up now Chuck wants nothing more than to draw this out for as long as possible, but he can feel himself losing his grip on whatever control he had over himself as Raleigh’s rhythm becomes slightly off beat. He can hear the cut-off moans that Raleigh is making above him, sharp intakes and exhales of breath that accentuate each roll of his hips. 

‘’Raleigh- Raleigh, Ray, fuck i’m so fucking close please don’t stop-’’ Chuck is glad that Raleigh’s hand cuts off and muffles the torrent of words that spill out of his mouth until all he can manage is the man’s name, his voice sounding strangled from stimulation and the feeling of getting off just on Raleigh fucking him; it only takes a few more seconds before Chuck finally tips over the edge, his legs shaking and digging into Raleigh’s back as his hips buck upwards, not bothering to try to keep quiet as he comes, figuring Raleigh’s hand will muffle most of it anyway. He’s vaguely aware that Raleigh’s pulled out of him; how considerate he thinks, because really, who wants to have spunk dripping out of their ass for the next hour or so because they didn’t have a condom? 

And then, Not wanting to be a complete freeloader, Chuck uses his legs to tug Raleigh down on top up of him, dragging a grunt of surprise out of the older man as he lands on his forearms, inches above Chuck for barely a second before the Australian has wormed a hand in between them, stroking Raleigh at the same fast pace until he’s shaking, pressing his face against Chuck’s chest and thrusting involuntarily into the blonde's hand for barely twenty more seconds until he’s coming as well, letting out a low, guttural moan as he does. 

Chuck does his best to ignore the mess they’ve both made all over his chest, despite how hyper-aware he is of it. Raleigh seems less concerned, which is easy, when it’s not all over you leaning up for a languid kiss that Chuck lazily reciprocates, pressing into it for a moment before pulling away. Raleigh flops down beside him on the small bed, humming slightly as he does so, which makes Chuck snort before he slips out of the bed, dragging himself to the bathroom and grabbing a ratty washcloth which he dampens in the sink; wiping off the spunk on his stomach and his hand, making a face as he tosses the towel into the farthest corner of the bathroom to be cleaned later and returning to the bed, where Raleigh is sitting up, apparently having been watching him. 

‘’We should talk.’’ he says after a long pause, and Chuck rolls his eyes, grabbing a pair of boxers off the floor and slipping them on. ‘’Do we have too?” He says in the whiniest voice he can muster, but sits down on the bed next to Raleigh anyway. 

He’s waiting for Raleigh to feel the need to talk him through the finer points of a one night stand, at which point Chuck can tell him he already gets it and they can go back to ignoring each other when at all possible and resorting to violence when they can’t. 

‘’It was too soon.’’ those are the words that come out of Raleigh’s mouth instead, and Chuck doesn’t quite understand what he means; but before he can ask Raleigh hurries on. ‘’I mean, probably for me it wasn’t, but clearly you haven’t been fantasizing about this as long as i have. I mean, I’m the one that got a fucking boner the second you straddled me.’’ He’s talking all in one breath now, rambling as his eyes flit anywhere but Chuck’s face. 

It takes Chuck a moment to even sort out what Raleigh is saying; and even though he wants to snort and tease and make fun of Raleigh with the new information he’s gotten, a small part of his mind reminds him that they aren’t going into this on the same level, that if Raleigh’s been crushing on him practically since they met, at some point their feelings for each other won’t match up enough to hold up. It’s a small part though, an incomplete thought that barely brushes Chuck’s mind as he smirks at Raleigh. ‘’Seriously mate?” he says, amused as much as he is incredulous at the idea that the American could actually get a hard on from a fight. Sure, Chuck can remember how he had liked the look of blood on Raleigh’s face, the red liquid dripping over his lips and his teeth and his sharp jaw.. Maybe that makes more sense than Chuck would like to admit. 

Raleigh scrubs a hand over his face. ‘’I’m surprised you didn’t notice.’’ He says, voice muffled slightly by his palm. ‘’But that’s not the point.’’ Chuck doesn’t want to have this conversation, it gives him the bad feeling that it’s going to end with he and Raleigh never talking again; not that it’s particularly the talking he’s interested in, but he doesn’t mind it for the moment. ‘’The point is, you’re a pussy so you can’t tell me what you actually mean.’’ Chuck says, letting out a breath and laying back on his bed, stretching his legs out in front of him. He hears Raleigh sigh, but keeps his eyes fixed on the ceiling the way they had been before Raleigh had come to his quarters. 

‘’I mean, if I pushed you into anything you didn’t want..’’ the older man trails off, and Chuck can’t help it, he snaps. ‘’For fucks sake, did that seem like a one-sided thing to you?” Raleigh doesn’t respond to that, so Chuck keeps going. ‘’I don’t know where this shit is coming from! i’m not a child you fuckhole, and if you’re making up excuses because you want this to be a one-time thing, you might want to get it out before i wither up and die of old age.” This time it sounds like Raleigh wants to make an interjection, but Chuck doesn’t let him. ‘’Yes, you have a great dick; No, i’m not going to freak out and pine after you like a freakin’ cunt if you leave. I don’t care either way, so do what you-’’ He’s cut off by Raleigh leaning over and placing a sloppy kiss against his pulse point, causing Chuck to fall silent with an exhale of unused breath; Really shouldn’t have told him about that he doesn’t understand why Raleigh can’t seem to grasp that Chuck just wants him to leave. 

‘’You’re an idiot if you think that’s what I meant.’’ Chuck thinks he can feel Raleigh’s voice vibrating against his neck, and he shifts slightly, turning his head to try to get a look at Raleigh. ‘’You were saying it was a mistake, Ray, don’t try to take it back now.’’ Raleigh sighs against his neck and pulls away, hovering over with with his eyebrows drawn together like he’s confused. ‘’Were you even listening to me? I was going to ask if you wanted to do this again sometime.’’ Chuck’s eyes widen slightly in surprise and Raleigh closes his, groaning and curling into him, draping an arm and a leg over him carefully. 

‘’You’re impossible.’’ Raleigh groans, and Chuck tries not to laugh. He feels stupid for over reacting, but he still doesn’t understand why Raleigh would ask him that; Chuck silently blames the fact that he never attempted to talk to people he cared about outside the drift and doesn’t ask Raleigh why he’s suddenly interested, it was too much to even try to put together. ‘’Sorry.’’ He says, and Raleigh just grunts, wiggling an arm under Chuck’s back, closing whatever distance might have been left in between them. He closes his eyes slowly and almost instantly falls asleep to the sound of Raleigh’s breathing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> they gon frickle frackle


	5. Chapter 5

Chuck wakes up to a squeaking sound and a cold bed, which doesn’t surprise him at first until he sits up and feels an immediate soreness in his ass. He looks around blearily, and discovers that the squeaking sound was emanating from his own bed. Raleigh is on the floor, legs wrapped around the far leg of the bed, hands folded neatly behind his head as he executes countless sit-ups. He’s not counting, just breathing in pace with his movements and his eyes are closed as well, like he’s too disinterested in what he’s doing to bother keeping them open; his whole face looks relaxed despite his constant movement and the sweat collecting on his forehead and dampening his hair.

He looks more peaceful than Chuck thinks he’s ever seen him, and for a while he just sits, listening to the faint sound of squeaking and watch Raleigh; who seems oblivious to the outside world. Eventually, Raleigh stops, leaning down slowly and laying on his back before he finally senses something different and glances around the room. ‘’What the hell are you doing?” Chuck asks, having not wanted to break the silence before for fear that everything would somehow change for the worse. 

‘’..Crunches?” Raleigh sounds guilty and Chuck doesn’t know why, but he isn’t quite awake enough to figure out why without asking. ‘’Why are you doing crunches?” He doesn’t know what time it is, but he doubts it’s a reasonable shift for Raleigh to be sitting on the floor doing sit ups. Raleigh looks sheepish, when he curls his legs up under him, sitting cross legged; the movement for some reason makes Chuck aware of the briefs Raleigh has on always with the briefs and it takes him a moment longer to put together that they’re his, but he decides not to comment, saving that for a more reasonable hour. ‘’Couldn’t sleep.’’ Raleigh shrugs, and Chuck feels like saying no shit, sherlock accept that he’s still feels exhausted, and doesn’t want to start a shit fest this early in a shift. Raleigh seems to pick up on his line of thinking somehow and explains further, still looking as if it were a non-event; which, in the shatterdome probably is, but it seems a little weird to Chuck.

‘’Ever since Knifehead, I guess I kinda developed insomnia.’’ He stretches his arms up, and Chuck allows himself a moment to be appreciative of Raleigh’s muscled arms and toned shoulders before moving back to the fact that his.. Whatever, is a gym junkie and doesn’t seem to have noticed yet. ‘’Working out seems to help, so it’s become a habit.’’ he gives a lazy thought that makes Chuck wonder if he’s always running on so little sleep. ‘’How many hours did you get?” He asks, not sure why he suddenly gives a shit about it, it’s not like Raleigh confessed his undying love for- well, maybe he did, but it was too casual for Chuck to actually take it seriously; he hadn’t even really done that much, just asked if he wanted to have sex again sometime. Chuck could do sex, especially with Raleigh, but that didn’t make a large difference on whether or not he was allowed to have emotions about him, or be worried about him. ‘’A few hours, actually.’’ Raleigh says, and he sounds pleased with that like a small handful of hours was a good amount of sleep. ‘’I think..’’ He ducks his head, fingers scratching at his shin idly for a moment. ‘’I think you helped.’’ I think the sex helped Chuck translates mentally, and nods.

‘’I bet the no-one will kick us off the mats if you want to..?” Chuck asks, thinking that maybe he could work off some of the kinks and soreness in his body from the night before, but Raleigh shakes his head. ‘’You don’t have too, I was almost done anyway.’’ the way he says it makes Chuck feel like he interrupted something, but he ignores the feeling, pushing it aside as something he would only think when he woke up two hours earlier than he should have. ‘’Put some clothes on then, I need coffee.’’ He yawns, scrubbing a hand over his face and raking his hair back; mentally going through a checklist of his injuries. Face is healing, just a little sensitive. His neck and shoulders were okay. Back’s a bit stiff, i’ll work that out later when i’ve got time. Arms, wrists, hands, check. My ass fucking hurts Chuck winces as he slips off the bed and stands up, stretching out his arms and back carefully. His legs are fine but shit he probably should have done something to prevent this last night; ‘’or maybe not-’’ he says, finishing the thought out loud when Raleigh stands up as well and presses up against him, trailing soft kisses over his neck and shoulder while his hands immediately go to grab his ass through the boxers Chuck had put on hours before. Raleigh huffs out a breath of laughter and kisses him before pulling back and making a face. ‘’Ew.’’ He says, blinking a few times. ‘’Morning breath.’’ 

Chuck smacks him on the back of the head lightly, but he’s in agreement as he tugs open a drawer beside his bed and pulls out a shirt and a pair of jeans, holding them out blindly to Raleigh. ‘’Your clothes are gonna look shitty if they stayed on the floor.’’ He again fails to mention that it looks like Raleigh figured that out since he’s wearing a pair of Chuck’s briefs mostly for the sake of actually getting out of his quarters in the next few hours, because Chuck is positive that if he mentions it, he won’t be able to ignore it anymore and he’ll start paying too much attention to how they fit tightly over his ass and wrinkle up at the edges where his dick probably stretched the fabric a little- Chuck mentally kicks himself for getting distracted as Raleigh takes the clothes from him, and the Australian assumes he’s putting them on when he hears a rustling of fabric. 

He grabs a shirt that he picked up in one of the little stores built outside the dome -Hong Kong had stores everywhere, bathed in neon light- a plain grey t-shirt with Striker Eurekas logo on the front, for the hell of it; and a pair of faded jeans that he probably should have thrown out a long time ago. He shrugs into the shirt and then pulls on his jeans a little bit more carefully before sitting down to lace up his boots and shrug on a worn leather jacket. When he stands up Raleigh is already dressed. The jeans fit him just a little snugly around the hips, but the shirt, is tighter than Chuck had expected, so unlike Raleigh’s usual loose shirts that the Australian had the faint idea of burning all of the older mans clothing so he would have an excuse to make him where things that fit him more often. Damn he thinks, and almost says it out loud before he catches himself, instead standing up and stuffing his hands into the pockets of his coat, forcing himself to look at anything other than Raleigh’s chest. 

‘’C’mon.’’ He sweeps past Raleigh, his boots making heavy thuds on the floor that remind him of Striker Eurekas just enough to make him smile every time he becomes aware of it, and tugs open the door, taking a quick glance around the hall to confirm it’s empty before stepping outside, Raleigh at his shoulder. There’s a shift that's awake right now, but this is the last shift, the ones that are always on watch more than on duty because of their lack of sleep. Which helps ease Chuck’s mind slightly, because he isn’t quite sure how he went from disliking and avoiding Raleigh as much as possible to having sex with the guy, and he doesn’t know if he wants anyone else to try to put a name on it before he does. Chuck doesn’t make very many friends, and that’s never been something that bothered him; he liked the people that were close to him and didn’t attempt to please anyone around him, it was that simple. But with Raleigh, Raleigh was the first person to actively try weasle his way into Chuck’s life. Maybe that was the only reason that Chuck felt attached to him the way he did, but he hadn’t worked out how everything had shifted so quickly, and no amount of thinking was going to fix that; at least not before his first cup of coffee.

They pass the drop spot for the Crimson Typhoon, and Chuck starts as Raleigh snakes a hand up the back of his shirt, blunt nails scratching down his spine. ‘’Raleigh?” He means for it to sound like a warning, but it comes out sounding like more of a question than anything else, and Chuck can practically feel Raleigh’s smirk. There’s still no-one in sight, but that doesn’t stop Chuck from feeling uneasy at the idea someone could see them. He’s already wearing my clothes He thinks, as Raleigh flattens his palm against the small of his back, and Chuck has to repress a shiver, eyes glancing around nervously, waiting for someone to come around the corner and see them. Not that they’d really see anything, if anything they’d just think that Raleigh’s hand was on Chuck’s back; but that doesn’t stop him from getting antsy. 

‘’Ray, stop it.’’ he hisses, turning slightly to glare at the American, but if anything his words only seem to goad Raleigh on further, because he just gives Chuck a smile before his eyes fall back to the end of the hallway. I just wanted coffee fuck me Chuck doesn’t understand why Raleigh is so insistent on doing this to him. There are six coffee pots in the cafeteria, and at least three of them always have coffee in them; but when they get there -amazingly, undetected- only one machine has coffee in it, and what’s there is cold and stale. Groaning, Chuck tugs the pot full of old coffee out of its housing and poors it’s contents into a waste bin, wrinkling his nose at the smell of cold coffee before returning it to it’s place and popping open the filter and picking out the soaked filter and damp, used grinds, which follows the coffee into bin. ‘’Get me a new filter?” He asks Raleigh, who’s perched himself on the empty counterspace beside Chuck, watching him -uslessly- clean up after the last idiot who didn’t bother taking the grinds out himself. Raleigh grunts, either to lazy or to tired to respond with human words, but reaches over and plucks a clean filter from the stack behind him, handing it to Chuck, who wants to say something sarcastic like ‘Thanks, babe’ except now he thinks that the term may be taken to literally, so he keeps his trap shut and shoves the filter into the brew basket. 

Raleigh wordlessly hands him the container of coffee grinds as well, and Chuck praises the higher beings that he doesn’t have to grind fresh beans himself as he levels out two scoops, pausing before adding two more. ‘’Eight cups?” Raleigh questions, because both of them know that no one off-duty is going to be awake before the pot cools off. ‘’It is three hours earlier than when i usually wake up.’’ Chuck snorts, looking up from the coffee to raise an eyebrow at Raleigh, who hunches his shoulders slightly, looking apologetic. ‘’Besides, you didn’t sleep well; you need the extra caffeine.’’ He plops four of the two-cup hydro-packets into the canister, closing the cover shut with a click and turning it on, wishing it wouldn’t take so long for him to have caffeine. 

‘’Hey.’’ Raleigh asks, his voice softer than usual. ‘’When’s the last time you drifted with Herc?” Chuck stiffens, turning to look a little resentfully at Raleigh. Why did he care? ‘’Right before Gipsy Danger’s test drive..?” he asks, and Raleigh hums in response, eyes darting back and forth like he’s reading a book for a minute before he pipes up again. ‘’I guess he doesn’t know about.. uh- us, then?” Chuck hadn’t thought of that. He leans a hip against the counter, propping up his elbow on the top of the coffee pot, which choked and gurgled as it filtered through the grinds. ‘’Nah.’’ he says, looking up at Raleigh with a little bit of trepidation in his eyes. 

‘’Do you want him too?” It’s a stupid question, no one wants Herc Hansen to get visuals of his son getting fucked roughly into a mattress; not Chuck, not Raleigh, and definitely not Herc. He hadn’t thought of that before, but there wasn’t really a way he could keep stuff away from his father's mind in the drift. Oops Chuck suddenly isn’t looking forward to another Kaiju getting shit out of the drift; not one bit. Raleigh purses his lips, digging two styrofoam cups out of a plastic bag as he speaks. ‘’I respect Herc. I mean, back in the day he saved Yancy and I’s asses, y’know?” Chuck senses a ‘but’, but waits for it instead of prompting Raleigh. ‘’But-’’ yep, there it is. Raleigh shoots him a look like he knows what he’s thinking before continuing. ‘’But I’d rather him not find out.. Like.. That.’’ Chuck doesn’t like where this is going, especially with the way Raleigh is making it sound. ‘’You wasn’t me to tell him. Verbally. With words?” This is the last thing that Chuck wants to do; but it’s not like he can do anything about it now, his father will undoubtedly at least get some drift-sponsored audio, and he has to admit his father at least deserved to get a warning. 

Raleigh almost laughs, but he seems to catch himself, hopping off the counter and placing the styrofoam cups next to the container of hydro-packets; Tugging Chuck forwards by the collar of his jacket and pressing a kiss into the crook of his neck, drawing out a huff of breath from Chuck that barely hinted to a moan. It was like Raleigh had some sort of fixation with driving Chuck to insanity. ‘’Cafeteria.’’ he hums, ignoring the fact that he hadn’t managed to form a coherent sentence like we’re in the cafeteria where someone could see us or anything of the sort, be he guesses it wouldn’t make a difference whether or not he could have formed a long oral paper on why Raleigh shouldn’t be doing whatever the hell he’s doing to Chuck’s neck because Raleigh clearly enjoys making Chuck uncomfortable; his hands pushing up Chuck’s shirt so he can dig his finger-nails into the younger man’s sides, teeth scraping over his pulse point and making Chuck’s breath stutter in the quiet room. ‘’I s-said no marks, you dick.’’ he says, trying to sound irritated and failing completely, only managing to encourage Raleigh to continue. ‘’C’mon, it’s not like anyone’s around to see.’’ Chuck is less irritated than he should be when he realizes that Raleigh definitely isn’t talking about hickey’s anymore, and he can’t bring himself to actually argue when Raleigh gets on his knees, pushing Chuck back against the counter and fumbling to open his pants. It’s oh-four hundred Some slightly more rational part of Chuck reminds him, but Raleigh’s already tugging his pants and briefs down just enough to get Chuck’s cock out, stroking it gently and glancing up to grin smugly -that bastard- up at him, and the Australian has to force himself to look away from Raleigh and glance around the room, feeling arousal pool in his stomach at the light touches Raleigh is giving him. 

Chuck’s fingers are white from the grip he has on the edge of the counter, and he can feel his legs shaking as Raleigh continues to tease him, rubbing his thumb over the tip of his cock before loosely stroking him with just enough friction to make Chuck want to whine at him to get moving without actually giving him any thing near relief. ‘’Raleigh..’’ He grumbles, uncurling his fingers from the counter with one hand and flattening them in the older mans hair, applying the smallest bit of pressure to the back of his head so he would start moving because anytime within the next year or so would be nice. Raleigh almost laughs, but he stops being such a tease and dips his head forward just enough to suck at the head of Chuck’s cock, and he inhales sharply and the warmth of Raleigh’s mouth compared to the cold air inside the dome. 

He tightens his grip in Raleigh’s hair, and the older man hums appreciatively as he moves his head down slowly, the vibrations making Chuck shiver and bite the inside of his cheek to keep from moaning as Raleigh slowly begins to move his head up and down, pausing every now and then to push down and swallow around Chuck, each time making the younger moan and cover his mouth to try to keep quiet. After a few minutes of leisurely leaning back against the counter, watching as Raleigh smoothly takes his cock in and out of his mouth the Australian starts to feel the familiar pressure build up, and he’s surprised he’s actually made it this far without his legs giving out under from under him yet with the things Raleigh’s doing with his tongue. As soon as Chuck’s breaths turn into short gasps Raleigh’s eyes flick up at him, warm hands wrapping around his thighs for support before he leans forward, pressing until he has all of Chuck’s cock in his mouth and then swallows his throat working and contracting around the Australian. Chuck’s eyes widen slightly before he lets them fall closed, leaning his head back as Raleigh continues to bob his head up and down until he can’t stand the movements any longer. ‘’Ray, i’m..’’ He doesn’t bother finishing his sentence because Raleigh’s already pushed him over the edge, only pulling back to swallow. ‘’oh shit.’’ Chuck finally breaths when Raleigh carefully tucks his softening cock back into his briefs and zips up his jeans, re-fastening the button as he stands up, looking all too pleased with himself. 

‘’Coffee’s ready.’’ Raleigh comments cheerfully, and Chuck frowns at him automatically, but he isn’t quite over the rush of his orgasm yet and it’s obvious that he doesn’t mean it. ‘’you’re actively trying to kill me.’’ he groans, his hands shaking as he slides the carafe out of it’s dock and pours coffee into each of the cups that had been left on the counter. ‘’dude, it was a blowjob.’’ Raleigh says, and Chuck hands him his cup of disgustingly plain black coffee with a slightly more convincing frown. ‘’In the middle of the dome.’’ he counters, grabbing a small pack of cream and peeling off the plastic lid, dumping its contents into his cup. Raleigh seems to at least consider this logic, and for a while everything is quiet as chuck continues to rip open packets of cream and sugar to dump into his coffee. 

It’s oddly comfortable silence, which chuck isn’t used to with Raleigh anywhere near him; but it’s early enough that he can’t find the motivation to be an irritating loudmouth like he usually is. ‘’You’re going to have a heart attack by the age of thirty if you continue to drink coffee like that.’’ Raleigh mumbles into his cup, leaning his forearms on the counter and watching as Chuck stirs everything together. 

‘’Mm-hmm.’’ Chuck waits until he takes his first gulp of coffee before speaking, still aware of the pit in his stomach at the idea of telling his father about Raleigh. It wasn’t as if he wanted to hide Raleigh precisely; what he really wanted was more time to figure out what had happened between three days ago and now, but time was not something what he had, what with the double-attack in two days, and he didn’t think he’d have to much time to think on his relationship status.

Chuck’s coffee is warm sweet and instantly makes him feel a little bit better, and even though he know’s it’s only a temporary feeling, he revels in it. ‘’You’re nearly thirty and you’re already considered obsolete, mate.’’ It comes out with more bite than he means too, but when Chuck uneasily glances over towards Raleigh, the older man just smiles and shakes his head, taking another gulp of coffee as if it didn’t bother him. He has dark bags under his eyes that Chuck hadn’t noticed in the dim lights of his quarters, but under the fluorescent lighting here they’re more obvious, seemingly the only proof of Raleigh not sleeping. 

It feels like they’re are too many things are happening all at once to Chuck; and he doesn’t have the time to try to fix any of it. He’s not expecting to die at the double-attack, but the chances are too high for him to not feel like he has an expiration date stamped on his forehead. He wants as much time as he can get to spend with Raleigh now that he has a different part of him than a sparring partner; and he needs to sort things out with his father, to find some sort of common ground on which to balance on. Now it seems like he doesn’t have time for any of that anymore, and Chuck doesn’t quite feel like trying. Why did Raleigh have to kiss him? Chuck can’t help thinking that if the older man had just kept his hands to himself Chuck would have felt good about going down swinging; not minding the idea of death as much as he seemed to now. 

‘’You’re brooding.” Raleigh mumbles in his ear, and Chuck realizes that the older man has slipped up behind him, resting his chin on the Australian’s shoulder. ‘’I give you a blow job at oh-four hundred hours and you’re brooding.’’ he says, and snorts, a light puff of air against Chuck’s ear. 

‘’I was not brooding, i was just.. Thinking.’’ Chuck says ‘thinking’ at the same time Raleigh says ‘Brooding’ on top of his words, and Chuck sighs, setting down his coffee and tilting his head back to rest on Raleigh’s shoulder awkwardly; but the closeness was somewhat soothing. ‘’I never had a life out of the Jaeger program, y’know? Dying was part of the package, and I was okay with that.’’ His words feel too loud in the empty cafeteria, and Chuck has to resist the urge to whisper. ‘’But as soon as it got close to it being.. A real possibility..’’ He realizes that’s a stupid way to put it, it’s always a possibility for his him to die when he gets in a Jaeger, but he pushes on. ‘’I feel like i’ve left too many things unfinished.’’

Part of Chuck hates himself, because now all of his boldness and thick skin seems like it was just a charade to get attention until he actually thought he could get hurt, and then bam he suddenly wasn’t able to go through with it. 

‘’There’s nothing wrong with wanting to live, Chuck.’’ Comes Raleigh’s even reply, and for a moment the Australian wishes he could point out that it was wrong when he had lived his whole life thinking that dying was one of the most heroic things to do; but he couldn’t say that without sounding like he was complaining so Chuck keeps his mouth shut. ‘’Yeah.’’ He agrees instead, but he doesn’t feel like Raleigh’s words have solved anything. Maybe if he had heard them a few months ago, they would have helped. They seem useless now, however, because Chuck feels to trepidatious about the double-attack to really think about anything more than the present. 

Raleigh’s hand snakes around his waist, fingers curling in the fabric of Chuck’s jacket, and for a moment Chuck allows himself to be soothed by the still-foreign feeling of Raleigh pressed up against him before Raleigh lets him go, head snapping up to stare at the corridor, where Chuck can now hear a faint tap and click of footsteps against the metal ventilation grates on the floor. There’s a swift moment of bustled movements where Raleigh slips away from Chuck and moves back to where he had been perched on the counter earlier; and Chuck grabs his coffee cup and retreats back to the line of coffee makers. ‘’Good Morning, Becket-boy.’’ comes the overly cheerful voice of someone who probably has more coffee in their bloodstream than anything else. 

Tendo, Chuck thinks without looking up, because that’s the only person who knowingly uses the name ‘Becket-boy’ without getting extremely uncomfortable. Mako had explained to Chuck that when Yancy was still alive, everyone referred to them as the Becket boy’s because they were always together; making it useless to try to differentiate them. Tendo seemed to continue using the term, though the sudden loss of the plural probably made the term more melancholy than it had been before. ‘’Good Morning Mr. Choi.’’ Raleigh’s voice is warm and Chuck can hear the smile in his words, but he doesn’t look up as he carefully scoops up the pile of empty cream and sugar packets and dumps them into the waste bin. 

‘’Hansen.’’ Chuck practically jumps when Tendo claps a hand on his shoulder, reaching around him to pick up the carafe of coffee, giving Chuck a clear view of the multiple nicotine patches stuck onto his arm. ‘’Bless you for making coffee at this hour.’’ he says, and Chuck wonders if anyone else can hear his heart beating as loudly as he does. ‘’Wouldn’t wanna have you on my bad side.’’ he grunts in response, feeling more uncomfortable than he ever has in his entire life. 

It’s true that Tendo is one of the last people Chuck wants to have dislike him -anyone who keeps tabs on the kaiju is important in Chuck’s book- but it doesn’t change the fact that Chuck has never attempted to be kind to anyone he didn’t specifically like, so he isn’t aware of what Choi actually thinks of him. He briefly tries to imagine how the man would have reacted if he had waltzed into the cafeteria and found he and Raleigh standing like they had been -or worse, while Raleigh was sucking him off- but finds the images to painful to think about and quickly pushes them out of his mind. 

Raleigh and Tendo continue to talk while Tendo fills up his mug with coffee; and Chuck attempts to look like he has a reason to be there other than ‘waiting for Tendo to leave’. He cringes every now and then as Raleigh brings up Allison, because it reminds him that despite having just arrived here, Raleigh was close with all of the workers here that had been here five years ago, and of how friendly Raleigh actually was. 

The Technician eventually seems to remember that he’s on duty and shoots Raleigh a lazy salute before leaving the cafeteria, presumably to make sure no Kaiju had struck Hong-Kong while he was chatting. 

Chuck feels like he lets out a breath as soon as Tendo is out of the room, and when he glances at Raleigh he finds the American already looking at him with a smile on his face. ‘’Did you get jealous when I was talking to Choi?” He asks, and it’s obvious that he’s try to suppress a smile as he says it, his eyes crinkling at the edges and his mouth turned down in his effort not to smile. Chuck smirks at him, taking a sip of coffee and jumping up on the counter next to him. ‘’If I was going to get jealous, I wouldn’t be jealous of the straight guy with a wife and baby.’’ he says, but Raleigh just shakes his head. ‘’No, you were jealous.’’ He grins at Chuck, finally unable to hold it back. ‘’I can tell.’’

Chuck rolls his eyes, reciprocating Raleigh’s blinding smile with a frown. ‘’I’m not that see-through.’’ he says, distantly hoping that he isn’t lying to himself when he says that. And really, he wasn’t distinctly jealous, it was pointless to be jealous; but watching Raleigh interact with Tendo had reminded him of all the time Chuck had somehow missed that he could have spent getting to know Raleigh -even if most of that time had been spent fighting with him- and it irritated Chuck to think of all the people that were lucky enough to have known Raleigh for so long. ‘’Maybe a little bit.’’ he admits after a beat, and Raleigh snorts. ‘’But not the way you think!” 

‘’Oh?” Raleigh says, leaning against him slightly and swirling the remaining contents of his cup around in circles, and Chuck can’t tell if he’s being sarcastic or not. ‘’I just- feel like..’’ Chuck grimaces, wishing he were better at talking. ‘’I wish you had come back sooner.’’ It wasn’t exactly accurate, but Chuck thinks maybe Raleigh will pick up on what he means. It’s pathetic how terrible Chuck is at trying to express his feelings, and it makes him wonder what the ratio is, of what he tries to tell Raleigh to what the American actually understands. 

‘’Like.. You wish we’d met sooner?” Raleigh asks, turning to face Chuck with an inquisitive expression that makes Chuck a little uneasy, like he’d said something wrong. ‘’Is that okay?” in hindsight, Chuck might realize how indecisive he seemed, first trying to shut down any form of conversation with Raleigh and them managing to bring up even more emotionally unstable topics only a few hours later. Chuck has the unshakable feeling that he needs to get everything out of the way before it’s too late though, before he ends up eaten by a Kaiju or drowned in Striker Eureka or so brain damaged that he can’t move anymore, let alone talk. 

Raleigh presses a kiss into Chuck’s cheek; and for a moment the Australian is so distracted by the affection behind the gesture that he doesn’t quite process the way it makes his cheek ache. Most of their touches have been urged on by sex or violence, but today, almost all of them have been oddly.. Soft, light touches and comforting kisses and Chuck isn’t used to being touched like that either. Everything about Raleigh is new and different and it’s so much nicer than Chuck’s usual monotony of movement through his life that he doesn’t know how to handle it or how to respond, but thankfully, Raleigh seems to have a much better grip on the situation. ‘’Who knew you were such a charmer.’’ he says, and hops off the counter, pouring out another cup of coffee into his styrofoam cup and smiling at Chuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Raleigh no


	6. Chapter 6

Chuck isn’t really sure what Raleigh expects from that response, except maybe he thinks he may be able to draw some sort of reaction out of Chuck that isn’t a robotic sounding insult. Chuck finishes off his own cup of coffee, staring at Raleigh before he smiles, not because he’s feeling any better or happier, but because Raleigh always seems to manage with those bright smiles, and god knows that the American is just as broken as Chuck.

Raleigh fumbles with his cup, nearly dropping the Styrofoam in the process. ‘’Dude?” Chuck questions, giving the older man a quizzical look as Raleigh straightens up, placing his cup on the counter firmly like it might start jumping around on it’s own before he finally looks back up at Chuck. 

‘’You’v never smiled at me before.’’ He says, and Chuck doesn't understand why Raleigh looks equally happy and excited because it’s just a smile, and that certainly isn't something that Chuck considers very important; especially not coming from him of all people. Raleigh though, Raleigh had a gorgeous smile that made people instantly want to smile back. But Chuck’s.. He wasn't sure why Raleigh seemed to make such a big deal out of it. 

‘’I’v smiled at you before!’’ Chuck counters indignantly. although while he doesn't remember smiling at Raleigh specifically, he isn’t sure why he would have failed to do so until now; or why Raleigh would have noticed if Chuck smiled did anyway. There has to be some reason Raleigh thinks that, but it’s so unreasonable to assume it’s the first time he’s smiled at the man who he’s had sex with twice -sort of- that Chuck refuses to admit it until it can be further proved.

‘’Trust me, I would remember a smile like that.’’ Raleigh laughs, moving so he’s standing right in front of Chuck and pressing a kiss up against his lips, which no longer taste like he just woke up, and instead taste like sugar and coffee. Chuck immediately frowns again when Raleigh pulls back before he catches himself, and rolls his eyes. ‘’You’re gross.’’ he decides, picking up his empty coffee cup and handing it to Raleigh with a hopeful look on his face. 

Raleigh purses his lips, glancing down with an unimpressed look on his face at the Styrofoam cup. ‘’Gimme another smile and i’ll get you more coffee.’’ he bargains, looking up at Chuck smugly, as if this is an offer that the Australian couldn't refuse. ‘’And you’ll put all the sugar and cream in it?” Chuck asks, still unsure as to why Raleigh likes his smile but completely willing to use it to get more coffee without having to move. Raleigh doesn’t hesitate when he agrees. ‘’You got it.’’ he grins, taking the cup out of Chuck’s hands and giving him an expectant look.

Chuck huffs a breath of laughter and smiles at Raleigh before leaning forward and giving him a vestal kiss on the lips. ‘’You’re so my bitch.’’ he murmurs, and Raleigh rolls his eyes; and for a moment Chuck is struck by the difference from last time he said that to Raleigh. Last time he’d got a sore collarbone and a bruise on his chest, and now he gets an eye roll and a fresh cup of coffee. Will wonders never cease. 

After pouring Chuck’s coffee, Raleigh spends a good minute ripping sugar packets open as Chuck watches him smugly, laughing whenever the older man struggles to open one of the packets or rip open one of the cream packets. ‘’I can’t believe you drink this.’’ Raleigh huffs when he’s done, handing the cup back to Chuck and scooping up the empty packets, tossing them into the bin before he pours his own cup of coffee, leaning against the counter next to Chuck as he takes his first sip. Chuck isn't sure why he enjoys watching Raleigh so much when the older man slowly begins to drink his second cup of coffee, but something about watching the way he moves relaxes Chuck slightly as he continues to drink his own coffee. 

‘’What’s going to happen to Gipsy Danger?” Raleigh seems uncertain when he asks that, and it surprises Chuck slightly. Of course, Chuck has worked in the Jaeger program much, much longer than Raleigh himself, but Raleigh was almost instantly boosted to a Jaeger pilot because his and Yancy’s connection had been one of the strongest neural handshakes that they had seen back then; but it still surprised him slightly when Raleigh asks. ‘’I.. I’d feel terrible being the reason she gets returned to the scrap heap.’’ Raleigh says it like he’s confessing a filthy secret, but for some reason Chuck immediately know's that he understands Raleigh's words. ‘’Pentecost can’t afford not to use her, especially after he spent so much money restoring her.’’ Chuck reasons out loud, but the truth is, he has no idea what Marshal Pentecost would do with Gipsy Danger after that disaster of a neural handshake between Chuck and Mako. 

‘’Mako did so much work on her, I feel like.. I let her down.’’ Chuck watches Raleigh uncertainly as the man continues to speak, but he doesn't seem particularly broken up over his words, more contemplative than anything else; so Chuck takes it more as early-morning rambling than anything else, but he’s still curious about how Raleigh feels about Mako, he can’t help it. ‘’Ray, Mako loves that Jaeger. But she ain’t gonna through a shitfit and blame you if Pentecost declares her off duty again.’’ he says, hoping he’s saying the right things as he sips at his coffee. It seems most likely that Pentecost will just get Raleigh a new co-pilot, but Chuck had no idea where the man would be able to find one. Especially not one as good as Mako. Chuck had seen the readings in the console room, and their Neural handshake had been plenty strong. 

Raleigh snorts into his cup, making the dark coffee ripple around where his breath had disturbed it. ‘’No.’’ He agrees, eyes flicking up to Chuck for a moment before he goes back to staring at the wall in front of him, fingers scratching blind patterns into the Styrofoam cup. ‘’Mako is.. Well.’’ Raleigh purses his lips, trailing off again as he gets caught up in his own thoughts. ‘’She’s tough. But what if Stacker doesn’t give her another chance?” Chuck wonders just how far back Raleigh and Pentecost go if Raleigh refers to the man by his first name, but it’s not really on the top of his list to figure out at the moment, so he does his best to push the thought away, focusing on Raleigh’s point. 

‘’Pentecost can get over protective of her, but Mori won’t stand for it after she gets over the shock of her first drift.’’ Chuck says, hoping that he's right. They had never spoken about it when he and Mako had talked, but it was clearly a sensitive topic still for both Raleigh and Mako. How could it not be? Mako had failed her first handshake after making perfect stimulation scores all her life and Raleigh had felt the emotions of a little girl who had been separated from her parents and could hear a Kaiju stomping all over the entire city just behind her. Chuck was surprised neither of them had suffered anything more than minor headaches after something like that. 

Raleigh opens his mouth to say something, but he seems to be unable to think of anything else to add. Either that, or he just doesn’t want to continue arguing his point when he knows it won’t help anything; Chuck can’t tell. ‘’Mako isn’t weak.’’ Chuck says finally, with an assurance that he's right this time. Chuck doesn’t really have the heart to point out to Raleigh that despite the American’s role in getting Mako into her first Jaeger, Pentecost had been on the verge of giving her Gypsy danger the whole time. That was why the Marshal had let her work so hard on the machine, why he had been so polite when Raleigh had continued to push at Mako’s position as Co-Pilot.

In a way Chuck doesn’t want to give Pentecost as much credit as it takes to say that he planned the whole thing out from the beginning, right down to bringing Raleigh back because he was already aware of the American’s drift compatibility with Mako, but Chuck definitely has suspicions on just how far Pentecost would go to make sure Mako did not look any less favored than another worker. 

Raleigh puts a hand on Chuck’s knee like he’s about to say something, fingers catching in the ripped fabric. ‘’I have to go.’’ He says, surprising Chuck slightly before the Australian forces himself to reason out Raleigh’s words. It was almost oh-five hundred hours, and at some point people would begin waking up enough to venture into the Cafeteria, where Chuck wasn’t quite sure he wanted to be seen spending quality time with Raleigh. 

He feels selfish that he’s so opposed to the idea of anyone else even thinking that he and Raleigh have become anything close to friends, but Chuck is already too used to the glares and less-than-accidental knocks to the shoulder when he’s not with his father; and he doesn’t like the idea of anyone knowing so much as a fraction of his thoughts or feelings towards Raleigh. And the American seems to be on the same page as him, as he had clearly shown when Tendo had waltzed into the room earlier. 

Raleigh reaches up and kisses Chuck again, who reciprocates with barely any hesitation before Raleigh is gone, leaving his cup of coffee on the counter beside Chuck, who thinks he’s beginning to understand why some people enjoyed physical affection. It was comforting, even though Chuck was positive it could easily be faked and mutilated until it wasn’t nice anymore; with Raleigh it was nice, to have someone who actually seemed like they were eager to get closer to him. 

Instead of taking Raleigh’s advice to go seek out his father -there was no way Chuck would get away with waking Herc up at oh-five hundred hours just to tell him he was having sex with Raleigh- Chuck finishes the rest of his coffee and leaves both his and Raleigh’s cups in the waste bin before making his way down to the training room, not bothering to stretch as he picks up the staff he had been working with the shift before and starts over with an easy routine, turning the staff over in his hands and striking it through the air as if it were a sword. The Jaeger program protocol involved a basic training regimen for all of the pilots; both to make sure they could hold their own in a fist fight and to make sure that all pilots were capable of executing the actions necessary to take down certain classifications of Kaiju. To be a pilot, they all had to succeed in a certain amount of training -No one had been desperate enough to send in untrained pilots in 2016- and Chuck had been one of the youngest to get through the program; having had nothing else to do with his time than to learn whatever the Jaeger program threw at him. 

He’s been working for barely fifteen minutes when Mako slips into the training room, silent and stoic as she grabs another staff, surprising Chuck half-way through a wide arc with his staff. She blocks it with her own so strongly that he almost bounces back from the contact. She doesn’t look irritated anymore, instead she looks murderous, livid even, and her eyes are slightly glassy, like she had held back tears recently. 

‘’Hey.’’ He says uncertainly, adjusting his grip slightly on his staff and then changing his stance to match her own, his feet digging into the mat. He hadn’t heard her coming -not that he ever could- but she so rarely showed any emotion besides displeasure or contempt towards him that Chuck wasn’t quite sure how to deal with this new situation. He had always been the loud, annoyed one who started fights because he got carried away shouting at her, and she had always responded by getting quieter -dangerously so- and that was always how their arguments had gone until one of them backed down. This though, this was unmarked territory.

‘’Hey.’’ She mirrors him, the word sounding all too American in her Japanese tongue, but it’s hardly the main focus of her statement; Mako was pissed, and it seemed like Chuck was going to have to work the reason why out of her. She turns fluently, stepping into Chuck’s space and striking out with her staff again, this time grazing Chuck’s side as he fails to dodge quickly enough. 

‘’What’s up?” Chuck tries to keep his voice casual, like he isn’t aware that she looks like a angry wreck and that it’s obvious she’s mad at someone -him- who at the moment has a staff in her hand and is set on beating him with it until she works her anger off. ‘’Raleigh came to visit me.’’ She says tightly, like she might still be holding back those tears that Chuck saw in her eyes; but he doesn’t understand yet, and it’s hard to focus on her words when she turns again, practically skipping forward as she brings his staff down over his head, giving him just enough time to block it. She’s purposely drawing this out Chuck realizes, because Mako is too good to have not gotten in a single strong hit yet. 

‘’Oh yeah? How’s Mr. Wash-up doing?” He says, proud of himself for not sounding like he’s gained any feelings for the guy since he first met Raleigh. Chuck ducks out of Mako’s hitting distance carefully, but she follows him as if she’d expected the move, swinging her staff again, this time aiming to trip him. Chuck jumps, keeping his shins out of the way of Mako’s staff before he tries to go on the offensive, pushing his own staff forward and aiming for chest; but Mako dodges easily, not even breathing hard as she opens her mouth again.

‘’He felt.. Guilty, according to him.’’ She says, and Chuck thinks that maybe they had a good talk about Gipsy Danger getting dumped in the scrap-heap, which might explain Mako’s fury, but Chuck doesn’t understand why it’s being taken out on him. This seemed like the last topic that Mako could somehow blame on him, and Chuck isn’t sure why he’s the one on the mats with her instead of Raleigh. ‘’He said he hadn’t been completely honest with me.’’ She says, jerking her head slightly like she didn’t understand how he had built up the nerve not to be anything other than honest with her. Chuck doesn’t understand it either; Mako scares the ever loving shit out of him when she gets irritated, but it doesn’t explain anything.

‘’Why didn’t you tell me that you were in love with him?” Mako’s words stop Chuck in his tracks, and in the split second he stops Mako trips him, pinning him face-first into the floor with his arm behind his back, twisting it painfully. His staff clatters to the ground a few inches away from his hand, making it impossible to reach. ‘’Jesus fuck-’’ He barks out as he hits the mat, but she only tightens her grip on his arm and forces it backwards just a little bit more. 

‘’You never asked?” He tries, knowing it’s the wrong answer and not being able to stop himself as he says it, but thankfully Mako doesn’t twist his arm anymore, instead she delicately places her knee in the small of his back, right behind his right lung; slowly cutting off his oxygen intake breath by breath. ‘’I haven’t told anyone yet!’’ he says, and it sounds like an excuse even with the blood rushing in his ears loudly. 

‘’Chuck..’’ Mako huffs above him, and for a moment the Australian is tempted to turn his head and try to get a good look at her, but it seems like too much work as black begins to filter into the edges of his vision. She sounds disappointed, like he’s somehow let her down, and while Chuck can’t exactly deny that, it hurts to hear it out loud. Just as Chuck starts to lose the vision in his left eye completely Mako removes her knee, rocking back on her heels and releasing his arm as well. 

Chuck breaths out, rolling onto his back and looking at her. It’s embarrassing how easily she can beat him up, but it’s hard to be embarrassed when theirs just the two of them and Raleigh apparently outed both of them to Mako. Had that been his plan when he left the cafeteria? Chuck wishes Raleigh had told him, but maybe Raleigh didn’t realize that Chuck would be the one to get beaten up for it. ‘’Why didn’t you tell me?” She asks again, and this time Chuck can’t find it in himself to even bother trying to make up a half-assed excuse.

‘’I was scared, okay? I knew you liked him, and i didn’t know if there was like, a-a policy about who you come out to first when you first start getting your dick sucked by a guy - I didn’t even know i was in love with him until like an hour ago! And on top of that-’’ Mako cuts him off, holding up a hand like she’s heard enough of his bitchy complaining. He hadn’t meant to say all of that, but Mako didn’t tease him for it, even if she probably wanted too. ‘’Thats.. That’s plenty of information, Chuck.’’ she says, a slightly alarmed look on her face, like she hadn’t expected him to start going off onto a tirade about Raleigh. 

‘’Sorry.’’ he mumbles, slightly embarrassed himself because he hadn’t meant to say more than he had too. ‘’You’re a terrible person.’’ She sighs, and Chuck has to hold back from flinching at the words. Sitting up, he frowns at her. ‘’For what?” He demands defensively, and he can see her trying to backpedal in her mind, like she hadn’t meant to say that out loud, but the message was clear. ‘’Because you didn’t tell me!’’ she tries to explain, but Chuck shakes his head. He’d had enough of this, if the only person he could really consider a friend thought he was a bad person because he didn’t push Raleigh away and tell him to go make out with Mako instead.. Well, Chuck didn’t want to deal with all that right now. 

He stands up, and Mako purses her lips, but doesn’t try to stop him from leaving as he picks up his staff and tosses it in the corner. He doesn’t think he’s physically capable of looking at Raleigh right now without becoming irritated, so Chuck doesn’t bother; he doesn’t want to die after he just spent so long yelling at the American, so he leaves it alone, going instead down to where they kept Striker Eureka, hoping to avoid any confrontation for at least a few hours. 

Chuck finds himself fighting back the impulse to punch something or yell at someone who cries easily as he makes his way through the Shatterdome, silently fuming to himself. It’s as if Mako had taken all of her anger and dumped it all onto him when they’d sparred -however short lived the match had been- and all Chuck wants to do is wear himself out until he can’t be angry anymore because he doesn’t have the energy; but he’d needed to get out of the training room to get away from Mako, and now he’s too irritated at her to go back and risk seeing her. He likes Mako, and Raleigh, and Chuck hadn’t known how infuriating it would be to have to hold himself back from being mean to either them. 

Making his way down to Striker Eureka seems to take longer than it usually does as Chuck stomps over countless ventilation grates and glares at anyone who even glances at him. Right now, Chuck is ready for the double-attack, he’s ready to jump in his Jaegers conn-pod and kick some Kaiju ass whether it means drifting with his father or not; but of course the attacks couldn’t be planned around whenever Chuck is most pissed off. 

Eventually Chuck does make it down to where they keep Striker Eureka so the mechanics have good access to all of her parts, and as he walks in no one so much as bats an eyelash, which is entirely too welcome to Chuck at the moment. A dark-skinned girl in a tank-top and one of the Mechanics jumpsuits with the arms tied around her waist passes him, then stops and turns back, holding out a wrench to him. ‘’Panel three hundred A needs to be tightened.’’ she informs him, and gives him a quick smile before departing as quickly she had come. Chuck is fairly certain her name is either Belle or Tristan, but it doesn’t make a difference because she’s already gone. 

Chuck is grateful for the minimal interaction as he makes his way towards Striker Eureka. Mentally he has to catalog nearly half of the machine before he figures out that Panel three hundred A is a flexible cut of metal in her foot right on the surface. Her feet are pressurized and highly sealed so she can deal with the pressures under water, and the metal plates constantly have to be unscrewed and flattened out because of the rough ocean floor. He wasn’t required to know all of this to be a pilot, but Chuck had found it somewhat soothing to learn as much as he could about his girl before he went and battled enormous aliens out in the Pacific Ocean in her. 

The wrench is a dead weight in his hand that drives out his thoughts for a few minutes as he leans over Striker Eureka’s foot, working on a heavy bolt that’s nearly the size of his fist. There are several over the length of metal, and Chuck is vaguely thankful for being given a job that was so thoughtless and time consuming. 

It’s Raleigh’s fault, really, that everything had come down so suddenly, but Chuck can’t deal with the pain in his chest that it causes him when he tries too hard to blame the American for anything. He also wants to blame Mako, but she’s only to blame for his current bad mood; which isn’t really news to anyone. Chuck can’t even properly blame his father because he’s been so set on ignoring the man that there’s no way Herc could have done anything to worsen the situation. Which leaves Chuck irritated and blaming himself for being a coward and an idiot who can’t have sex with someone without apparently falling in love with them. 

He hasn’t even told Raleigh that he loves him yet, but Chuck doesn’t plan to unless he makes it past the apocalypse alive. Then, if he can work up the nerve, he might tell Raleigh he loves him; but until then, Chuck is going to continue ignore the fact until it either goes away or he goes away. It’s as simple as that; that way it will hurt him less because he’ll never get rejected, and if Raleigh feels the same way, then it will hurt less to have had it out in the open. Probably.


	7. Chapter 7

There’s a radio set somewhere beside him, left on an old country station that seems to have about four different songs on loop; It takes Chuck a while before he realizes that the songs aren’t even that old, that they were possibly released within the last year, but they’re all made to sound like they were from the time period before Trespasser. It makes Chuck a little bit nostalgic to think about the years before Trespasser, when his mom was still alive and Herc actually bothered to try to spend time with him. When someone turns the music down, Chuck’s head snaps up, an automatic ‘’I was listening to that.’’ already tumbling out of his mouth before he realizes who had been the one to change the volume. 

‘’Who are you?” Those are the words that come out of Herc Hansens mouth as he stares down his son, and for a moment Chuck is confused by the question. Why is Herc asking? ‘’What?” 

Herc shoves the radio onto the floor, and it bounces with a clatter that makes Chuck wince, his heart beat rising at the movement. It was a shop-floor model, and the radio was to tough to break, but that didn’t make it the gesture behind the movement any less severe. ‘’Who are you?” Herc demands again, stepping up into Chuck’s space, forcing the younger Hansen to look at him. Chuck is more than bewildered by all of his fathers actions, and for a moment he almost begins to try to tell his father about Raleigh; but it’s not the right time, and Chuck is clearly being challenged. 

He’s tempted to say something about being Herc’s son, just to watch his father react, but his old man looks so serious that Chuck realizes he has to come up with a vaguely serious answer for this. It was a stupidly hard question to answer, and Chuck is slightly irritated at his father for managing to ask the one thing that he currently had no true answer too. ‘’I’m the only chance we’ve got to deliver that bomb, is who I am-’’ he says finally, but Herc cuts him off. It sounds like something he would have said last week, even though now his words sound like bullshit even in his own ears, and Herc could probably hear it as well. 

‘’Not the point.’’ Herc growls, and Chuck wonders if Raleigh had managed to tell his father about them as well -Chuck needed to reconsider falling for people with morals- but reasonably, Herc would be much more livid if he found out Chuck was gay; Chuck was sure of that much, at least. 

Chuck pushes on with his story, trying to make it sound convincing. ‘’-but I’m stuck with two prison guards, the basketball triplets, Tokyo pop, and a washout.’’ He says, grimacing even as he says it out loud; It’s painful to think that he’s changed so much because of Raleigh, but even more painful to think that he’s going to die looking like a bitch because he couldn’t stop seeing his team mates as imbeciles and competition.

‘’Not the point!’’ Herc says again, this time it’s louder, and he’s practically yelling in Chuck’s face. 

Chuck doesn’t flinch, instead he raises his voice to match his fathers, too pissed off to hold back anymore. ‘’Pentecost may be a good man, but he hasn’t seen combat in, what? Ten years, maybe? More?” Chuck hates what he’s going to have to do; he hates Pentecost for assigning Striker Eureka and he hates himself for suddenly having a problem with it after years of training for this one moment. ‘’The only chance we’ve got at a future is delivering that bomb, and I am the one doing it-’’ 'The only chance we’ve got at a future' Chuck wants to vomit at how fake the words are. The only people who have a chance at a future are the people who aren’t going to the bottom of one of the deepest parts of the pacific ocean with a nuke strapped on their back.

‘’That’s not what i’m talking about!’’ Herc yells, and Chuck yells back, to frustrated and tired to bother trying to resolve the argument. Stubborn is one of Chuck’s strongest -not necessarily best, but strongest- qualities, and he has become very adapt to using it to defend himself. 

‘’That’s who I am!’’ he barks, and he watches as his father seems to mentally drop a few notches, as if those words made him disapprove of something else that wasn’t flawless about his boy. Chuck’s temper reels at the look in Herc’s eyes, the way he thinks he’s being subtle, when the older Hansen thinks he even has the right to be disappointed in Chuck.

‘’I know,’’ Herc starts, and his voice is a little bit quieter this time. ‘’I know you’re a great Ranger, and i’m proud of that.’’ Chuck wants to yell at Herc that he has no right to say he’s proud, because his father had nothing to do with any of this, he had nothing to do with Chuck’s success or his motivation; Herc had done nothing for Chuck except been a co-pilot, but the old man doesn’t seem to understand that. ‘’But dammit, kid.. Why aren’t you a better person? Why didn’t I make you a better person?” Herc’s words feel like a stab in the throat, and for a moment Chuck doesn’t think he can breath. ‘’A better person?” He echos, trying his best to sound incredulous as if he couldn’t believe Herc thought he wasn’t gold-star material; but it comes out sounding broken and hurt.

‘’Don’t blame yourself. It’s not like you really brought me up anyway.’’ Chuck wishes that he could make his words sting Herc as much as the older mans words had stung him, but he knows better than to think that his words could move his father like that by now. ‘’After mom died, I spent more time with these machines than I ever did with you.’’ He taps the wrench that’s still clutched tightly in his fist against the metal plate of Striker Eureka’s arch fondly.

Chuck grudgingly realizes that everyone is expecting to die now; the end of the world is looming just a few days ahead and everyone was trying to say their last words, weren’t they? The Australian can’t say he’s very surprised that the only thing anyone has to say to him is that he’s a dick, and that he should have managed to raise himself better; but that doesn’t mean it hurts any less. He wouldn’t mind any of the people he’d never even attempted to talk to informing him of this, it would have been easy to shake off, in fact. But both Mako and his Father seemed to be people that he legitimately cared for, and they both seemed to be on the same page about their feelings towards him.

He doesn’t even want to guess what Raleigh would have to say to him if the American decided to be as brutally honest as his father was being now; just the thought makes Chuck’s chest hurt. He really shouldn’t have gotten so attached to Raleigh so close to the apocalypse. In fact Chuck is painfully aware that he shouldn’t have gotten attached to Raleigh at all, considering how he had known Mako liked him; or even after he’d told himself not to get attached while hiding with Max in the bathroom. That was the only moment of clarity he had apparently had since Raleigh Becket had been shipped back to the Hong Kong Shatterdome. 

Herc’s eyes look the closest to glazed over Chuck has ever seen them, and for a selfish moment he hopes that his father is in some sort of emotional pain; or even better, a moment of realization of what a hopeless father he’s been to Chuck all these years. 

‘’Lets face it.’’ Chuck says, with no qualms of taking advantage of his fathers momentary emotional weakness. ‘’The only reason we even speak today is because we’re Drift-compatible. Because we’re good at smashing things together. In fact, we don’t even need to speak.’’ Chuck doesn’t look back up at his father as he stoops and picks up the slightly-dented radio off of the floor and resets the station, dialing it back up to the volume it had been at before. 

‘’Catch you in the Drift, Dad.’’ he says, and turns the volume up just a little bit higher to urge Herc to leave him alone for as long as possible, not wanting to have to talk to him any longer. 

There’s a part of Chuck that know’s he should tell his father about Raleigh, at least enough that it won’t cause any problems in the Drift, but Chuck isn’t interested in any conversation with anyone right now. Not Mako, not his Father, and not Raleigh. He doesn’t even have the patience to let Max out of his quarters, where he know’s the dog has been locked up all afternoon. He’s to tired to deal with anything verbally right now; he just wants to sit and gather up blisters on the palms of his hands from the metal wrench as he works on Striker Eureka. 

\---

Chuck thinks it’s been two or three hours since he and his father got into a shouting match down in the Jaeger Bay beside Striker Eureka when the alarm goes off, and he feels exhausted as he stands up and gets out of the way of the mechanics, instead striding into the Command Deck. Pentecost and Tendo Choi are standing front and center in the room, each quietly scanning the monitors in front of them. There are technicians littered around the room in their own stations silently, as well as Gottlieb, his father, and Mako. Raleigh slides into the room at the same time Chuck does, looking a little bit disheveled and tired; and Chuck makes a mental note that Raleigh has changed from Chuck’s shirt back into his own navy blue sweater, dog tags hidden under the fabric. 

Raleigh seems to be in his element as he moves to stand next to Mako, going into a stiff attention like a soldier awaiting orders before sharing a small smile with Mako, which she returns so readily that Chuck wonders if she blames him entirely for somehow managing to seduce Raleigh. But that can’t be right, because Chuck know’s Mako is smart; she wouldn’t try to pin something on Chuck just because she likes Raleigh more. 

Frowning, Chuck moves to the opposite side of the Command Deck as Raleigh to stand next to his father grudgingly. He didn't want to be in such close contact just yet, but it was protocol to find your co-pilot whenever a Kaiju landed, even if you weren't going to be deployed. Herc spares him a quick glance and Chuck bristles slightly, but doesn't bother voicing it to the man; they'll be in each others heads soon enough, it was pointless to try and talk now. 

When he remembers that they’ll be in each others heads again though, Chuck sneaks a glance at Herc. His father won’t want to hear anything he has to say while they’re suiting up, there's never been a reason to talk before they drifted before now; but Chuck doesn't know if it will affect their drift if Herc gets stuck on his sons memories of Raleigh, if it could affect how many people are killed by the Kaiju or not. 

His voice slightly blurred and tuned out by Chuck’s mind, one of the Wei triplets speaks up first. ‘’We’re going out there.’’ Chuck thinks it might be Hu speaking now, but the triplets get a kick out of confusing people so Chuck rarely tries to differentiate them anymore. ‘’No matter what.’’ The Wei triplet sounds determined, as if this particular Kaiju has personally offended them somehow. 

Chuck is only pulled out of his own mind completely when Sasha Kaidanovsky speaks up. ‘’So are we.’’ She says, before turning to point a pale finger at Raleigh. ‘’But not with them.’’ Chuck snorts. ‘’Well said, Red sister.’’ he says with a smirk, and Herc discretely digs his elbow into his sons ribs, doing his best to quiet him. Mako frowns, but Chuck can feel Raleigh’s eyes on him without even looking at the American, and he briefly allows himself to revel in the feeling of being the point of Raleigh’s sole focus, if even for only a few seconds. 

Pentecost cuts off any other words with a flattening motion of one hand, and Chuck can hear the way at least two peoples breath catches in their throats as they had sucked it in to retort something else. 

Gottlieb steps into the pause. ‘’Sir,’’ he says, tugging off his glasses with his thumb and letting them hang around his neck as he speaks. ‘’You have to hold off. My parabola was right. We may lose a city, but we must preserve the Jaegers for the mission we need to hold ground.’’ Chuck wonders how the man could be so smart and still talk like such a dweeb. Gottlieb is barely thirty, and he still manages to look as if he's seventy more often than not.

That did seem to be the moral dilemma that practically suffocated the Command Deck now; they needed all of the Jaegers they had for Operation Pitfall; but the Kaiju were now here as the spoke and no-one wanted to stand by and watch a Kaiju destroy all of Hong Kong without so much as lifting a finger to help them. Chuck is glad the decision isn’t his call, for once.

‘’Hey.’’ Herc’s voice is gruff and irritated and right next to Chuck as his old man speaks up. ‘’It’s a city of ten million people against numbers on your chalkboard.’’ There’s a hint of something like a growl in the elder Hansens voice that makes Chuck stiffen up, eyes staring unseeingly directly in front of him so he doesn’t have to look at his father. He’s unused to that tone being used towards anyone but him, but hearing it directed towards someone else somehow fails to make it any better.

‘’My numbers are correct. A city of ten million to the world? We cannot save everyone.’’ Gottlieb sounds stiff, his voice turning into a monotonous drone as he continues to speak. Chuck know’s what he’s saying even without listening, but hearing the egghead repeat it wasn’t helping anyone make an already hard-enough decision. The egghead is repeating the math as if he could somehow make it more clear that they only have three Jaegers to save the world with. 

This time it’s Raleigh that speaks up, and theres a hint of resentment in his voice when he starts to speak, despite the resignation in his eyes. ‘’You can’t save everyone,’’ he says, and Chuck wonders what he’s missing when he can hear the ice in Raleigh’s tone. ‘’Right?” He’s clearly talking only to Pentecost now, ignoring everyone else in the room. Pentecost turned around after another short pause, but he still refuses to look at Raleigh.

‘’Crimson Typhoon, Cherno Alpha.’’ He says finally, and Chuck can tell that the five pilots instantly feel back in their element at the sound of orders to carry out. ‘’Frontline the harbor. Stay on the Miracle Mile.’’ Then he turns to Chuck and his father, and Chuck feels pathetic for how much he wants to get out in the field, how much he craves working off some amount of nervous energy. 

‘’Striker Eureka, stay in the back and guard the coastline. We cannot lose you, so only engage as a final option.’’ Chuck withholds a flinch. He know’s that Striker Eureka and her pilots are the only thing between the world and a shit ton of Kaiju, but it doesn’t make it any easier; staying on the coastline will ensure them absolutely no action unless one of the Kaiju prove harder to beat than the previous aliens. 

‘’Yes sir.’’ Herc says, and his voice warms slightly when he’s talking to Pentecost instead of Gottlieb, and Chuck wants to sneer at it. His father and the Marshal go back a few years longer than when they had been transferred to Hong Kong, but it was still painful to watch them try to interact with a professional manner. 

Pentecost turns to Raleigh and Mako just as Herc and Chuck turn around to leave, and Chuck can’t shake off his curiosity so he turns slightly, just enough to get a good view of Raleigh as Pentecost speaks. The American still looks irritated about something, but it’s such a subtle feature that Chuck isn’t’ sure if anyone else had noticed. ‘’You two-’’ He says, and Gipsy Danger’s pilots automatically straighten up slightly, either out of hope or guilt Chuck isn’t sure. ‘’Stay put.’’ Pentecost says, and Chuck can’t help the gloating grin that slides over his features.

Mako spots him over Pentecost’s shoulder and frowns at him. Chuck’s reasonable side -he’s been ignoring it fantastically lately- tells him he shouldn’t be so entertained by this, that this could have been Mako’s last chance to get in a Jaeger before going on the most dangerous mission of her life and now her chance had been battered; but Chuck is still pissed at her for calling him out, and the way she reacts only goads on his current distaste for her further.

Raleigh looks embarrassed at being told to stay put, his eyes flicker down the the floor for a moment before he looks up and catches Chuck’s grin. His reaction is entirely different from Mako’s; he looks like he’s barely containing a blush and for a moment, Chuck wants to slip over to him and say something sarcastic like ‘maybe next time’ just to get under Raleigh’s skin, before kissing him and telling the American not to be embarrassed, regulation aside. When Raleigh finally manages to meet Chuck’s eye the muscles in his jaw are clenched and he gives Chuck a tight smile that makes the Australian’s chest hurt, because Raleigh honestly looks embarrassed to a point of ferocity with himself that's hard to look at in the American's face. Chuck doesn't want Raleigh to blame himself for being grounded. 

As soon as the attention is off of him though, Raleigh mouths a quick ‘Good luck’ and nods towards Chuck, looking warily down at Mako and across to Pentecost to make sure neither of them saw. It’s not as if Chuck is doing anything more than Coastline control -aka sitting on his ass while the others did all the work- but there's a tinge of worry in Raleigh’s eyes that keeps the sarcasm out of Chuck’s reaction when he gives the older man a quick nod of understanding.

Chuck is about to say more when he feels a hand on his forearm and Herc giving him an impatient look; but theres no doubt in Chuck’s mind that all Herc saw -if anything- was Chuck being rude to Becket because he had been given a chance too. ‘’Time to suit up, kid.’’ Herc says as if it was Chuck’s first day in the dome, and for a moment Chuck feels a surge of distaste for the man he currently hates calling his father. ‘’I’m coming, old man.’’ He rolls his eyes, shaking his arm out of Herc’s grip and striding ahead of him.

The body suits are like armor; though Chuck never quite understood why. There was a skin-tight suit that went on first, just a little bit thinner than a wet-suit, completely black all over. After that there were technicians that would carefully place on the shoulders and chest piece; the forearm guards that had rivets in them where the harness in the Conn-pod would grab them. Last came the spine, which was the highly-charged metal length of chained together plates that went along just over the pilots spine. This was the part that connected all of the movements in the Conn-pod -like the plasma cannons- to the Jaeger. The whole process of suiting up had been perfected to a three minute and twenty-eight second process to minimize time for the Kaiju to get too close to the coastline. 

Chuck and Herc don’t talk at all during any of this on average; there’s rarely anything important enough to say to each other that they need to say it before they’re plugged into each others brains, and even then it’s hard to break the silence. Chuck used to find it calming and relaxing, like a routine they did for three minutes and twenty-eight seconds before going off to fight; but now Chuck hates it just as much as he hates the talking. He’s still young by most peoples standards, but Chuck’s idea of his own age has always been based on his own actions; and now he feels like he’s at least forty years old, bitter and exhausted by everything.

‘’Chuck.’’ Herc’s name makes Chuck want to drop his head on his chest and go to sleep. ‘’Chuck.’’ Herc speaks up again, and Chuck purses his lips, but turns his head slightly so daddy dearest can feel acknowledged. ‘’Look at me, boy.’’ Chuck is glad that there’s barely a minute left in the process so he doesn’t have to endure too long of a lecture as he finally turns his head completely, raising his eyebrows at his father expectantly. ‘’Be careful.’’ Chuck had expected more, but that’s all that the elder Hansen says before a technician yells ‘’Uniform sequence complete!’’ and their both ushered into the Conn-pod. Chuck wonders what that means, or even why Herc would feel the need to tell him that now. 

‘’Dad?” he pipes up as the mechanical arms in the Conn-pod latch onto his forearms, a faint yank and a click as the system settles in position. He feels like he’s seventeen again, shaking and nervous as the Tendo’s voice comes over the loud-speaker, asking if they were ready for the drop sequence. Chuck pulls himself together slightly, his throat working as he tells himself that he’s twenty one, and that he is most certainly not shaking as he reaches up and taps the control panel with a bit more force than necessary. ‘’Read for drop sequence.’’ He says, and clicks off the control panel for a moment before mumbling, ‘’You be careful too.’’ in a voice that sounds so unsure of itself that Chuck hates himself for it. 

The head drops, and Chuck’s stomach lurches slightly like it does every time they initiate the drop sequence. Mechanically and methodically, the head of Striker Eureka connects to it’s shoulders, metal clamps being hastily assembled and pushed into their places. Marshal Pentecost’s face appears on the screen before him, and he looks stern. Chuck narrows his eyes at the smudge of blood under his lip, but keeps his trap shut while the Marshal speaks. ‘’Remember, Rangers, stick to the coastline.’’ He says, and Chuck is painfully that Pentecost’s eyes are only on him when he says it. Herc isn’t the loose cannon in this situation, Marshal Pentecost is confident in the elder Hansen to follow orders. But Chuck? Pentecost always made a point of ‘helpfully reminding’ Chuck of the exact rules and regulations in the Shatterdome.

‘’In tune for a Neural handshake boys?” Tendo’s voice says over the comm, and Herc confirms it, but Chuck hesitates; his hands are dangerously close to shaking in his suit and he can feel his father looking at him as he confirms, sliding on his helmet and closing his eyes. 

Dad lookit the snake Chuck was ankle deep in red mud, grubby fingers wrapped around a long brown garden snake just behind it’s head. Don’t offer me that i will take it from you His uncle offering him a shot in the hangar behind Striker Eureka in Sydney. To have and to hold, till death do us part. Till death till us part oh god Allison please don’t do this to me don’t do this to-   
Raleigh was pressing his lips into Chuck’s jaw, laughing quietly as he slips off the counter. Allison is smoking a cigarette when Herc gently pulls it out of her fingers ‘the baby’ he reminds her softly. Raleigh’s chest is warm when Chuck pushes up his sweater, but his dog tags are cold. Dad lookit the snake; don’t do this to me.

Chuck blinks his eyes open, his ears ringing slightly as he tunes into Tendo’s voice. ‘’Neural Handshake is strong and holding.’’ He says over the comm, and Chuck is scared to look over at his father, so instead he straightens up, adjusting his arms and legs in the Comm-pods hold, and he can feel it when Herc does the same. There’s confusion and accusation and annoyance all at once in his head, and Chuck is positive it’s from his father, but he can also feel a tinge of regret that he can’t place; that he can’t decide if it’s from his mind or his fathers. 

The Jumphawks lift them out of the petals of the Shatterdome and Chuck still doesn’t look at Herc. His efforts are dashed to pieces when Tendo pipes up over the comm again. ‘’Junior your heart rates a bit high. Are you checking out okay?” Theres a hint of genuine concern in the technicians voice, but Chuck ignores that in favor of sucking in a deep breath. ‘’I’m fine, Mr. Choi.’’ he says, clenching his hands into fists and sucking in another breath. 

Chuck had been so busy thinking about Herc’s reaction, he hadn’t spared a single second of thought to think of how to handle his own agitated response to the idea of his father seeing everything in the Drift. There hadn't been too much, thank fuck there was nothing to.. Detailed, but what there had been glimpses of where the moments where Chuck had been overwhelmed by his feelings for Raleigh, which didn’t seem like too much better of an option at the moment. There would be no way to back out of it now, no excuses about Raleigh that the elder Hansen wouldn’t see right through.

‘’Reaching coastline.’’ Herc’s voice only sounds slightly strangled as he taps the comm on with his finger. ‘’Disengaging transport.’’ The Jumphawks disengage the cords and Chuck is hyper-aware that the noise of their choppers fades away as the leap into the air at the lightened load. They fall out of the sky and into the ocean, water splashing up around them as they submerge completely before Chuck and Herc begin to work her up so her screens will spot any oncoming Kaiju. Tendo will alert them if one gets past Cherno Alpha or the Crimson Typhoon, but it’s good to have their visuals clear. 

Chuck isn’t sure if he’s thankful for the silence in the Conn-pod emanating from his father or if it’s only making his own anxieties worse to have such severe emotion coming from his father in his head, unvoiced and too out of focus for Chuck to decode what they mean. He almost wants to ask, but he thinks maybe that’s not a good idea. 

Chuck can feel himself chewing on his bottom lip as they stand by, thigh-deep in the pacific ocean as they wait for what they hope to be a clean mission to end. He had dreaded the idea of telling Herc so much that he’d barely even considers what it would be like, trapped in a Jaeger with a no-doubt disapproving father right after he had accidentally come out via mind-sync. He wished his father would speak up now, or -and this was a really desperate thought- hurry to tell him that he didn’t think any differently of Chuck because of it. The younger Hansen wasn’t even sure if he was gay, or if he was an odd combination, or if he just wanted to see how long Raleigh would keep putting up with him. 

Reports come in from Cherno Alpha and Crimson Typhoon, each reporting their safe drop. Chuck is barely listening until Tendo’s voice crackles to life again, informing the two Jaegers of Kaiju approaching fast. It’s painful to think of how much his father must understand what Chuck wants from and is still choosing to keep quiet about it, but Chuck is too much of a coward to actually open his mouth and start speaking to Herc.

‘’How.. Uh, how long have you been keeping this from me?” Those are the first words out of Herc’s mouth, and Chuck bites the inside of his cheek to keep from telling his father not to make it about him. It was about him after all, in a way, and Chuck didn’t want to get off topic as he sucks in a shaky breath. Was he going to start crying? Chuck didn’t feel like crying; crying was the last thing he wanted to do in this situation, but already it was getting harder to breath. ‘’Just a few days,’’ Chuck wonders if Herc is as uncomfortable as he is. Probably. ‘’But we weren’t.. Keeping it from you, I mean, I just..’’ Chuck isn’t sure what to say, but Herc figures it out, either because of the drift or because of a miracle Chuck wasn’t sure.

‘’there was never a good time.’’ Herc finishes for him, and Chuck exhales sharply, relief at the understanding stabbing at him. ‘’Kid, there’s never a good time; sometimes you just gotta power through.’’ Chuck almost rolls his eyes, but it’s nice to think that despite the horrendous conversation they were having Herc still sounded like his father. ‘’Yeah, i’m still working on that.’’ 

‘’Okay, so what about Raleigh?” Chuck doesn’t understand why his father had taken so long to respond now that Herc is actually talking; because now he can’t overcome the feeling that Herc had only taken so long so he could contain his own emotions enough so they wouldn’t leak into the conversation, which was sometimes even worse than when he didn’t. ‘’What about him?’’ Chuck asks, trying to sound as innocent as possible.

‘’I mean, what about Raleigh suddenly made you..’’ Chuck can feel himself holding his breath, waiting for the other shoe to drop and Herc go off on some sort of irritable tirade about the only way to come out as gay was to dance around in sequined booty shorts. ‘’Change your mind?” Herc finishes, and Chuck doesn’t understand why his father is suddenly being so nice to him. Was it just an opportunity to him? Some sort of leverage to be able to say he had been kind to Chuck when he told him about Raleigh? 

‘’Stop doubting me, Kid, I actually do love you.’’ Herc snaps, and Chuck feels relieved at the way his father raises his voice; at least that was something familiar. ‘’Could’a fooled me, old man.’’ he retorts, but theres less bite behind it than there should be. ‘’I guess.. He..’’ Chuck has no idea why he’s become so attached to Raleigh. ‘’He gives really, really good blowjobs, Dad.’’ Chuck says, to cover up the small realization that he can’t give a good explanation for why he thinks he’s in love with Raleigh. Because the American’s affectionate? Because it’s so strange and different to feel loved for once in his life? Chuck doesn’t like the way that sounds. 

Herc winces slightly, and Chuck thinks he can feel more than an inkling of disgust and embarrassment that are definitely from his fathers side of the drift, but before Herc can respond with anything other than an inhuman noise that Chuck can most accurately label as ‘troubled’, Another report came up on their monitors. The Crimson Typhoon was dead in the water, and it pained Chuck to be forced into acknowledgement that they would be coming this with three less pilots. ‘’Typhoon is no longer combat-operational.’’ Tendo’s voice sounds over the Comm-pod, and his voice sounds a little bit hollow. Losing pilots was never easy for anyone, but Tendo had seen too many deaths to count as of late.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quite a few of these lines were taken from the official Pacific Rim novelization, which was written by Alex Irvine!


	8. Chapter 8

‘’LOCCENT.’’ Herc barks over the comm, and Chuck freezes, momentarily petrified by the thought that the communications system could have been activated throughout that entire conversation. ‘’Typhoon and Alpha are in trouble, we’re going in.’’ Chuck waits until he’s done mentally making sure that the comm had in fact been turned off before he lets himself be impressed by how quickly his father had changed from being a vaguely caring parent to ready to put himself in between Hong Kong and the Kaiju when Crimson Typhoon went down. 

‘’You are to stand your ground.’’ Pentecost’s gratingly calm voice replies. ‘’Do not engage. Hold your position!’’ he repeats, and Chuck feels an immediate surge of irritation for Pentecost so irrationally sacrificing the Russians as if they were pawns because he couldn’t bring himself to play his queen. ‘’Fuck!’’ he growls, and from the feeling in the drift Chuck is sure that his father feels the same way, despite his capability to keep his composure.

The Crimson Typhoon was sunk up to it’s chest in the ocean, and for the first time Chuck gets a clear view of Leatherback. The Kaiju is huge, bigger than the Kaiju before him as he straightens up from his apparently crouched position over the Wei triplets Jaeger. It’s possible one of the triplets survived, but it was so unlikely that Chuck didn’t even try to hope. He’d never been friends with them, the triplets had always kept to themselves as much as possible, but it wasn’t easy to watch three top notch pilots go down like that.

Barely fifty feet away from them, Cherno Alpha was poorly holding her own against Otachi, which was just as big as Leatherback and pounding into the old Jaegers metallic hull mercilessly. It was hard to watch, and Chuck couldn't imagine what it must like in the Command Deck, with the live feed of Sasha and Aleksis fighting the hulking Kaiju. 

Chuck watches in barely contained horror as the two Kaiju team up on Cherno Alpha, battering her deeper into the water. His mouth feels dry as Leatherback and Otachi both continue to beat the drowning Jaeger into the ocean. He’s watched nearly seven Jaegers go down in the line of duty, some with survivors and more without, but it doesn’t make it any less horrific to see it. None of the five pilots they were with tonight deserved to go out like that, and yet that was still there fate, to be drowned with a giant alien team up beating into their Jaeger. 

This is the only way they would have it Chuck catches those nine words in the drift, and he know’s that they are not his own this time. When he turns to look Herc looks just as pale and queasy at the sight in front of them, but theres a determination in his eyes as well. ‘’Screw this.’’ Herc says over the comm, and Chuck can tell that this time, if Pentecost tries to tell them to back down then they sure as hell aren’t going to. ‘’LOCCENT, we’re moving in.’’ 

Striker Eureka moves faster than any of their remaining Jaegers, the Mark V swiftly cutting it’s way through the water from the coastline to where Cherno Alpha is beginning to slowly de-pressurize, sinking lower underwater and causing bubbles of air to rise to the surface periodically. Herc Hansen's determination is all that Chuck can cling onto as the move in though, and it’s easy to rebound and reflect the feelings when they’re stuck inside the drift. 

They zero in on Otachi first, and unsaid hope that by doing so it cannot deal it’s killing blow to Cherno Alpha. The Jaeger is decommissioned already, but theres still a chance they can save the pilots. The Kaiju is taken off guard by Eureka’s fluidity compared to the first to Jaegers, and for a moment the Hansen's are able to keep the upper hand, dealing blow after blow to the Kaiju to keep it from the coastline, but Chuck can’t tell if they’re making any real progress through the thick exterior armor that the Kaiju has covering it’s body. 

Chuck silently thanks his practice fighting with his father now, all of their connection learned from bar fights is already there even without the Drift to connect their minds; Chuck knows which movement and strike his father will use next even before he can feel it in Herc’s mind. The Kaiju gets in it’s first good blow, using the horns that were clearly made for ramming on it’s forehead to bowl over Striker, but the Jaeger doesn’t lose her balance, and they continue to fight. Every time they get in a good slash Otachi’s blood will splatter and sizzle over everything it touches, the Kaiju Blue causing the sea to become even more disturbed and waves of heat to ripple off of Striker Eureka’s chest. 

They’re winning, Chuck thinks now, their going to defeat Otachi before the Kaiju can do any more damage than it already has, and he can feel in the Drift that Herc thinks so too; the elder Hansen is more wary, less ready to admit that they can do this than Chuck, but the spark of the idea is there in the back of both of their minds. 

Otachi gets in another blow straight into Striker Eureka’s left arm, and the pain simulators shock Chuck so badly that he can’t help the yell of frustration and pain that comes out of his mouth; but the pain only stimulate his adrenaline further, and his heart rate picks up again. It’s exhilarating really, the shock of the Kaiju ramming its head into his arm only manages to make Chuck more determined to kill the alien. 

Tendo’s voice crackles again, and Chuck finds himself dreading the words that have already been running through his head since Cherno Alpha’s lights shut off. ‘’Cherno Alpha is down.’’ The technician says without inflection, like a robot; and Chuck can feel the way that his father winces in sympathy at the words. ‘’Striker, repeat: Cherno is down. Leatherback has sounded.” 

‘’Got it.’’ Chuck grits out, at the same time his father does. They can’t stop now though, they can’t go and try to help Cherno Alpha’s pilots either. After stunning Otachi with a double-fisted blow over it’s head, Chuck and Herc grab onto the alien’s horns and toss it away from them as far as they could, shoving it with all of Striker Eureka’s power. 

‘’Engage missiles.’’ Herc says, and Chuck can’t help the grin that filters over his face. Missiles are rarely needed against Kaiju, but they’re one of Chuck’s favorite extensions to Striker Eureka’s massive weapon haul. ‘’On it.’’ he confirms, and twists his arm, causing the automatic holo-gauntlet to spring to life around his wrist, and he sets the missiles into ready position fluidly.

‘’Ready Salvo one.’’ Chuck says after a moment, and aims the missile directly at Otachi’s head. ‘’Say good night, Otachi!’’ he says with more glee than is probably needed, but before he can fire Tendo begins talking again, an urgency in his voice. ‘’Warning, Striker Eureka, Leatherback on your flank, eight o’clock.’’ 

‘’Salvo one-’’ Herc starts to say, probably to re-aim the missile at the new threat to keep them both at bay, but his order is drowned out by a fierce sound of crackling that was louder than thunder, an electrical shock-wave bursting from Leatherback.

The bolts raked across the surface of the ocean, the energy around it causing the water to split below it, splashing out on either side as it made it’s way to Stiker Eureka. The sound it made on impact was almost deafening, though not as loud as it’s initial burst, and almost as soon as the sound hits all of the Jaegers lights go out, and the missiles power down unfired. There’s bursts of fear and confusion in the Drift between the Hansen's as the Jaegers energy dies, and Chuck can practically smell his own fear rebounding back on him. 

‘’What the hell is this?” He yells, but it’s not to hard to figure out what’s happened: The Kaiju are simply more evolved than they thought, and they’d figured out how to somehow create an organic sort of plasma cannon that ripped through the Jaegers electrical systems. Across from him, Herc unlatches himself from the control platform and went to the port side of the cockpit, trying to see exactly what happened. 

Chuck isn’t sure if anyone back at LOCCENT has figured it out yet -surely someone has- but the Kaiju don’t seem to be on the defensive anymore; and the Australian doesn’t know why they hadn’t realized before that the Kaiju were going on the offensive this time. They were creating weapons now, not just soldiers, and that in itself was a sure sign that they had begun to take a few tips from the human race. At least they've got style Chuck thinks, and he can feel the disapproval of his though emanating from his father.

Leatherback comes into view in front of the screen, and Chuck can’t help but be impressed by the Kaiju. In ways it looks like Otachi, but it’s just a little bit bigger, with bio-luminescent streaks coursing over the spikes in it’s shoulders and over it’s chest and arms; it’s gorgeous. Chuck would never admit it, but he’s always shared the same amazement of the Kaiju as the eggheads back at headquarters, he just happened to enjoy watching them bubble and gurgle back into the ocean more than coming at chunks of their dead corpses with bone-saws. 

The Kaiju has at least six eyes that Chuck can see, and they course with the same tinted light that it’s shoulders do. ‘’Damn..’’ he murmurs, impressed in spite of himself with the Kaijus’ raw shape. If he had known that they looked like this, he would have watched a lot more alien movies when he was younger. Even by Kaiju standards, this specific Kaiju was obviously the work of quite a few years of K-evolution.

‘’See anything?” Chuck calls back to his father, to mesmerized be the Kaiju in front of them to tear his eyes away; but he’s doubtful he’d be able to see anything anyway, now that the Conn-pod had gotten so dark. ‘’That thing fried everything running on electricity.’’ Herc sounds resigned, and Chuck barely suppressed another yell of frustration. Everything in this damn Jaeger was electric, he thinks, before silently apologizing for Striker Eureka. It’s not her fault that she’s shorted out and dead in the water, and Chuck can feel another spark of anger, this time aimed towards the Kaiju in front of them. 

Chuck isn’t sure what other options they have now, though. With Striker Eureka down, there are no other defenses left by the coastline to even try to stop the Kaiju. And even if Cherno Alpha or Crymson Typhoon managed to get back up it was obvious now that Leatherback could take them out just as easily as he had Striker Eureka. A Kaiju with power of all LOCCENT’s electricity.. Chuck’s mind reels as he realizes what Pentecost’s next move must be. ‘’Raleigh.’’ He breaths, and he is instantly torn between getting out of the Kaiju-infested ocean for round two and having Raleigh and Mako shoved in that old tin-can and flown out with no help to try to fight Otachi and Leatherback by themselves. 

Despite Raleigh’s previous inclusion in the Jaeger program, he and Mako still counted as Rookies as far as Chuck was concerned. They were both more dedicated than several of the Rookies before them, but that didn’t make a difference when they were facing up against two Kaiju at once with no back-up to cover them. Mako knew Gipsy Danger from the inside out and Raleigh had taken out almost half a dozen Kaiju -five years ago- but that didn’t make either of them experienced enough for this job. At this point though, Chuck had to concede that it seemed like no one was really experienced enough for this job. Cherno Alpha had defeated more Kaiju than Chuck could count and they had still barely held their own for a few minutes against one of the attackers.

Chuck is broken from his worry for Raleigh as Leatherback finally reaches them -the Alien bastard was probably taking his time, knowing he had commissioned the Jaeger- and begins to beat on Striker Eureka with it’s head and shoulders, throwing it’s weight around and creating enormous waves all around him that break against Striker Eureka’s thighs and boil around Leatherback’s still oozing cuts.

‘’Emergency power erratic.’’ Herc growls into the comm, and Chuck is suddenly aware that his father has moved from the back of the Conn-pod to standing next to his now-empty harness, fiddling with the tangle of cables and wires that have fallen across the cockpit platform. ‘’I’m only getting a few seconds at a time.’’ He says, working his bootsloose from the clamps that held both Chuck and him in the neural-handshake beginning stance. 

‘’We’ve got to bail,’’ Chuck starts, and the words hurt just to say, thinking of abondaing Eureka to her fate in the ocean, being beaten on by Leatherback for god knows how long. She would be unfixable if they left her, but Chuck’s self preservation had grown higher than his love for his Jaeger as of late. 

‘’No, i’v nearly got it.’’ Herc replies, and he gets one of his boots free from the clamp and the cables tangled around his legs just as Leatherback spun Striker Eureka around, the force flinging Herc across the Conn-pod and straight into a support beam. 

Pain sears up through Chuck’s collarbone. No, not Chuck’s, his fathers collarbone. It’s hard to tell when their brains are being shoved into one unit. ‘’Dad?” He yells, hoping that Herc is okay; but he can tell without asking that it isn’t. Even without the pain in his collar bone that's spiking up through the drift, Chuck knew that Herc probably wouldn’t be moving his arm for a while. 

When Herc skids across the floor of the Conn-pod and cries out in an agony that Chuck can feel in his own shoulder the younger Hansen practically leaps out of his own harness, struggling against the clamps for what seemed like minutes before he finally disentangles himself from the machinery and runs across the floor of the pod to his father. A bad parent or not, Chuck wasn’t about to leave Herc to fend for himself with a broken collarbone while a pissed of Kaiju tried to submerge Striker Eureka.

‘’Get up, old man.’’ Chuck is practically panting, adrenaline causing his hands to shake as he loops his arms around his fathers waist as gently as he can, hauling the older Hansen to his feet and simultaneously trying to keep an eye on the live feed of Leatherback that was directly from Striker Eureka. Without a moveable arm it was going to be a lot harder to try to dodge the Kaijus’ next attack. 

‘’Don’t call me that.’’ Herc huffs out, gritting his teeth against the pain as best as he could; Chuck is only aware because of the Drift that Herc is putting up a front, doing his best to even speak as he hugs his arm to his stomach tightly, not wanting to jostle it anymore than necessary. Chuck thinks that his father sounds somewhat like a wounded animal when he speaks, but doesn’t bother trying to keep up the banter; he can tell that it’s taking too much effort for Herc to even get his words out as it is. 

As soon as Herc is on his feet he shakes Chuck off of him, and the younger Hansen is all to happy to oblige as he unwraps his arms from around Herc, only staying there a moment longer than necessary to make sure that the old man is stable before dropping his arms. 

Chuck glances around the Conn-pod, only vaguely thankful that the power was off so that they didn’t have to deal with all the alarms that would have been blaring with so many damage alerts. He isn’t sure what they’re supposed to do without power, the emergency back-ups are now fried and Herc doesn’t look like he’s fit to pilot a Jaeger any time soon. 

The elder Hansen yanks open a hinge on the wall of the Conn-pod close to him, carefully using his good arm to do so. Chuck hadn’t even noticed the door until then, the lights were so dim that he could only see what was illuminated by the searchlights from the Shatterdome, which seemed to be mostly shining on the two Kaiju more than anything else.

‘’Son, we’re not going anywhere,’’ Herc starts, and Chuck opens his mouth to say no shit before he catches on that his old man clearly has some sort of plan. ‘’But we are the only thing standing between that ugly bastard and a city of ten million people. So, we’ve got a choice here. Sit and wait.. Or do something really stupid.’’ Chuck doesn’t know if he’s heard his father right. Was that even a question? If it is, than they both certainly already know what Chuck’s answer will be. ‘’You know me.’’ Chuck says with a shrug, grinning at his father in an attempt to mask his nerves about whatever they were about to try to accomplish. ‘’I’m always up for something stupid.’’

Herc nods once, grabbing a flare gun out of the compartment in the wall. They’re good flare guns, heavy duty and made to be seen from a long distance away, considering how far off-shore Jaegers tend to get while fighting Kaiju; with heavy spark cartridges built into the flares that make it look more like some of the decked-out fireworks than an emergency flare. 

It takes them barely a minute to get up the emergency exit of the Conn-pod, even with Herc cradling his arm and Chuck insisting that he go behind the older Hansen in case he slipped and couldn’t right his balance with only one arm -to which Herc loudly grumbled and swore- and once they get out of the Jaeger and on top of her, Chuck was glad he had insisted from the way that his father was shaking with exertion.

They’re each equipped with a flare gun -part of Chuck is terrified to do what they’re about to, but theres a larger side that’s excited to point a flare gun at a Kaiju and pull the trigger- and under the searchlights the younger Hansen could have sworn that his father looked paler than usual, but they had already taken of their helmets and whatever connection they had was gone. The hangover was there, but Chuck’s attachment to Herc’s mind had faded enough that he could no longer quite tell what the older man was thinking; Chuck could only feel the pain in his shoulder and arm and the rapid beating of the heart that he didn’t think was his. 

Leatherback stops pounding against Striker Eureka when Chuck and his father appear out of the emergency hatch, cocking it’s gigantic head at them like a dog. It looks curious, and Chuck isn’t sure if he’s amazed or terrified by how sentient these things have become. Mindless destruction aside, the Kaiju had slowly been evolving in more ways than new powers and extremities. They’d figured out to aim for the heads of the Jaegers, as well as the legs; and now the damn Kaiju in front of them leaned a little bit closer and stared at them from where they were standing on top of Striker Eureka. 

Herc is the first to pipe up, as if Leatherback hadn’t already noticed them as soon as Chuck had unsealed the hatch. ‘’Hey!’’ he shouts, and damn if Chuck doesn’t feel a tug of sympathy in his chest at the pain in his fathers voice even when he’s yelling. ‘’You dented my ride you mealy-mouthed motherfucker!’’ Chuck snorts at Herc’s choice in words, but doesn’t question it as he holds up his flare gun, steadying it on his forearm before shooting directly into the Kaijus’ eye, cutting off Herc’s words towards the end. 

Barely a second later Herc fires his own gun, following Chuck’s flare closely before impacting with one of Leatherbacks Kaiju-blue eyes. The reaction the aliens oculus has to the flares makes Chuck’s stomach churn slightly; the flares piercing straight through the glowing blue orb and causing it to pulse a firey orange before it explodes outwards, more of Leatherback’s acidic blood spurting out of it’s eyes as it roars in agony, parts of Striker Eureka being torn off by the toxic blue. 

Chuck appreciates the view for a moment, the orange and yellow neon light show coming from Otachi reminding him of his first impression of Hong Kong when they had been transferred from Sydney in a helicopter. It had been dark out, but the city seemed to practically ooze neon lights from every cranny and crevice as they’d passed over it, just as many people on the streets during the night as there were during the day.

Turning slightly, Chuck catches his father staring at him with a mixture of what might be pride -not that Chuck would not what that looked like- and irritation, or maybe just more disappointment. It was hard to tell what he was thinking, and the drift hangover wasn’t giving him any clues. 

‘’Might as well swim for it.’’ Herc says, and Chuck winces. Bad joke, but clearly the only one his father has left at this point. It reminds him that just because they decided to take a stand instead of cowering in the Conn-pod, they didn’t have much of a chance with this Kaiju. They were probably going to die within the next half hour -a half hour was incredibly generous, in Chuck’s mind- and then it will all be over; Gipsy Danger will have to try to manage delivering the payload into the Drift. Chuck’s only happy thought is that Raleigh will die after him, so at least Chuck won’t have to go through the pain of listening to him die in Gypsy danger over the feed in the command deck. 

‘’Nah, bring it back over here.’’ Chuck says, flashing his father a small grin, which is illuminated by the fluorescent blues bouncing off the waves below them and Striker Eureka’s surface, catching both of the Hansen’s metallic suits and skin. ‘’I’m not done yet.’’ 

Whether it’s because he genuinely finds what Chuck has said funny or because he doesn’t want to die without a laugh first, Herc Hansen begins to laugh; not the sarcastic snorts he usually offers when Chuck says something humorous, but a full on laugh that Chuck keeps expecting to somehow jostle the old mans arm too much and cause him even more pain. 

But, after a moment, Chuck really can’t help it, because he joins in, his fathers laughter is too infectious to pass up and -he has to face it sometime- he’s going to die without so much as getting to tell Raleigh he’s in love with him, or to tell Mako that he’s sorry, and that he loves her too; or even say goodbye to his fucking dog, so he might as well die in a fit of manic, sleep-deprived laughter.

Chuck laughs until there are tears streaking down his face, and Herc looks about the same, they’re both tired and worn down from this obscene war full of aliens and it feels so fucking good to laugh at something that neither of them could help themselves, certainly not when they knew they were about to die. At least, Chuck thinks, he and his father didn’t die on such a sour note as he would have expected.

It doesn’t take long before Leatherback turns back on them though, and the Hansens laughter is cut short before they’re forced to take aim again, squinting to see through the rain that’s quickly turning into a storm around them, the wind threatening to knock them off balance as they fire all the flares they have, still aiming for the Kaijus’ eyes in an attempt to blind the giant alien, though Chuck know’s it’s no use now. 

Just as Chuck is forced to admit that there are no more flares in his gun, the sound of helicopters above them make both the Hansens look up. There's no way Pentecost would send in a helicopter to risk all of their lives trying to get the Hansens out -they were useless without there Jaeger, and Pentecost wasn’t stupid- but Chuck is both surprised and dismayed when he finds Gipsy Danger being transported to them. 

‘’A show for the condemned men.’’ He huffs, trying to sound like he’s not as worried as he really is for Gipsy Dangers pilots. He cares for both of them too much to just stand by and watch while they try to battle two Kaiju at once, but there isn’t anything else he can really do at this point. Striker Eureka’s power clearly hasn’t come back on and there are no more makeshift weapons in the Conn-pod or anywhere else close enough for Chuck to get his hands on them. He’s.. Well he’s stuck in the water, and his only chance of getting out will be too late to help Mako and Raleigh.

‘’If you don’t like it, you can jump.’’ Herc says in Chuck’s ear, and Chuck is sure that his words were taken with much heavier sarcasm than he had initially intended; but it’s not like it makes a large difference. Herc know’s about Raleigh now, whether he knows that his boy is in love or not, Chuck is positive that his father doesn’t think that Chuck actually understands how to be nice to people. Which is, sadly, incredibly true, but it doesn’t make it any harsher-sounding when he thinks of it. 

The first thing that Chuck see’s as soon as Gipsy Danger hit’s the water is Leatherback charging towards the Jaeger fearlessly -and severely less blind than Chuck would have hoped- and he wonders if it will end right there, if Raleigh and Mako have even managed a stable enough handshake that they can dodge what would no doubt be a powerful head-butt, enough to tip Gipsy Danger off her feet at least. 

Chuck shouldn’t have worried though, because Gipsy Danger is just as smooth in a fight as Raleigh is as the Jaeger sidesteps the charge, darting out a giant metal hand and ripping off the EMP emitting organ off of the Jaegers back in a swift movement that reminded Chuck of catching a snake. It’s a good move, especially considering the resistance from the water around the Jaegers legs, and he can’t help being impressed.

‘’Yeah!’’ He yells, voice completely drowned out by the combination of the storm and the battle happening just in front of them. If Raleigh’s half as good a fighter in a Jaeger with Mako as he is on the mats, Chuck can begin to believe that these Kaiju will end up dead on the bottom of the Pacific ocean again. 

Gipsy Danger tosses the organ from Leatherback away carelessly -Chuck can practically hear Newton Geiszler wailing from the Shatterdome- and follows up her first counter with a rapid fire combo that Chuck remembers -more accurately, his bruised face and chest remembers- from the mats a few days before. She sets a steady pace, a metalic punch straight to the Kaijus’ face before bringing down both of her hands on Leatherbacks shoulder, than grabbing it’s horns and smashing a knee into it’s face. 

This is all Raleigh fighting now, Chuck can tell. Mako has her own style besides the protocol’s teachings, a style that would better suit a new Mark V or better more than it fit with Gipsy Dangers capabilities. She was all high kicks and counter attacks and circles around her opponent while Raleigh relied a little more of brute force, a sort of two thousand and fourteen boxing style that Chuck had yet to grow tired of. 

As soon as Chuck begins to realize the possibility of both he and Raleigh making it back to the Shatterdome, his hopes were dashed when Gipsy Danger’s grip on Leatherback slipped slightly and the giant alien reared, flinging her nearly three hundred feet into the air with a toss of its head. Gipsy doesn’t land in the water either, she lands on the unforgiving port of Hong Kong with a clang and shriek of metal on metal that Chuck wished the storm had managed to drowned out better. He hates only being able to watch as Gipsy Danger shakily gets to her feet, meeting the Kaiju again on land as it tries to ram her. The grapple across the port messily, overturning any buildings or shipping containers that get under their feet. 

After nearly fifteen painstaking minutes Raleigh and Mako seem to gain the upper-hand again, and Chuck has to force himself not to cheer out loud again as the Jaeger begins to swing a punch that will probably stop Leatherback dead in it’s alien tracks.

Accept the punch swings just moments to late, and Leatherback doesn’t get sent flying like it should have; and Chuck is suddenly aware that he had been expecting the Mark III Jaeger to match the speed of Striker Eureka’s Mark V, and it hadn’t, missing a beat just a second too slow and allowing Leatherback to get the upper-hand instead, slowly beating the Jaeger down piece by piece. 

Chuck’s thoughts of being able to see Raleigh again turn darker, and he’s reminded again that the washed up war-hero is stuck in the fight of his life with a rookie co-pilot against not only one but two Kaiju; and the boy from Australia who never bothered making any friends because he was too busy making enemies were no longer on the winning side. They were on the no longer funded, no longer adored and no longer alive resistance that seemed like it was going to die tonight, before it ever managed trying to nuke the bridge. 

‘’So much for those two.’’ Chuck says, and his voice sounds hollow as he watches the Jaeger get pummeled into the ground. Maybe Raleigh wouldn’t die after him after all; maybe Chuck would get another shift of time where he got to go over all the ways he could have prevented Raleigh’s death by being able to defeat Leatherback by himself before he undoubtedly died somewhere in the bridge.


	9. Chapter 9

Chuck’s mind doesn’t seem to be able to absorb the fact that the world is going to end yet; and he finds himself so wrapped up in the battle between Gipsy Danger and Leatherback that he can feel his muscles twitching in an automatic response to the giant Kaijus’ attacks, as if he were piloting Gypsy Danger instead of Raleigh and Mako. 

Kaiju: four; Jeager’s zero. Chuck thinks to himself, and while his brain can do the math, he still doesn’t quite believe that after all this, after spending almost his whole life dedicated to the Jaeger program, that everything's going to end and the Kaiju are going to win. 

He watches as Leatherback throws a blow that might just end the battle right there, and his breath hitches in his throat as Gipsy Danger tries to duck. There's no way the Jaeger will get out of the way in time, and all he can do is stand and watch as both the people he cares for most get ripped apart; but by some miracle -Chuck’s never believed in them before, but he’s beginning to reconsider- the Jaeger dodges the blow, and lifts up a crane off the ground, hitting Leatherback straight across its face with the machinery, which looks like a toy in the hand of the Jaeger.

Leatherback screams again, it’s corrosive blood spilling across the port and melting anything it touches, causing the rain around it to turn to steam. Not missing a beat, Gipsy Danger begins to charge up the plasma cannons, which heat up so quickly that what little rain that hadn’t already turned to steam evaporated within a fifty foot radius of the cannon, causing fog to billow up around the Jaeger and burn away just as quickly. 

‘’Spoke too soon, maybe.’’ Herc grunts, and Chuck isn’t sure if he wants to hug his father out of relief or punch him in the face for not being as frantic as Chuck himself is. Chuck has watched countless battles between countless Jaeger's and Kaiju, and been in even more; but watching this one, now, with Raleigh and Mako piloting Gipsy Danger, Chuck isn’t sure how he hasn’t had some sort of heart-attack yet. 

Three shots of the plasma cannon that ring in Chuck’s ears; all three of them hitting the Kaiju, but only the third hit causes Leatherback to finally fall, slumping against the ground and crushing anything that was too close. Gipsy Danger turns, no doubt to go seek out Otachi, but a moment later the Jaeger turns back around, pointing it’s plasma cannons again at the slumped form of Leatherback and emptying the round straight into the Kaijus’ head. 

It looks ruthless, but Chuck understands the movement. He had heard the reports of Raleigh's last mission, even seen some of the leaked footage someone had gotten from Gypsy Dangers live feed; and with two Kaiju on the loose, there’s no room for mistakes here; and Leatherback was too deadly to risk it. 

‘’One down, one to go.’’ Raleigh’s voice can be heard even through the rain, drifting from Gipsy Danger, and Chuck wants to strangle the American for sounding so casual, as if he hadn’t just almost died.

Otachi has made it into the city by now, Chuck is sure, but he can’t find it in himself to care just yet. Raleigh and Mako have managed to kill their first Kaiju together, and Chuck couldn't be anymore thankful that neither of them were dead. He’d never had much to be thankful for in the first place, and the feeling was a bit new, but the younger Hansen wasn’t going to give up the relief that spread over him. 

After a short wait, Chuck and Herc become aware of the helicopters overhead, ready to pick up Striker Eureka and it’s pilots. There was no time to lose now that the immediate danger was dead; they needed this Jaeger for Operation Pitfall and they needed to get her back in running order before more Kaiju came crawling out of the Bridge. 

\---

Once they’re back in the Shatterdome Herc is immediately pulled into Medical, and Chuck doesn’t come with them; not wanting to get in the way, and not wanting to have to talk to his father any more about their drift. Raleigh was still fighting Otachi most likely, and Chuck didn’t miss a second, as soon as he’s sure his father is being taken care of and Striker Eureka is docked he makes his way into the Command Deck, slipping into the room as quietly as possible and watching the monitors that line the front wall.

Tendo is on the edge of his seat, madly trying to keep up with both Otachi and Gipsy Danger, as well as keeping an eye on the Bridge to make sure nothing else comes through while they’re distracted. His underlings, likewise, are furiously keeping up with the battle, gauging Gipsy Danger’s power and making sure she’ll hold up through her fight.

Marshal Pentecost is still there as well, his back ramrod straight and his hands tucked behind his back, but anyone can tell that he’s tense and wary of the fight going on in the city. And why shouldn’t he be? Chuck rubs his collarbone absently, thinking that for the first time in his life he actually understands Pentecost on a higher level than ‘Kaiju bad’. He doesn’t want Raleigh to get hurt in this fight, fuck knows the man already has enough scars for a lifetime, he didn’t need to add any more.

Pentecost, unfortunately, does not seem to sense the same connection as Chuck has noticed and turns as soon as he realizes that the youngest Hansen is in the room. ‘’Hansen.’’ He says, nearly a bark that makes Chuck jump slightly, raising his eyebrows before frowning at the Marshal. The man was intense -and rightly so- but Chuck had been so caught up on the fight on screen that he had nearly forgotten about everyone else on the Command Deck.

‘’Sir.’’ He says, as if he’s too oblivious to not think this was a regular greeting, knowing it will dig under the Marshal’s skin at least a little bit. ‘’Is your father okay?” Pentecost asks, somehow managing to make the words sound impersonal and cold despite his question. ‘’He smashed his collarbone up pretty good.’’ Chuck confirms, wondering why Pentecost is asking seeing as he’s probably already been informed of this by one of Tendo’s minions.

‘’And why are you here?” Pentecost questions. 'Oh' Chuck thinks, realizing that before had only been so he didn’t seem heartless, a sort of buffer to let Chuck’s mind keep up with his words. 

The hard part is saying something that sounds like he isn’t concerned about either of the Jaeger pilots in Gipsy Danger but not being rude enough to get kicked off the Command Deck; and Chuck has to take a moment to get his words together, struggling for too long to come up with a good reason that wasn’t about Raleigh.

‘’I wanna see who’s got my back for Operation Pitfall.’’ he drawls after nearly twenty seconds of working his mind over reasons that Marshal Pentecost wouldn’t kick his ass for, and for a moment Chuck feels a tinge of pride in his answer, because it’s so sincere sounding that no one would ever guess he had had sex with one of the Jaeger's pilots and was hoping he’d have time to do it again before one of them -if not both of them- died.

‘’Right.’’ Pentecost snorts, and he looks Chuck up and down, as if he’s hardly surprised this is his answer but still a little bit disappointed that the Australian hadn’t become a more caring person since the last time they talked; but that was okay, Chuck could deal without Marshal Pentecost’s respect for a little while longer, and then he’d be dead either way, so it wouldn't matter.

‘’Get the hell off the Command deck.’’ Pentecost says, and Chuck frowns again, not wanting to leave. He wants to know if something happens to Raleigh -or to Mako- and he doubts that anyone's going to make a big announcement over the comms if the Jaeger goes down. Not as fast as Chuck would like, anyway.

‘’Sir?” Chuck questions, making no move to step out of the room. He’s disobeying orders and he knows it, but there's hardly anything they can take away from him now, and Chuck isn’t about to give up that easily, not on something like this. On screen, Otachis’ tail winds itself around Gipsy Danger’s plasma cannon and slowly begins to choke it out.

‘’Ranger, don’t start with me.’’ Pentecost doesn’t spare him another glance now, instead turning back around and facing the screens, clearly more interested in Gipsy Danger than Chuck. ‘’Either step down and go get some sleep, or be escorted to your quarters with a guard to make sure you don’t go anywhere.’’ 

Chuck hates the resemblance to being grounded that Marshal Pentecost clearly intends in his words, but he doesn’t question it, not wanting to have to deal with anyone trying to keep tabs on him while he attempts some form of sleep. So he does what he’s told, nodding silently and stepping out of the Command Deck, frowning as he makes his way down the halls. He could go to where the Medics are no doubt keeping his father as an excuse not to be trapped in a room by himself with only his thoughts of Raleigh’s -and his own- impending death to keep him company, but somehow Chuck thinks that he would end up back in his room anyway, and it would only result in Pentecost giving a show of force to make sure Chuck stays there. 

As he makes his way down the metal halls, boots stomping and rattling on the metal ventilation grates on the floor, Chuck becomes acutely aware that he’s just as tired as Pentecost probably thought he was. He’s still more worried about Raleigh than he could be about anything else -especially something with as little consequence as sleep- but Chuck is almost positive he can feel his eyelids getting heavy as he reaches his own quarters, punching his code in with a wary hand and shoving open his door tiredly.

Inside Max is dozing on the bed, and the dog sits up as soon as Chuck opens the door, dragging a small smile out of Chuck as he closes the hatch behind him, tugging off his shirt and letting it fall onto the floor before sitting on the edge of his bed. Max butts his head up against Chuck’s arm and the Ranger pets him slowly, yawning before he finally leans down to tug off his boots and leave them scattered over the floor. With luck, no more Kaiju would make it out of the Bridge before Gipsy Danger got some mechanics on her, and by the time they had repaired so much as half the damage that Leatherback and Otachi had caused, Chuck is positive he will have gotten plenty of sleep.

Sighing, Chuck realizes that he should probably leave Max with his father for a while to make sure that Herc doesn't get to soft laying in the medical bay -and also maybe to keep him company- and Chuck stands back up, crouching to pick up his shirt again and tugging it on, not bothering with his boots. 

As soon as Max sees Chuck pick up his leash he begins to wag the stump of his tail excitedly, and Chuck can't suppress the lopsided grin that tugs on the corners of his lips as he sits next to the bulldog and clips the leash onto his collar carefully, which is easier said than done with all of Max's excited wiggling. 

The medical bay isn't that far from the Rangers quarters, which Chuck is incredibly thankful for as he stumbles down the hallways, barefoot and all but being dragged forward by Max until he reaches the entrance for people who aren't being wheeled in on stretchers. No one gives him a second glance as Chuck traipses in, glancing around before he finds his father sitting on a bed, propped up by a few pillows and connected to what looks like a Morphine drip. 

''Hey.'' Chuck huffs out when Herc's eyes finally move from a spot on the ceiling to him. He hadn't really thought about conversing with his father that much, but now that he's hear it's pretty much impossible to avoid. Kneeling down, Chuck ties the end of Max's leash to the short leg of the bed, and then picks the dog up to deposit him next to his fathers feet on the bed, squishing the dogs face lovingly. 

''I'd ask how the collarbone is but i guess-'' Chuck is cut off when his father pipes up, looking so thoughtful that Chuck feels like he needs to brace himself for getting disowned or something.

''Why were you scared of telling me?" Herc Hansen actually sounds a little bit hurt when his words come out, and Chuck isn't sure if it's genuine or if it's just the morphine, but either way he doesn't think he likes it. His father isn't supposed to sound weak and tired and sad about anything, he's supposed to sound put-upon and overall judgmental and maybe a little pissed off. Not sad.

''Why do you think? I mean, it's not like we talk about anything else.'' Chuck retorts, but he's not so irritated this time as he's just caught off guard. He's not trying to be cutting or mean to his father, he's being honest. They fell apart as soon as his mother died, and just pretended like nothing happened. They pretended like everything was fine because if they didn't than they might actually have to face the fact that under any other circumstances, they wouldn't have spoken to each other ever again if they didn't Drift. 

''You're a goddamned idiot if half of the things I saw in the drift were true.'' Herc sighs, rolling his eyes and shifting as if he's going to push himself into a more upright position before remembering the brace on his shoulder. 

Chuck bristles angrily, irritated that after seeing and feeling everything his father would somehow try to make him sound like an invalid. He opens his mouth to defend himself but his father pipes up again, giving him a slightly exasperated look.

''You thought I wouldn't believe you, or that i'd hate you or something if you told me. You didn't keep quiet because we don't talk, boy, so don't give me that.'' Herc's voice never changes volume, never gets louder or even really changes tone, but Chuck thinks he can see the pain flair up when his father starts talking again.

''You didn't tell me because you were scared I wouldn't love you. Which is half-assed, terribly thought out, and one of the stupidest things i have ever seen in your brain.'' If Herc gets slightly misty eyed while he voices Chuck's thoughts, neither of them mention it. 

Chuck stutters over his words for a moment, his gaze shifting from his father to Max to his father again. When it was put like that, Chuck knew it sounded like one of the dumbest things in the world; but he hadn't known before now. He hadn't known what his fathers reaction would really be and any time he tried to tell himself that Herc would love him no matter what it seemed like a joke, because it hardly seemed like his father loved him at all. 

''That's one of the longest sentences you'v ever said to me that didn't involve the word 'Jaeger', or 'I'm disappointed in you'.'' Chuck finally manages, and instantly wants to leave the Medical, slam his head on a wall, and then go die at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean, because that had come out so much more heartless than he had meant it too.

Herc sighs, but nods as if he might have gotten the vague meaning behind his sons hashed together words. ''Go get some sleep, Chuck, you look like hell.'' He says, and Chuck rolls his eyes. Good to know that a nice heart-to-heart didn't change anything.

''Not the one with a shattered collarbone.'' He says, quirking an eyebrow, but turns around anyway and heads back to his own quarters, leaving Herc to his morphine drip and his thoughts. For some sleep that Chuck was now entirely sure he needed. His worry about Raleigh was still a tight knot in his stomach, but there was nothing else he could do but try to pass the time as quickly as possible.

Making it back to his quarters takes more time now that he doesn't have an energetic bulldog tugging him through the Shatterdome, but as soon as Chuck is back in his room he lets out a sigh that he feels like he's been holding since he left to drop Max off with his father. Tugging off his shirt, Chuck dumps in on the floor again and flops onto his bed, all but groaning into his pillow at how good it feels to not be standing up.

Crawling fully onto his bed, Chuck tugs the covers haphazardly over himself, not bothering with his jeans as Max curls up in front of him, pressing against his chest as Chuck attempts to get comfortable. His collarbone still aches, but less so; he isn’t sure if that’s because the drift hangover with his father was fading, or if the medics had already gotten it all set and taken care of so the pain was more bearable. 

As Chuck closes his eyes, he reaches his hand up to absently rub at the collarbone that wasn’t supposed to hurt, fingers scratching against the skin as Max begins to breath slowly again. There's a bitter-sweetness in knowing that he might not ever see Raleigh again, because it makes it easier for Chuck to think that he’s going to die soon in Operation Pitfall.


	10. Chapter 10

When Chuck wakes up, he’s too hot despite how he’s already kicked off the sheets in his sleeps. Max is still curled into his chest, and Chuck makes a pathetic attempt at human words towards the dog that comes out in a groan, too tired to move him but wanting the dog to get off. 

‘’What?” comes a tired voice from behind him, which Chuck can definitely decide isn’t Max.

Chuck blinks, suddenly more awake than he was before. Theres a dull weight against his back that he hadn’t noticed at first, and Chuck turns quickly, nearly falling out of his bed and causing Max to jump off onto the floor in an attempt to get a clear view of whoever was in bed with him before his eyes fall on Raleigh. 

‘’Fuck me, you scared me.’’ Chuck hisses, his voice groggy with sleep as he resists throwing a pillow at Raleigh’s head. It takes him a moment before he puts together that he had passed out without knowing if the older man was going to live through the next eight hour shift or not, and he immediately feels a little guilty for not greeting him better. 

‘’I am pretty open to both of those, actually.’’ Raleigh says, rolling onto his stomach and holding himself up on his forearms, blinking blearily at Chuck. The American’s eyes are slightly swollen from sleep and his hair is tousled like he’d been stuck in a Jaeger-grade helmet for the past few hours, but he looks more or less unharmed as he smiles up at Chuck. 

Ignoring his poor effort at an innuendo, Chuck leans closer to Raleigh and presses a kiss against his lips carefully, unable to get his mind around the fact that they had both made it back alive. ‘’How did you even get in here?” He asks, not letting himself be undeterred as Raleigh wraps an arm around his waist, flipping them over so the American is on top of Chuck, looking considerably more awake than he had a few seconds ago.

‘’Asked Mako for your number.’’ Raleigh says in a dismissive voice, and Chuck wonders how that conversation went for a moment before Raleigh leans down and kisses him again, this time pressing closer and biting at Chuck’s lips, making him squirm.

‘’Okay.’’ is all Chuck manages to get out, instead of any sort of sarcastic comment that he probably should have been able to think of, too wrapped up in the way Raleigh felt on top of him to really want to think about Mako at the moment. 

Raleigh pulls away from Chuck’s mouth for a moment to chuckle breathlessly, but Chuck is too focused at this point to give him much time before he tangles his fingers through the American’s grown-out hair and tugs him back down, all but crashing their mouths together, sinking his teeth into Raleigh’s bottom lip roughly, causing the American to groan quietly and straighten up, pulling Chuck into a sitting position as he does.

‘’We’ve got a few hours before Pentecost wants us to activate Oper-’’ Raleigh starts, but Chuck interrupts him, uninterested in wasting the time it would take for the American to finish his sentence. ‘’Perfect.’’ He says, tugging Raleigh forward by the neck of his sweater for another kiss, this time licking down Raleigh’s neck experimentally. The older man shivers under the attention, and Chuck can barely suppress a grin at the action. 

‘’Take off your shirt.’’ He orders, and almost laughs at how quickly Raleigh tugs the loose fabric over his head and tosses it onto the floor. For a moment, Chuck enjoys watching the way all the muscles under Raleigh’s skin bunch together and flow around each of his movements, making the scars over his chest ripple over them. As soon as he’s discarded the clothing Raleigh sits up expectantly, and Chuck is all too happy to close the distance between them again, roughly grabbing Raleigh’s hips and pulling him forward so he can lay more sloppy kisses down the American’s neck.

Chuck wants to fuck the older man on the spot when Raleigh crawls into his lap, looping his arms around Chuck’s neck loosely; encouraging Chuck enough to bite at Raleigh’s shoulder. Raleigh whimpers at the pain, but doesn’t attempt to twist away from Chuck’s mouth, instead leaning into it ever so slightly.

When Chuck pulls away there are red marks that stand out from Raleigh’s tan skin, each in the shape of his teeth. It’s gorgeous to look at, but Chuck is more distracted by the way Raleigh is rocking his hips down into Chuck’s lap, either to get his attention or just to give himself a bit of relief Chuck wasn’t sure. 

‘’You like that?” Chuck snorts, smirking at Raleigh before reaching up and undoing the older mans pants, unzipping them and tugging the fly open enough to palm Raleigh’s half-hard cock. He’s going to enjoy the next hour or so quite a lot more than he would have if he hadn’t known he’d have a lap full of needy American to keep him distracted.

‘’Shit-’’ Raleigh breaths as soon as Chuck’s hand is against his cock, and Chuck has to hold back a grin. Without taking his hand off of Raleigh’s crotch, Chuck uses his other hand to scratch red lines over the American’s chest, digging his nails into the skin roughly for a moment before stilling both of his hands, pulling them back and refusing to touch Raleigh. 

‘’Sit up.’’ He says, doing his best not to marvel at how quickly Raleigh is on his knees, straddling Chuck’s thighs. Tugging at the belt loops of Raleigh’s dark blue cargo pants, Chuck leans forward to mouth at the tent in his briefs -chucks briefs, actually- dampening the thin fabric with his tongue as he works his mouth over the underside of his cock. 

Raleigh lets his head tilt back, leaning forward into Chuck’s touch. Experimentally, Chuck scrapes his teeth over the fabric, dragging them lightly over Raleigh’s cock and making the older man shiver, biting his lip to try to keep quiet. They have more time this time around, and Chuck is determined to take advantage of that, dragging it out as long as he can without either fucking Raleigh or getting the older man to fuck him. 

Tugging at the cargo pants again, Chuck pulls the fabric down to Raleigh’s knees before Raleigh tugs them off the rest of the way, slithering out of them carefully and tossing them onto the floor to join his shirt. Seconds later he’s back, fully hard after Chuck’s teasing. Slowly, Chuck lifts his hand up and strokes Raleigh’s cock languidly through the fabric of his underwear, still not bothering to take off Raleigh's briefs despite how uncomfortably tight they’re beginning to look. 

Raleigh’s ragged breathing is now audible above Chuck, and the Australian can’t get over how excited he sounds, straining not to push up against Chuck’s hand even though he clearly wants too. 

‘’Jesus, Chuck, please.’’ Raleigh groans in impatience after a minute, loud enough that Chuck tenses up for a moment, wondering if someone had heard. Flicking his eyes up to Raleigh’s face for a moment, Chuck gives him a lazy grin and leans back slightly, putting his hands in his lap defiantly. 

‘’Please what?” He asks, and the amount of frustration that radiates from Raleigh’s glare makes Chuck want to laugh, but he manages to keep a straight face.

‘’I can’t do anything if I don’t know what you want, handsome.’’ He huffs, quirking an eyebrow at Raleigh like the American should have already known this, and extracting a mortified look from the older man that Chuck wishes he could get on camera. 

‘’Touch. Me.’’ Raleigh finally grinds out, looking irritated but too far gone to really do anything but comply to Chuck’s words. It’s adorable, Chuck thinks to himself, but lets Raleigh’s short answer slide, unable to keep his hands off of the American to come up with any more excuses. 

‘’You’re so enthusiastic.’’ Chuck rolls his eyes, but doesn’t argue as he curls his fingers into the waistband of Raleigh’s briefs, tugging them off just slowly enough that they dragged and pulled over the American’s hard on, making Raleigh suck in a breath quietly, his hands clenching loosely at his sides. 

As casually as he can muster, Chuck lets Raleigh’s briefs drop around his knees and reaches up to rub over the older mans cock carefully, not even bothering to pretend like he’s moving any faster than before as he ducks his head forward, pressing a biting kiss into the sharp V of Raleigh’s hipbone, dragging another frustrated groan out of the American.

Finally, after resisting for so long, Raleigh doesn’t seem to be able to deal with Chuck’s slow pace anymore, and he cards his fingers through the younger Rangers hair, pulling him back by his hair so Chuck’s face is pressed up against his cock instead of his hip.

Chuck hadn’t been expecting it much, but he certainly wasn’t about to complain about the shift in roles as Raleigh yanks at his hair painfully, pushing him towards his cock again with the same feeling of impatience as before that made Chuck grin before obediently opening his mouth, taking the head of Raleigh’s cock in his mouth and sucking on it gently. 

He’d never given a blow job before, but he didn’t think it could be too bad, especially with Raleigh’s hand guiding him by his hair as he works; Chuck tries not to think about the potentially embarrassing outcomes as he sucks on Raleigh’s cock, drinking in the appreciative noises Raleigh is continuing to give him, faint moans that he’s probably not trying to muffle very much.

After a minute Raleigh begins pushing again, and Chuck dips his head forward, taking more of Raleigh’s cock into his mouth as best he can without getting his teeth in the way. Raleigh clearly had a thing for pain, but even Chuck wasn’t going to mess with biting while sucking him off.

Chuck can feel it in his throat when Raleigh shifts slightly, moving his weight from one leg to the other and curling his hand tightly in his hair. He gets into a sort of rhythm with his mouth, rocking his head up and down, focusing taking Raleigh’s cock as far as he can without choking before he feels Raleigh’s eyes on him. 

‘’Mm?” He looks up, not bothering trying to form an actual question, Chuck is smart enough to figure he won’t get anything but vowels out with Raleigh’s cock in his mouth. Raleigh sucks in a breath, looking down at him for a moment with a tight expression like he’s holding back another moan or trying to his best not to say something, but for the life of him Chuck doesn’t know what it is. 

‘’Shit, Chuck-’’ Raleigh looks like he’s struggling for words, which Chuck can understand, seeing as he’s in the middle of getting sucked off. 

‘’Wish you could see the view from up here.’’ Raleigh manages after another few seconds of him trying his best to get his words together, and Chuck catches himself wanting to roll his eyes, but he doubts it will have the same effect when he’s got his mouth on the American’s dick, so he doesn’t try, instead keeping up with his rhythm, speeding up slightly just to see if it can drag another reaction out of Raleigh.

Chuck has to force himself not to slide his hand into his own pants when Raleigh starts to moan, short hums when Chuck hollows out his cheeks or slides his tongue over the underside of Raleigh’s cock; the noises are practically intoxicating, and Chuck is now just as aware of his own hard on -which was getting close to painful in the restriction of his jeans- and it doesn’t take long before Chuck pulls off of Raleigh’s cock completely, not wanting to finish off that quickly.

‘’I brought condoms this time.’’ Raleigh manages, his voice wavering slightly and making Chuck smirk, but the Australian is glad that at least one of them came prepared this time, even if he doesn’t say it. 

‘’Hey, c’mere.’’ Chuck gestures towards him instead of replying, and Raleigh rolls his eyes, giving the Australian and exasperated look.

‘’I’m right in front of you, genius.’’ He huffs, and Chuck has to seriously resist the urge to laugh at how indignant Raleigh can look considering his current position. He looks gorgeous, frankly, and for a moment Chuck hesitates, having to remind himself why it isn’t really the time to tell Raleigh that considering; but he wants too, he’s so tempted to just blurt out what he really thinks.

Chuck is all too used to being able to say his mind without being to concerned by the consequences his words might have, but now he seems to be hyper aware oft he effect that his words could have on Raleigh and even on himself, so he keeps his mouth shut, biting the inside of his cheek to remind himself not to say anything.

"Yeah, I meant come closer, Ray." Chuck rolls his eyes, reaching out and tugging at Raleigh's hips roughly, pulling the American into his lap like Raleigh had done before, pressing another kiss to the older mans shoulder that was more a bite than anything else.

Raleigh reacts perfectly to Chuck re arranging him, letting out a small noise of surprise at being hauled into Chuck's lap and instantly curling his arms around he Australians waist loosely. Chuck scrapes his nails over Raleigh's chest again, this time tracing the pale red lines that he had made before as he sloppily kisses over the bite marks he's left on the older mans shoulder, drawing short gasps and whimpers from Raleigh, making Chuck wonder why he hadn't tried this sooner.

Pausing from scratching marks onto Raleigh's chest, Chuck clumsily undoes his jeans, tugging them down as much as he can with Raleigh in his lap before he curls his hand around both of their cocks, causing them to both quietly suck in their breath as he pumps his hand up and down slowly. It's pathetic how good his just his hand feels after waiting so long, but the effect is obviously so much more drastic for Raleigh that Chuck can't bring himself to mind the inevitable point where neither of them can take any more teasing, just to watch Raleigh try to hold back from pushing into his hand.

"Fuck, Ray you have no idea how needy you look right now." Chuck sneers, and Raleigh stops biting his lip long enough to frown at him before the American gets his hands on Chuck's shoulders, shoving him back onto the bed with quite a bit more force than necessary and following up with a bruising kiss, crushing his mouth against Chuck's.

It's distracting, between the stimulation on his cock from Raleigh's stomach rubbing over it and the warm feeling of the older mans tongue sliding over his teeth demandingly, as if he wasn't already on top of Chuck, actively pinning him down by the shoulders. It felt better than it should, having Raleigh's full weight on him, digging into his lungs and making it a struggle just to breath as the American kissed him. The idea of his lips being swollen from all of the biting that Raleigh was doing didn't help Chuck's case much at all, and he was damn close to begging by the time Raleigh finally pulled away, hovering an inch or so over his face and grinning so triumphantly that Chuck wanted to wrap his hands around the older mans tan neck again.

"Needy?" Raleigh repeats smugly, and Chuck scowls at him, reaching up a hand and running it through Raleigh's hair before yanking on it sharply, pulling him back until the older man had to sit up to keep up with the pain in his scalp. Chuck grins widely, sitting up as well and curling his other arm comfortingly around Raleigh's waist, his fingers rubbing gentle circles into his hip as he continues to yank at the older mans hair.

"Nice try." He murmurs, and roughly tugs at Raleigh's hair again, forcing him to bare his neck so Chuck can suck a dark hickie Into the tendon of Raleigh's neck, not bothering to try to keep up with his rule about marks anymore. Mako new, and his father new, and anyone who saw Raleigh with a hickie on his neck wouldn't think anything else of it. If Chuck had a hickie though, at least one person would bring unwanted attention towards it considering he'd never had a hickie that anyone had seen before.

And besides, they were all about to die anyway, so what did it really matter?

Raleigh slowly begins to adjust the the pain caused from Chuck pulling his hair; the Australian can tell from the way his shoulders slowly begin to become less tense, falling into a slump that leans into Chuck's mouth slightly. The American's cock is hard and obvious against Chuck's stomach, and he takes his time on Raleigh's neck to purposefully look like he's ignoring the way Raleigh keeps shifting ever so slightly as he looks for friction. It's adorable to watch him squirm, whimpering whenever Chuck bites his neck to hard and occasionally failing to withhold a gasp when Chuck runs his tongue over the teeth marks in his skin.

"Chuck- Chuck okay, shit I see your point just-" Raleigh's voice is low and urgent when he talks, and it sounds like he's beginning to give up and start downright begging Chuck to fuck him right there, but just as Chuck begins to think he's won Raleigh surprises him again.

"Just let me fuck you already, fuck; or I could throat fuck you, if you like that? Shit, you'd love stretching your mouth over my cock again wouldn't you-" Chuck doesn't want to admit how much Raleigh's dirty talking -grade A, dirty talking- is affecting him, but it's not that easy to hide the way his cock twitches at the older mans words. He'd never had a lot of time to ponder his kinks -or if he even had any- but it figured he'd get all worked up over something as terrible as dirty talking.

Raleigh smirks at Chuck who, in retaliation, tugs at the blondes hair again, his other hand digging into Raleigh's back sharply, even though all he wants to do is get Raleigh to keep talking like that; to get the American to keep mumbling those words as he gets pushed back into he mattress. He wants Raleigh to fuck him, but he's not going to let him without a struggle of some sort.

"C'mon-" Raleigh starts, and Chuck tightens his grip in the older mans hair, acutely aware of how beads of pre-come from Raleigh's cock smear over his stomach as he does so.

After sucking in a short, pained breath, Raleigh seems to adjust himself to the pain again, twisting against Chuck's grip defiantly. It's intoxicating just to watch him move, his muscles taught and lithe under tan skin that rose an fell with every panting breath he gets out; Chuck has to convince himself to stop looking after a minute so he can get on with teasing the American. 

"For fucks sake, Raleigh, hair pulling gets you off?" He mocks, bending slightly to suck on the older mans collar bone lightly, planning on making quite a few more marks in case he doesn't make it back from Operation Pitfall. He wants to make sure that Raleigh has at least one thing to remember him by after he's dead, but anything more dark red and purple hickies littered over his scarred skin seemed cliche.

"Hng- well, you're the one-" Raleigh starts to say in between gasps, but Chuck bites at his collar bone before Raleigh can finish his sentence; instead the American groans, leaning into Chuck's mouth and breathing sharply, not even trying to finish what he was going to say anymore.

"I'm listening," Chuck says, as if that had been the reason Raleigh's words had been cut off. He wants to see how many times he can make Raleigh stutter or cut himself off before he can actually finish whatever he's trying to say. He wants to see just how frustrated the older man will get with him; especially if Raleigh gets fed up enough to start pushing him around again. 

"You're-" Raleigh's voice cracks halfway through his first word when Chuck licks a stripe from his collar bone to his Adam's apple, mouthing gently over Raleigh's skin and reveling in the way his throat works when the American tries to gather himself up again. He's struggling so uselessly that Chuck is instantly driven to see how long he can drag this game out before Raleigh gets fed up with him, or just stops trying. It's amazing to watch him, and Chuck thinks he could listen to the older man try to finish this one sentence all day of he had time, just for an excuse to watch him squirm a little bit more. Raleigh groans in frustration, reaching up to tangle his fingers through Chuck's hair, but he doesn't pull on it, just cups the back of his head on his palm, pushing the Australian closer to him.

"Goddamnit-" Raleigh starts, but stops again just as quickly when Chuck gets his free hand in between them and rubs his thumb roughly over the head of Raleigh's cock, dragging a gasp that turns into a moan and then a shudder out of the American.

Raleigh groans again, and Chuck can feel the vibrations where he's still mouthing over Raleigh's Adam's apple. He keeps moving his hand, pumping Raleigh's cock painstakingly slow, just enough to give him friction without any actual relief, which works perfectly; making Raleigh huff out an exasperated breath and rock his hips up into Chuck’s hand slowly.

‘’Chuck, jesus fucking - shit!’’ Raleigh barks, and Chuck know’s that at some point he’s going to have to at least try to muffle Raleigh’s words if they keep getting any louder, but they sound so gorgeous that he isn’t sure he really cares about anyone else hearing them at this point. Of course, rationally at the beginning of his next shift when they suit up for Operation Pitfall, Chuck is sure a small part of him will severely regret being so loud, but that doesn’t matter now.

‘’Alright, alright, calm down.’’ Chuck drawls, smirking against the older mans throat before he leans backwards, propping himself with his arms and raising his eyebrows at Raleigh. 

Raleigh breaths in slowly like he’s forcing himself to get over the stimulation in his cock before he starts moving again, and Chuck watches him carefully as the older man leans over the bed and scrabbles for a moment for the bottle of lube in his drawer. Raleigh’s body really is gorgeous, even if the older man does seem to be ashamed of it, hiding his scars under over sized sweaters and hoping no-one questions it, but Chuck thinks the scars only manage to make him look the part.

Raleigh sits back, making the bed dip as the older man settles all of his weight on it again as he lets the bottle fall with a soft thud onto the mattress, grabbing Chuck’s hips and dragging him closer. Chuck can’t look away, can’t stop staring at Raleigh especially once the older man wraps his hands over Chuck’s thigh’s and drags him closer in the most casual manner before returning to the bottle of lube. 

He makes quick work of shucking off his jeans and underwear while Raleigh's busy with the lubricant, tossing them on the floor.

Chuck can’t help but wonder if Raleigh feels the same way for a moment, curiosity piqued at the idea that Raleigh of all people could find himself unable to stop staring at Chuck, but the Australian already has a pretty good idea of the answer so he lets it go without bothering to ask.

‘’Ready?” Raleigh’s voice stirs Chuck back into the present, where the American is looking up at him with almost hesitant eyes, his eyebrows drawn together like he might have noticed Chuck getting distracted. 

Snorting, Chuck shifts slightly, rocking forward on his forearms and pressing a kiss against Raleigh’s mouth that barely lasts a few seconds before he leans back, re-adjusting himself under Raleigh’s grip and spreading his legs just a little bit more, smirking when the American slumps down and presses a kiss into his thigh before he begins pressing his lubricated fingers up against Chuck’s hole.

His fingers are cold and Chuck has to suppress a shiver when Raleigh pushes a finger into him, biting his lip and breathing in carefully. After a few seconds, right before Chuck is about to bark at the American to start moving, Raleigh begins to rock his finger in and out slowly, in time with his own breathing as if to make sure he won’t go to fast. 

It’s infuriatingly slow and Chuck immediately regrets tossing his idea of riding Raleigh out the window; he doesn’t need Raleigh to be soft and sweet right now, he’s about to die and he wants to die sore and limping and covered in bite marks dammit. 

‘’Raleigh, move.’’ He hisses, and Raleigh glances up at him, but apparently the American isn’t as much of a sadist as Chuck is, because he just shakes his head and begins carefully sliding in another finger.

‘’Ray!’’ Chuck snaps, shifting his weight and raising one hand to smack Raleigh over the cheek, quickly getting the older man’s attention. 

‘’Stop being nice, and fuck me.’’ Chuck growls once the sound of his hand connecting with Raleigh’s face dies out, and Raleigh smirks, wetting his bottom lip and nodding jerkily before reaching off the bed and grabbing his pants from where he had dumped them on the floor, searching for a moment before he pulls a condom out of his back pocket.

Raleigh’s cheek is a little bit red where Chuck had hit him, and the Australian isn’t even attempting to argue with himself that he likes the way the red mark stands out on Raleigh’s gorgeous tanned skin. While Raleigh slips on a condom and begins carefully lubing himself up -Chuck doesn’t understand why the American is so set on being careful- Chuck does his best not to hit Raleigh again, despite the way he can feel his hand clenching and un-clenching automatically by his side until Raleigh grabs his hips and pulls Chuck into his lap.

Instantly understanding, Chuck sits up, wrapping his arms loosely around Raleigh’s shoulders and balancing himself on his shins, lowering himself slowly onto the American’s cock. It hurts worse than he had anticipated when he’d insisted on disregarding Raleigh work him open first, and Chuck lets his forehead rest on the older mans shoulder as he works himself down slowly.

Most likely Raleigh was still being a goddamned sweetheart by letting Chuck control the pace himself instead of having Raleigh worry over whether or not he's going to fast, but Chuck takes it, because at least Raleigh isn't still fingering him at the speed of a glacier.

Chuck almost moans at the pain -even without Raleigh’s cock inside him, it felt good- but he keeps his mouth shut, not wanting to alarm the American as he starts slowly going back up again, trying to focus on the pleasant feeling of Raleigh’s cock on his prostate instead of how much it hurts to be stretched open so fast. 

‘’Okay?” Raleigh murmurs in Chuck’s ear, and the Australian becomes aware of Raleigh’s hands settling on his thighs, balancing him carefully more than really controlling him. Chuck doesn’t bother rolling his eyes because he knows that Raleigh wouldn’t see it, but he speeds up, the pain beginning to feel more like a lasting throb like a punch in the face instead of the discomfort he had felt before.

‘’Fine.’’ He bites out, and then laughs breathlessly because fuck, it really does feel good to be riding Raleigh like this, and he speeds up his movements as much as he can, reveling in the way that Raleigh’s breath hitches and gasps when he does so. 

He keeps going like that for a few minutes, lifting himself up and down as he feels heat building up in his cock, until his legs start to shake from the mixture of soreness from his last mission and the monotonous movement of his muscles; Chuck would have kept going despite his legs, but Raleigh picks up on it and, before he can say anything, the older man slides out of him and moves to the edge of the bed and stands up, supporting Chuck with one hand on the Australians thigh and the other wrapped around his waist.

‘’Shit-’’ the movement makes Chuck gasp slightly, not having expected for Raleigh to actually be able to lift him, let alone carry him to the other side of the room and press him up against a goddamned wall.

‘’I thought you’d appreciate it.’’ Raleigh huffs, and Chuck is positive he can hear the fake pout in the American’s voice as he pushes Chuck’s back into the wall, continuing to hold him up as Chuck reaches back and finds Raleigh’s cock and strokes it before adjusting himself so he can lower himself back onto it; not bothering to counter Raleigh’s words.

It takes a minute for Raleigh to get Chuck positioned against the wall properly, and Chuck finds himself choking back laughter at least twice as his shoulder blades clash awkwardly against the wall before Raleigh finally settles his grip around Chuck’s thighs, pushing his cock back into him and making Chuck hiss at the blunt pain before he can adjust to it.

This time Raleigh isn’t tender though, and he doesn’t stop when Chuck whimpers into the crook of his neck. He isn’t sure if he could express how good it felt to have Raleigh fucking him against a wall like this, his hips rocking roughly up against him as the American messily bit marks into his shoulder and collarbone, dragging groans out of Chuck almost every time his teeth scraped over his skin.

This is what he had wanted from the beginning, Raleigh biting into his collarbone and gripping Chuck’s thighs so tightly that there's no way they won’t leave bruises. Chuck feels like he’s suffocating in how good each roll of Raleigh’s hips feels; and he can hear himself panting and moaning almost constantly but he can’t bring himself to close his mouth. 

He’s gasping out every breath by the time that Raleigh begins to stutter out moans, and Chuck can feel Raleigh’s pushing him harder into the wall as his muscles start shake, his hips moving with less rhythm as he gets closer. 

Chuck feels so overstimulated that he’s hardly surprised when he comes right there, a muffled howl in the back of his throat as he does so; the mix of pain and pleasure to overwhelming to deal with for any longer. He starts trying to breath again, burying his head in the crook of Raleigh’s neck as the older man bucks his hips up a few more times until he finishes as well; ignoring the mess that Chuck made on his chest in favor of kissing a trail up Chuck’s neck and slowly pulling out of him with a barely audible sigh.

For a moment they’re both quiet, and Chuck isn’t sure if he enjoys or loathes the silence where he can stay pressed against Raleigh.

**Author's Note:**

> I got Mako's Japanese off of google translate so it's probably fucked up really bad sorry u-u


End file.
